Have any of you younger guys ever been obsessed with a girl you once knew?

Seb_VitusFreak · #1 05-10-2010, 11:45 PM

I had been obsessed with two girls I knew from high school in 11th Grade. I would fantasize about them all the time I was at home from school. They would start out as seemingly harmless crushes, which soon devolved into sexual obsessions on my part. One of them stopped talking to me one night on msn, before the obsession with her happened, and we never made contact again (after this is when I started obsessing). Another one didn't approve of my behavior on Facebook, and after a very short friendship, she blocked me (probably thinks I am a stalker). Hence, the reason I now de-activated my FB account for good (I had a hard time stopping my obsession with her, it went on for a good 4 years, including grade 12+ and first year of college). And yes, I used to be an avid watcher of pornography (thank peer pressure), but I quit that cold turkey a long while ago.

I am honestly NOT a nutcase, but I really would like some male advice on the matter. Sorry for the long post.

Number27 · #2 05-10-2010, 11:48 PM

i don't understand... what kind of advice are you looking for?

also, what exactly was this "behavior" that you demonstrated on facebook that this girl disapproved of?

Seb_VitusFreak · #3 05-11-2010, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Number27

i don't understand... what kind of advice are you looking for?

also, what exactly was this "behavior" that you demonstrated on facebook that this girl disapproved of?

1) The advice I am looking for is on how to talk to women more easily in the real world, as I am shy\introverted and socially awkward, hence the desire to be around people and with people, and hence the obsessions.

2) I just made a few playful (in my mind) comments on her photos, nothing that I would consider rude.

Yeah, I am pretty pathetic when it comes to women.

A-Step-Towards · #4 05-11-2010, 12:28 AM

Obviously they noticed your obsession because they blocked/avoided contact with you so your advances and the way you displayed yourself obviously showed this. As you said you’re introverted so instead of trying to date them etc you basically had this fantasy about them and although I do not know what this was like maybe you felt with them in your mind. You did not start obsessing until they basically avoided you.

I am a person on the internet but from what you said I don’t see you as a nut case but I recommend professional help, this is not healthy. Imagine if one did date you and after having a sexual and long relationship dumped you? If you’re obsessed with nearly a stranger imagine the affect of being truly in love with them could have on you. The examples you have provided make me think in this scenario you could go over the age.

My ex girlfriends father had some of these same qualities, her mother left him. He became obsessed with her after she was gone , eventually found her and shot her and himself both in front of their kids, I suggest talking to a professional.

A-Step-Towards · #5 05-11-2010, 12:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seb_VitusFreak

1) The advice I am looking for is on how to talk to women more easily in the real world, as I am shy\introverted and socially awkward, hence the desire to be around people and with people, and hence the obsessions.

2) I just made a few playful (in my mind) comments on her photos, nothing that I would consider rude.
Yeah, I am pretty pathetic when it comes to women.

This can very from person to person , if someone left me a comment that said i am going to kill you i would laugh some people would call the cops, it all varies how each person takes something.

jonathan_matos5 · #6 05-11-2010, 01:11 AM

watch this video, it is good advice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYLMTvxOaeE

i obsessed about a ex for a while but hasn't everyone?

there is a fine line between flirting and stalking. learn to walk it.

also if you are always a loner then you will never get a gf.

chrisisnotevil · #7 05-11-2010, 01:27 AM

Try talking to any and all girls as much as possible about stuff, anthing and everything non-sexual. They're people too you know! You need to view them as such, not as sex objects put there for your gratification. Laying off the porn will help, as will spending less, um, time alone with yourself, if you get my meaning!

Joey3313 · #8 05-11-2010, 02:22 AM

Pfft, obvious troll is obvious.

CrispyDelicious · #9 05-11-2010, 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joey3313

Pfft, obvious troll is obvious.

Agreed. Nobody quits porno.

**jmattbassplaya** · #10 05-11-2010, 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrispyDelicious

Agreed. Nobody quits porno.

LOL!

