Getting married soon!! How will it affect my bass playing/owning?!

Sleeq · #1 03-01-2009, 03:45 AM

For all you married people out there... what bass habits did you have to change/amend? Or nothing changed?

I want to be ready from to anticipate!

Cheers!

Jazz Ad · #2 03-01-2009, 04:01 AM

If music doesn't supply a comfortable amount of money for the household, this is the end of rock'n'roll for you.
If music provides money, you will still be allowed to play night shows. As long as you don't mind being cheated on by your accountant neighboor of course.

Wadge · #3 03-01-2009, 04:10 AM

I'm still playing as much as I was prior to my getting married. I do have it easy do on a many counts - my wife is very a very understanding woman and understands my passion for music, she is also a musician and we get employed to perform together very often and music also provides a substantial contribution to our income.

I don't know it yet but I'm guessing that things might change quite drastically once we have children.

VisualShock · #4 03-01-2009, 04:19 AM

I'd suggest you invest, in the interest of lengthening your marriage :P

**pringlw** · #5 03-01-2009, 04:21 AM

It all depends obviously. Personally my wife doesn't give me a hard time with the time I spend (which in my case is pretty reasonable). She does give me a hard time when I spend money (ie: I'm now GAS impaired).

Margus Alviste · #6 03-01-2009, 04:22 AM

Whatever you do, never say to your wife how many pairs of shoes one can buy for the cost of your gear!!!

Vincent P · #7 03-01-2009, 04:31 AM

On your wedding night, even though you've never played it before; you'll be able to slap and pluck "Bum-Chica-Whaw-Whaw" on your bass. It's the oddes.thing.

Congratulations on getting married.

Crazyeelboy · #8 03-01-2009, 04:34 AM

Sleeq: it probably means less gigging, less practice time at home and less money to spend on GAS. Aside from that, nothing will change...

gillento · #9 03-01-2009, 04:44 AM

I am not married but I live with my girlfriend for 7 years.
Nothing in my playing or buying/selling/trading habits have changed.

I do not see how signing a piece of paper is supposed to change anything about that.

I think, a lot of people have rather "strange" ideas about marriage changing (or supposed to change) a relationship.

(I hope this does not offend people. I am not a native English speaker.)

Jazzbassman23 · #10 03-01-2009, 04:45 AM

I've been happily married for 28 years, so take this advice for what it's worth. I can't tell you how many times I've read posters say they'd put a bass on layaway or as soon as their paycheck cleared they were going to buy a bass. Clearly, they really couldn't afford the bass. My advice is to act responsibly which unfortunately translates to "forget buying any bass gear for awhile." Unless you're already well established in your career and have already put away a couple of hundred grand (yes, I'm serious), you need to focus on establishing yourself and your wife financially. That said, whether she hassles you about playing is going to be up to her. The guitarist I play with always mentions "The Boat Rule." If you have the boat when you get married, you get to keep the boat. Of course, when he reached a point in his marriage where money was tight, he sold his Strat (his only guitar at the time) to help make ends meet. Good luck with your marriage, and I hope I haven't been too much of a downer.

qroon · #11 03-01-2009, 04:53 AM

I got more gear when I got married

pedroims · #12 03-01-2009, 04:53 AM

The big change is the money, you will need to invest the money in your wife / house. Another big change in your life will be kids, they are lovely but demand all of your time, they are also really expensive. However you will be able to keep your passion for playing bass, just never let your wife feel that your love for bass is higher than for her

mothmonsterman · #13 03-01-2009, 04:54 AM

tell you the truth, nothing really changed. With my musical habits or anything else I just have a ring on my finger I have to take off before playing.
We had already been happily together for 10 years and lived and worked together for 5, so we have a pretty good understanding of where each other stand on things.
Sure I don;t spend as much money on gear but that's the nature of the beast.

