Got Sober

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High Five!!

[Eric Perry]

Originally Posted by bassybill

Good work, stay strong. I think the secret is to NEVER think that you have it beat and always be on your guard....

This. I've worked directly with people addicted to random substances, and the single biggest factor leading to relapse is thinking you've shaken your demon(s).

[tastybasslines]

Thanks Hover. The best thing I ever did.

[MatticusMania]

Congrats, tasty!

[DwaynieAD]

If this was facebook I'd give the OP a like.

[mrpackerguy]

Originally Posted by tastybasslines

Haven't posted in a very long time..after getting banned for being a jerk late last year.

In short, I was drinking over a bottle of hard alcohol a day and my life was out of control. It's the main reason I posted a desperate, suicidal message a while back. I was completely miserable and acted the victim for a long time.

I went to rehab (here now) and am now 95 days sober (they say if you don't count, you don't care). I feel fantastic! I go to groups here, get therapy, have a counselor and have alot of support and love. In addition, I have dropped 35 pounds due to not binging anymore and have alot to be thankful for. I can't believe I went on like that for so long.

Since I've been sober, I've been able to reconnect with my wife and daughter, and will be moving back in with them when I am done here. She is proud of me, and it's a much better form of attention. I had to admit that I was deficient in many areas and have been doing alot of personal work and growth. It's been great. At this rehab, it's not just about quitting, but learning to how to live a good quality of life and I'll be working on learning and growing for a while and am not going to rush it.

Getting sober is the best thing I've ever done for myself, and I'm honestly not missing it, except when I'm done I'll miss that glass of red wine with a nice steak type of thing. Focus has returned, and that also means I've been practicing alot (of course I brought my bass here). I can appreciate life again.

I want to publicly apologize to Jmattbassplaya, whom I trolled in frequent drunken episodes. You did not deserve that.

If anyone feels bad about their drinking, get help, it will be the best thing you have ever done.

Best wishes on the road to recovery

[MarkMgibson]

Congratulations.

[slobake]

Good job Tasty.Yup it's a day at a time still for me after 31 years. It's serious but it's not grim, I have more fun now than when I was drinking and using.

[EricF]

Congrats, Tasty!!

[Clark Dark]

Congrats to you. For your decision to deal with an addiction that some think can be easily dealt with. It's a battle to fight alcoholism and sometimes requires a hospital stay to withdraw over time. Unlike hard drugs you cannot simply "cold turkey" alcoholism. And congrats to the reunion with your family. Have a great holiday season and continued success.

[tastybasslines]

Originally Posted by Clark Dark

It's a battle to fight alcoholism and sometimes requires a hospital stay to withdraw over time. Unlike hard drugs you cannot simply "cold turkey" alcoholism.

You would have thought so...but I did. I'm surprised I didn't have any medical issues. I was drinking a bottle of vodka every day at the end. Some guy at rehab who was drinking half of what I was drinking daily, had withdrawal seizures. I was very fortunate.

[slobake]

Originally Posted by tastybasslines

You would have thought so...but I did. I'm surprised I didn't have any medical issues. I was drinking a bottle of vodka every day at the end. Some guy at rehab who was drinking half of what I was drinking daily, had withdrawal seizures. I was very fortunate.

I did went cold turkey too. Three days without sleeping, sick as a bacteria with the flu and wanting to crawl out of my own skin. The first night I slept was heaven. Later I saw someone die from a gran mal siezure while withdrawing.

[pbasswil]

Originally Posted by tastybasslines

...
I went to rehab (here now) and am now 95 days sober (they say if you don't count, you don't care). I feel fantastic! I go to groups here, get therapy, have a counselor and have alot of support and love. In addition, I have dropped 35 pounds due to not binging anymore and have alot to be thankful for. I can't believe I went on like that for so long.

Since I've been sober, I've been able to reconnect with my wife and daughter, and will be moving back in with them when I am done here. She is proud of me, and it's a much better form of attention. I had to admit that I was deficient in many areas and have been doing alot of personal work and growth. It's been great. At this rehab, it's not just about quitting, but learning to how to live a good quality of life and I'll be working on learning and growing for a while and am not going to rush it.

Getting sober is the best thing I've ever done for myself, and I'm honestly not missing it, ...

I'm so happy for you, all my sincere best wishes.

I hope I'm not a jerk for putting in a note of caution:

The thing that makes me cautious is that the picture you paint of your new sobriety is so sunny.
I'd like to put in a good word for cloudy days!

Here's what I mean:

Compulsive people (like us) tend to see in black or white. We're idealists; and when our reality strays from the ideal, we blame ourselves.
Our normal, human averageness seems unacceptable, when compared to our dreams and ecstatic experiences.

That self-blame is a burden that we want to escape. When we first discover booze/drugs, it feels like we've succeeded, -- we've found a way to avoid our mediocrity, and live only in the sunny highs.

When we're using/drinking, we're dissociating from our normal, human, everyday mood range -- which includes all the grays, as well as sunny periods.

So true sobriety includes reconnecting with the grays.
Until we can have more average days, without being repelled by our own averageness, we'll always be in danger of fleeing back to chemical ecstasy.

I'm just saying: The trip to sobriety can't be a substitute glory, to replace the artificial glory we're trying to leave behind.
We have to get comfy within our oh-so-human non-glory. Being within the normal mood range is not a "fault".