Relic · #11 05-11-2010, 08:44 AM

"Obsession" is a very very strong word dude. Not meaning to be insulting or derogatory in the least, I promise, but to be honest if you truly feel "obsessed", then there may be some more underlying issues that you may not be consciously aware of. Rather than assuming that this will all go away once you get out there and meet wimmenz, I would rather think that you should speak with a professional shrink about it, no? No shame in that, especially if it might help you overcome your shyness/introversion as well as the obsessions. win/win

Jools4001 · #12 05-11-2010, 09:01 AM

Yeah, that 'obsession' is a strong word.

I can sort of empathise because at the age of 11 I left my primary school, which had an equal mix of girls and boys, and went to an all boys Grammar school. I wasn't back into a mixed class again until I went to College at 18. So, basically I went through puberty with no frame of reference for anything to do with girls and, more to the point, the pre-pubescent girls of my childhood had mostly grown into fine young women while I was away; so now I found myself stunned by how damned attractive women are (I'm glad to say that's still with me), but totally shy and tongue tied when it came to talking to them.

Unlike my peers who had been to mixed schools (where they learned that women are just people like the rest of us), I was shy and awkward around women for 2 or 3 years until I stopped putting girls I was attracted to on a pedestal or thinking of them as some sort of godess. Once I had learned to speak to women as equals, just about everyday subjects and engaging in normal conversation, the rest just fell into place.

sarcastro83 · #13 05-11-2010, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seb_VitusFreak

... I am honestly NOT a nutcase...

Making this statement is a textbook GUARANTEE that people will, in fact, perceive you to be a nutcase. My advice is to NEVER SAY THIS EVER AGAIN.

Best advice on how to talk to women and not be creepy while doing it? Don't talk to them for the sole reason that you believe that there may be some teeny, tiny chance that the end result will be hot, nasty pornosex. Chicks can smell that from a mile away. Lots of them HATE that. Sucks, I know!

Better yet, if you're into any activities, try to find some chicks who like those activities, too. That will help to break the ice.

Just relax and be yourself, dude. Try to keep the innocent comments to a minimum, especially when you don't really know the lady all that well. Things will fall into place if you just relax and be yourself.

Radical Edward · #14 05-11-2010, 09:04 AM

Though I am not a man.. I am quite obsessed with this girl I met in middle school. Mmm.. Short hair.. tiny.. pale... The cutest face... Oh,.. the things we did... and then she told me she loved me.. and when I didn't love her back she disappeared off of the face of the Earth. I miss her. She was a crazy bitch, but she was my crazy bitch.

hover · #15 05-11-2010, 09:21 AM

you may or may not be a nutcase, but it certainly sounds like you're a cyber stalker.

Relic · #16 05-11-2010, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikaela Ellinger

Though I am not a man.. I am quite obsessed with this girl I met in middle school. Mmm.. Short hair.. tiny.. pale... The cutest face... Oh,.. the things we did... and then she told me she loved me.. and when I didn't love her back she disappeared off of the face of the Earth. I miss her. She was a crazy bitch, but she was my crazy bitch.

OH GOOD SWEET JESUS!!!! YOU CANNOT POST SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND NOT INCLUDE PICS!!!!!!!!! THAT'S ENTIRELY EVIL!!

MatticusMania · #17 05-11-2010, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Relic

OH GOOD SWEET JESUS!!!! YOU CANNOT POST SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND NOT INCLUDE PICS!!!!!!!!! THAT'S ENTIRELY EVIL!!

Matt, youre requesting pics of a middle school aged girl. I know the rest of the story, minus that fact, is quite enticing, but, *Hunter S Thompson Voice* get a grip on yourself, man.

MatticusMania · #18 05-11-2010, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

get a grip on yourself, man.

But not like that

jonathan_matos5 · #19 05-11-2010, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

Matt, youre requesting pics of a middle school aged girl. I know the rest of the story, minus that fact, is quite enticing, but, *Hunter S Thompson Voice* get a grip on yourself, man.

+100000000000{a lot more 0's}

Relic · #20 05-11-2010, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

Matt, youre requesting pics of a middle school aged girl. I know the rest of the story, minus that fact, is quite enticing, but, *Hunter S Thompson Voice* get a grip on yourself, man.

She met her in middle school, I had images of two supple and mature 18+ year olds later engaging in wanton lustful she-abandon. Can you blame me!??
But yes, yes you are right, I retract that statement fully and completely if she was actually talking about middle-school aged peoples.