4-Stringer · #14 03-01-2009, 04:56 AM

After 20 years with my wife and a birds eye view on live itself an marriages of friends, I can tell you one thing:

If your wife limits you in the things you like to do (or you your wife), your marriage will fail. Being married does NOT mean to abandon your life, your friends or your hobbies. Forcing a spouse to do this will kill everything and end in a (mostly pretty nasty) divorce.

However, you need to find a way to share and to pay respect. You might have to do a little less of what you like and so has your wife. In exchange for that, you'll win new things in doing them together with your wife. It's a game of give and take, not of surrender and loss.

I never discuss the "buying shoes thing" with my wife and she does not interfere with my GAS. All are happy

mothmonsterman · #15 03-01-2009, 05:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4-Stringer

After 20 years with my wife and a birds eye view on live itself an marriages of friends, I can tell you one thing:

If your wife limits you in the things you like to do (or you your wife), your marriage will fail. Being married does NOT mean to abandon your life, your friends or your hobbies. Forcing a spouse to do this will kill everything and end in a (mostly pretty nasty) divorce.

However, you need to find a way to share and to pay respect. You might have to do a little less of what you like and so has your wife. In exchange for that, you'll win new things in doing them together with your wife. It's a game of give and take, not of surrender and loss.

I never discuss the "buying shoes thing" with my wife and she does not interfere with my GAS. All are happy

+1

mike1762 · #16 03-01-2009, 05:06 AM

My wife never gives me a hard time about my GAS, but I have to reciprocate by saying nothing about the endless parade of shoes and purses. We just look at each other and think "Why in the hell do you want more than 1 bass/purse/pair of shoes"? Regarding playing out: she was INSANELY jealous when we first got married and wanted me to stay home and do the "husband" thing. It's now 20 years later and she realizes how ugly I am. Now she wishes I would get out of the house more!!! Good luck with your upcoming nuptials.
__________________

Brian7StringNY · #17 03-01-2009, 05:08 AM

Congratulations! It depends on the woman you are dedicating your life to. I can't speak for everyone but I found my life-mate while auditioning for a band. She was there as a friend of a friend. She plays piano and flute so she knows music. Make sure she knows everything, and I mean everything up front about your musical goals. No surprises means no surprises. We have three children, one 18 months old, and I am still able to participate in two separate musical projects, go to college and play the stay at home dad thing...
On the other hand I have friends who have to battle relentlessly to get out and play in just one band. Some women want all the attention. But each situation is unique. I say share each others needs and let her know that music is a part of your life...my partner(not married because we are atheists) of 14 years understands that if I can not create or play music my attitude drops and I am not the same person. I have had to sell basses, of course you need to monitor the budget, I wanted to get my kids an xbox so being a college student and musician, (meaning I make enough money to buy gas, a cup of coffee, and a bag of jerky on the way home from a gig);some give and take will always be there.
Did I get off track? Anyway my main point is truth, that's it truth. Make sure you both know what things in your lives need to remain constant but offer flexibility. I hope I was able to give some view on what may happen. But all in all I guess my playing time has actually increased as our relationship has matured and has not been influenced by time...also remember after the first 10 years there will be times she will WANT you to get out of the house...

Be happy

**DougD** · #18 03-01-2009, 05:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sleeq

For all you married people out there... what bass habits did you have to change/amend? Or nothing changed?

I want to be ready from to anticipate!

Cheers!

I've been married for 25 years. Yep, things are going to change, that's for sure

What changes? no one can say for sure. It's different for everybody. You will both have to meet in the middle somewhere if things are going to work out. Best wishes and good luck

RJC1811 · #19 03-01-2009, 05:30 AM

Before getting married you get all the Bass you want. Once you tie the knot, once maybe twice a week if you're lucky

sneha1965 · #20 03-01-2009, 05:33 AM

It depends on your wife. I've been married 2.5 years and in that time I've picked up a Lakland hollowbody, Rickenbacker 4003, Laravee D-60, Hofner Club and a Yamaha 6 string for her.