Even gray days can contain viable hopes and dreams. Cuz even us average humans have the divine spark in us! It just can't be dazzling all the time.

[Ziltoid]

Congrats tasty!

[slobake]

Originally Posted by pbasswil

I'm so happy for you, all my sincere best wishes.

I hope I'm not a jerk for putting in a note of caution:

The thing that makes me cautious is that the picture you paint of your new sobriety is so sunny.
I'd like to put in a good word for cloudy days!

Here's what I mean:

Compulsive people (like us) tend to see in black or white. We're idealists; and when our reality strays from the ideal, we blame ourselves.
Our normal, human averageness seems unacceptable, when compared to our dreams and ecstatic experiences.

That self-blame is a burden that we want to escape. When we first discover booze/drugs, it feels like we've succeeded, -- we've found a way to avoid our mediocrity, and live only in the sunny highs.

When we're using/drinking, we're dissociating from our normal, human, everyday mood range -- which includes all the grays, as well as sunny periods.

So true sobriety includes reconnecting with the grays.
Until we can have more average days, without being repelled by our own averageness, we'll always be in danger of fleeing back to chemical ecstasy.

I'm just saying: The trip to sobriety can't be a substitute glory, to replace the artificial glory we're trying to leave behind.
We have to get comfy within our oh-so-human non-glory. Being within the normal mood range is not a "fault".

Even gray days can contain viable hopes and dreams. Cuz even us average humans have the divine spark in us! It just can't be dazzling all the time.

Good point, there are days when things are worse than grey. Music doen't help, my faith doesn't help nothing helps. On those days I just man up, admit I am struggling and know that it will pass. It makes the good days seem so much better.

[tastybasslines]

Originally Posted by slobake

I did went cold turkey too. Three days without sleeping, sick as a bacteria with the flu and wanting to crawl out of my own skin. The first night I slept was heaven. Later I saw someone die from a gran mal siezure while withdrawing.

Yeah, this disease is no joke. When I was drinking, my insanity reached such a level that I was convinced that *THIS* very next drink was the one that was finally going to destroy my liver. And yet, still drank it anyway.

In retrospect, I almost believe that it didn't happen to me because I mixed my drinks and never really drank alcohol straight. I realize this makes little sense, but there is no explanation I can think of other than this that explains that nothing happened to me with the amount of alcohol I drank.

That's not to say there might not be any problems ahead though. Fingers crossed.

[tastybasslines]

Originally Posted by pbasswil

I'm so happy for you, all my sincere best wishes.

I hope I'm not a jerk for putting in a note of caution:

The thing that makes me cautious is that the picture you paint of your new sobriety is so sunny.
I'd like to put in a good word for cloudy days!

Here's what I mean:

Compulsive people (like us) tend to see in black or white. We're idealists; and when our reality strays from the ideal, we blame ourselves.
Our normal, human averageness seems unacceptable, when compared to our dreams and ecstatic experiences.

That self-blame is a burden that we want to escape. When we first discover booze/drugs, it feels like we've succeeded, -- we've found a way to avoid our mediocrity, and live only in the sunny highs.

When we're using/drinking, we're dissociating from our normal, human, everyday mood range -- which includes all the grays, as well as sunny periods.

So true sobriety includes reconnecting with the grays.
Until we can have more average days, without being repelled by our own averageness, we'll always be in danger of fleeing back to chemical ecstasy.

I'm just saying: The trip to sobriety can't be a substitute glory, to replace the artificial glory we're trying to leave behind.
We have to get comfy within our oh-so-human non-glory. Being within the normal mood range is not a "fault".

Even gray days can contain viable hopes and dreams. Cuz even us average humans have the divine spark in us! It just can't be dazzling all the time.

Thanks for posting that. Just last Tuesday, I had the worst day of sobriety so far. I just could not get out of my head after an argument early in the morning. I was miserable all day. Usually I can catch it, but this day it got to me. I'm sure you know how that feels.

I guess that on this day of reflection for me, I was comparing how I feel today, versus the too graphic to post here bottom and misery I was feeling. I know there will continue to be bad days, and I'm ok with that. I still go to therapy, and meeting, and stay in active touch with my sponsor.

In a meeting last night, a guy rushed in and interrupted the group. His hands were visibly shaking, and he told us that he needed to share or else he was going to drink tonight. We let him. He thanked us and left. He needed to rush back out because his daughters were in the car. A good reminder of what you speak of.

I don't ever want to forget the misery I came from, or else I might go back.

[elgecko]

Cool, but do you still look like Rodney Dangerfield with double vision?

[tastybasslines]

Originally Posted by elgecko

Cool, but do you still look like Rodney Dangerfield with double vision?

LOL. I'm gonna get my supporting membership back. Plus I have a few basses to sell

I tell ya, my wife said she's afraid of the dark, then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light!

[slobake]

Originally Posted by tastybasslines

LOL. I'm gonna get my supporting membership back. Plus I have a few basses to sell

I tell ya, my wife said she's afraid of the dark, then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light!

Im tellin' ya it's terrible. The other day my doctor told me I only had a month to live. Is said "I want a second opinion." He said "Okay, you're ugly too."