Getting through tough times..

J. Crawford · #1 10-13-2009, 04:36 PM

What do you guys do to get through hard times? I mean, Im not complaining, or throwing a pity party for myself, as people have many more problems than I, but life is kind of in a rut. Im not in any physical, or monetary danger, but mentally Im taking a hit.

My girlfriend just dumped me.
The girl she dumped me for is the same guy who sent me a message saying, "I was the biggest tool on the planet, and that I didnt deserve anything I have"
One of her best friends sent me a message of the same kind.
Now her, and a few of my close "friends" are on Facebook talking about me, as if I didnt notice.
I have been told I am a selfish, down talking idiot who would be best gone from everyone.
I honestly have no friends, as they are all falling into the clan of people who hate me.
I dont drink, or do drugs, and thats lost me friends. Im not "cool".

I have gone through some depressed times, but having to wake up and go to school where you know that everyone hates you and youre entirely alone is tough.. I mean, I dont think I do anything to deserve these things, but obviously I do..

I guess I just needed to get it out. I cant talk to any friends, and I havent spoken to my family yet, as they always overreact.

It feels good to get out whats in my head, but it still sucks..

Sorry to waste your time with the read.

SchecterC4 · #2 10-13-2009, 04:47 PM

Been there, dude. Being depressed sucks and it has had a huge impact on my life for months at a time. I went to a therapist and found that being able to take advice from an impartial 3rd party, in conjunction with a lot of music, helped a lot.

If your friends don't want to help you, screw them and find new friends. I learned the hard way that you can't wait around for people to change. People come and go, and it sounds like you're in a transitional point in your life where finding a new clique might do you some good.

Don't worry about not drinking or doing drugs, either, man. I used to catch a LOT of flak for not doing either as well and eventually it all becomes a bunch of incoherent mouth waving. Because I've been so adamant in my beliefs for such a long time, some people have been really supportive and think it's cool that I don't do that crap. I know it's cliche as all hell, but don't change who you are because people don't like who you are. We are not sheep (well.. some of us aren't anyways).

J. Crawford · #3 10-13-2009, 04:51 PM

Thanks man, its good to know someone has shared the experience.

And its really only school. I mean, I have an awesome family, awesome gear, and a band that is actually going places.

But knowing that thats really all sucks.. Those 3 things are awesome, but having to endure the stress of that crap all the time is tough..

tplyons · #4 10-13-2009, 04:52 PM

Been there, done that... it's called high school.

Honestly, you're better off. To this day I have only a few friends, but they're the greatest, most loyal people I've ever met.

I don't drink much, I don't party, and I'm in bed by 10 every night. 11 is a late night if I have to work the next day. But this is what's going to allow me to succeed in life. Not being popular. Be friendly, but don't get caught up trying to be everyone's friend. You've got to live your life for you first and foremost, and then your family and friends.

If you ever need to chat, send me a PM. I've been in those ruts several times, but it works out in the end.

SchecterC4 · #5 10-13-2009, 04:54 PM

I hear you, brother. Been there, done that and got kicked out for selling ice water. Gotta keep your head up and hold on to what is good. Plow through and it will get better.

username n/a · #6 10-13-2009, 04:56 PM

It's High School. It's supposed to make you hate the word and feel like ****. Just start counting the days until it's over.

Tim Cole · #7 10-13-2009, 05:00 PM

+

J. Crawford · #8 10-13-2009, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tplyons

Been there, done that... it's called high school.

Honestly, you're better off. To this day I have only a few friends, but they're the greatest, most loyal people I've ever met.

I don't drink much, I don't party, and I'm in bed by 10 every night. 11 is a late night if I have to work the next day. But this is what's going to allow me to succeed in life. Not being popular. Be friendly, but don't get caught up trying to be everyone's friend. You've got to live your life for you first and foremost, and then your family and friends.

If you ever need to chat, send me a PM. I've been in those ruts several times, but it works out in the end.

If I ever need to chat, Ill be sure to hit you up! Thanks for the opportunity man.. ITs good to know TB cares.

Quote:

Originally Posted by username n/a

It's High School. It's supposed to make you hate the word and feel like ****. Just start counting the days until it's over.

Yeah, I can tell. Youre a current victim too, Im sure you know the pain.

username n/a · #9 10-13-2009, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J. Crawford

Yeah, I can tell. Youre a current victim too, Im sure you know the pain.

You know, it's gotten a lot better. Now I only get called a fag about 3 or 4 times a week.

