I've mentioned it before around here, but I work part-time as an intern with the Salt Lake crime lab as a crime-scene technician, and I get to do all of that CSI stuff you see on TV (except the TV shows are total lies). Anyway, I get to see all kinds of crazy stuff: dead people, blown-up/shot-up cars, lots of blood, etc. None of that stuff tops this crazy robbery I saw last week.
So I am in the lab, and get a call about a robbery on the south side of the city, and me and another guy get in the car and head out. (No, it's not a Hummer, it's a white minivan with a remote-control spotlight on top) We get to the crime scene, and the beat cop there explains to us what happened: The couple that owned the home was out of town for a couple days and somebody broke in the home and robbed them. Pretty normal sounding robbery.
Oh no. It was not. We opened the front door and the place was
trashed. Everything was destroyed or broken. That's not the crazy part though.
The thieves thought they were pretty funny, so they did a few things before they left:
1) They juiced the thermostat in the house so high, you could see the heat waves in there. It was like working in a sauna. I was soaked in sweat by the time I was done.
It gets better...
2) It stunk. Bad. It smelled like an outhouse- in a sauna. After combing through the house I found the problem. There was poo left in the toilet. A lot of poo. Like almost to the brim in poo. In fact, that's how we figured there had to be more than one robber. One man could not poo that much (maybe Maki
). They turned the water off at the back of the toilet too, so I had to reach under the poo-filled toilet to turn it back on, and try to flush it so I could work without gagging.
But wait, there's more...
3) They decided to raid the fridge and make themselves sandwiches before they left.
The best part is that we got 'em. One of the thieves decided to slice some cheese for his sandwich off a bock of cheese the homeowners had in their fridge. He was dumb enough to leave his hand print in the block of cheese. I took a mold of the hand print in the cheese and ran the prints through the fingerprint database. We got a match to a juvenile who was picked up a few days ago for a different robbery, and booked into DT, where they took his fingerprints. He squealed in all his buddies, and the homeowners ended up getting all their stuff back. the kids' trials are next week and I can't wait to tell this story to a judge and watch his face.
