Got Sober

[tastybasslines]

Haven't posted in a very long time..after getting banned for being a jerk late last year.

In short, I was drinking over a bottle of hard alcohol a day and my life was out of control. It's the main reason I posted a desperate, suicidal message a while back. I was completely miserable and acted the victim for a long time.

I went to rehab (here now) and am now 95 days sober (they say if you don't count, you don't care). I feel fantastic! I go to groups here, get therapy, have a counselor and have alot of support and love. In addition, I have dropped 35 pounds due to not binging anymore and have alot to be thankful for. I can't believe I went on like that for so long.

Since I've been sober, I've been able to reconnect with my wife and daughter, and will be moving back in with them when I am done here. She is proud of me, and it's a much better form of attention. I had to admit that I was deficient in many areas and have been doing alot of personal work and growth. It's been great. At this rehab, it's not just about quitting, but learning to how to live a good quality of life and I'll be working on learning and growing for a while and am not going to rush it.

Getting sober is the best thing I've ever done for myself, and I'm honestly not missing it, except when I'm done I'll miss that glass of red wine with a nice steak type of thing. Focus has returned, and that also means I've been practicing alot (of course I brought my bass here). I can appreciate life again.

I want to publicly apologize to Jmattbassplaya, whom I trolled in frequent drunken episodes. You did not deserve that.

If anyone feels bad about their drinking, get help, it will be the best thing you have ever done.

[colcifer]

It's good to hear from you. *virtual bro-hug*

[LiquidMidnight]

That's awesome!

[Derek Balonek]

Good to hear. Addiction is a tough battle. It's one you can, and will, win though.

[tastybasslines]

@colcifier - thanks man

Vincent, it definitely is...I feel dedicated now, but the longer I go, the greater the challange will be. People relapse in here and one guy went out and died of an OD so far after bailing here to go use.

I used to believe that the war on drugs was useless, but after seeing the pain and hurt that people go through here because of them, I've changed my mind in a big way.

[MAJOR METAL]

Well done, congrats and hugs!!!

[LB75Player]

That is great to hear man. I don't know you and I didn't see any of the "trolling" posts your mentioned but I would gladly sit and have a cup of coffee with you just based on the lessons you've learned.

Stay strong man and keep getting better.

[jmattbassplaya]

I appreciate it, man. I honestly wish you nothing but the best

[bassfart]

Nice work man, keep going, and remember, if you go back drinking you know exactly what you are going to get. You stay sober, and there is a whole world of surprises out there waiting for you.

[shackled]

Good work! It's a daily battle for me.

[waleross]

Wish you all the best.........................

[bassybill]

Good work, stay strong. I think the secret is to NEVER think that you have it beat and always be on your guard. I saw two of my best friends die from alcoholism in recent years. It's a frightening drug.

[Floyd Eye]

That's great news indeed TBL. I am a little concerned though. I mean it's fantastic that you have reconnected with your daughter for sure, but I remember a thread a year or so ago that you made about your wife. Are you sure THAT aspect of it is wise bro? Just asking, not judging.

[RED J]

Me too. Best wishes one day at a time.

[1958Bassman]

Originally Posted by tastybasslines

@colcifier - thanks man

Vincent, it definitely is...I feel dedicated now, but the longer I go, the greater the challange will be. People relapse in here and one guy went out and died of an OD so far after bailing here to go use.

I used to believe that the war on drugs was useless, but after seeing the pain and hurt that people go through here because of them, I've changed my mind in a big way.

Good for you! The hard part is seeing the need to stop and, while I always said I didn't drink to avoid anything and that I was a "social drinker", I was just lying to myself. The odd thing is, when things would go bad, I drank less and when the shyte hit the fan, I wouldn't drink at all, starting again when "the good times" returned. To be honest, I had some really good times during that long period but I stopped for several reasons- I found that I was having really bad hangovers, I wasn't sleeping well, I often felt like crap and I sometimes became abusive. Also, I just got tired of going out with people whose main focus for the night was drinking. The hangovers led to a day that was completely wasted because I didn't feel like doing anything, I was pissing away a lot of money and I figured that it was just a matter of time before I would be nailed with a DUI, or worse. One of the people I used to hang out with was asked if he wanted a drink and he said, "Sure- I still have room". He was always the first to nod off and has told me that he can't see a time in his life when he won't drink but doesn't think he has a problem, even after two DUIs. He just doesn't drive when he drinks, so "it's OK".

I don't miss it. I got to the point where I don't like being drunk and had started to taper off by having a few drinks, then switching to soft drinks for the rest of the night. Needless to say, I ended up being the driver but the problem I have always had is that I hate being around drunk people when I was sober and that keeps me out of the bars, still. I stopped actively drinking a few years ago and only drink wine during holidays- never more than 1 or 2 glasses.

I'd like a do-over for all the years of stupidity- the time I wasted drinking, the days wasted with hangovers, the money pissed away, the bad decisions made while drunk/the next day and the loss of motivation made me feel really bad about myself, which perpetuated the cycle.

As they used to say on the TV show 'Night Court', "But I'm feeling MUCH better, now".

Stay with it. I liked to party and seemed to have a capacity for doing it for long periods but have completely changed my views. IMO, NOBODY is at their best when they drink or do drugs. The alcohol or drugs may mask insecurities or issues, but it's not a permanent solution to anything unless death will solve it.

Edited to add:

when I was drinking, I never would have A) responded to this thread and B), never would have written what I did in my original post. I have absolutely no desire to drink and can go to a bar with no problem, although the first few times I did, a couple of years ago, it was a bit odd-feeling. What I saw there, made me see exactly how much of a waste it is. This place had people in their 20's through 80's, getting ****-faced. Some would get there before the place even opened and stay most of the day. Some would get there later and close it. Some would have a few, leave, come back, leave, etc. Most of them are nice people but I couldn't believe how many looked like they were already drunk when they got there.

[Staccato]

Wow, that is fantastic! I also like the part about "good quality of life."

[thumpbass1]

Congrats, and I wish you the best in your new found sobriety. It's a tough battle for sure.

[HeavyDuty]

Welcome back!

[stratovani]

Congratulations! I'm glad to hear it. Now I know that tobacco and alcohol are two different things with two different results, but for myself it's been six years since I beat my tobacco addiction, and I can sympathize with what you're going through. Stay strong and focused, and you'll beat that addiction monster in your head once and for all.

[Ziltoid]

Congratulations man, it wasn't easy but you did the right thing. I wish you an happy, sober life and all the best