MatticusMania · #10 10-13-2009, 05:08 PM

Oh man, how many times was I called a fag in high school? How many days are people in high school for? I didnt even know I was into guys then...

I got picked on a lot in High School, mostly by insecure guys who don't know who they are. I see them all the time working at gas stations these days.

Don't worry, these things pass, and then other crappy things replace them.

Darkstrike · #11 10-13-2009, 05:12 PM

Everyone goes through dark days.

It sucks, but there is really nothing that can be done, just keep on moving and looking to tomorrow.

And most of all, and the hardest bit, look like you're having the time of your life, just to mind**** them.

Indiana Mike · #12 10-13-2009, 05:14 PM

You'll look back at this later in life and realize how much it changes. Mature people don't act this way.

Hang in there and DON"T play the game. Yes, what they are doing is a game.

Is it easy? No it it isn't .Do not drift into drugs and alcohol to be apart of anything.

As far as girls , there are so many of them out there it's ridiculous. You'll meet more.

Forgive them , there is a reason it's so important . Grief , anger and vengeance are your worst mental enemy . Forgiveness frees you like non other.

and finally ....

STAY OF THE FACE BOOK PAGE YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!
When I was going thru my divorce my ex posted all kinds of ****, looking at it made me want to die . Not looking at it made me forget about it rather quickly and allowed me to move on much faster. Believe me , at the time I thought my condition was permanent . it wasn't .

J. Crawford · #13 10-13-2009, 05:24 PM

Thanks guys.. Im going to talk to my mom tonight. In all honesty, I have never spoken to anyone about this kind of stuff.. I mean, usually I handle it in my head and it works itself out. That, or I just move on, but seeing I have been doing that for over 2 years, Im just tired.. Stress takes its toll on a 16 year old. And with the band, my 4.0 to maintain, and college coming faster and faster, it stacks up..

I thank you guys though. I do, from the bottom of my heart. Its just good to talk about it.

tplyons · #14 10-13-2009, 05:30 PM

And another thing that really helped me out... volunteer work. Really put my life in prospective how fortunate I was. Some time in a soup kitchen may do you some good.

It's not entirely selfless, but sometimes helping others helps you too.

kingpin2512 · #15 10-13-2009, 05:37 PM

I know what its like because I happen to be there now. I've been picked on and really just laugh at them. It gets them upset cause you don't care. Also try to find a group of friends that like you for who you are and that will stand up for you.

**MAJOR METAL** · #16 10-13-2009, 05:42 PM

Being around the company of good friends, taking the time to step back and focus on whats going on in your head is cool. If it persists go to Dr. and maybe he can hook you up with some Zoloft.

Grizzly700 · #17 10-13-2009, 05:50 PM

Find a clique. You may think you are the only one getting made fun of, trying to maintain a 4.0, and staying away from drugs, but I assure you that you are not. Find some friends, there is safety in numbers. I know this for sure because I am also getting made fun of, trying to maintain a 4.0, and staying away from drugs. There are people that are mean to me but I always have my friends to help back me up, and I do the same for them.

J. Crawford · #18 10-13-2009, 05:53 PM

In all honestly Grizzly, and to the others who have said the clique technique.. It doesnt work.

There are three groups!
1. Athletes.
2. Emos/creepers
3. Kids who drink, fail, and make Pamela Anderson look like a saint.

Or a combo of the three. The kids I was friends with were really it, and theyre fading away day by day..

TrooperFarva · #19 10-13-2009, 05:55 PM

The solution here is really very simple. Spread a rumor that you broke up with her because you found out she cheated on you and got herpes in the process.

Rumors spread ridiculously fast in high school, and are nearly always taken as fact.

Ziltoid · #20 10-13-2009, 05:57 PM

I've been there, College changes a lot of things for sure, it gets way better, it's not perfect but most of the rubbish won't be there.

The four best advices I could give ya is to

1) Stop caring about them or being social ( It's harder then it sounds but if they don't get any satisfaction/see results trying to ruin you, they'll stop)

2)The second is pretty much the same thing, but don't try to over-do things, they obviously are not worth you trying to fix it, the harder you'll try to "be friend, or be ok" the harder they'll hit you, you don't want that.

3) Get deeper into stuff you like, ie: bass, painting, pool or anything or even school stuff! The busier you get the less you'll worry about those arseholes, and heck you could become super badass at bass!

4)Try to figure out who your true friends are, most often it's not the one you would of thought, they might be social rejects to, don't over look them or w/e. Once you know who are your true friends, F*** the others...

edit: So if you over-simplify my way fo seeing things it gives: