A jazz musician friend of mine sent me a copy of a scam email he received. This thing was just hilarious enough that I had to share with the TB community. Without further ado:
Dear Friends, my name is Ndugood. I am a wealthy Nigerian prince who loves
the jazz of music. I am seeking your help to move $200,000,000 from my
checking account here in Nigeria to the United States . I too love the
jazz of music and am planning to flee to America to open many jazz clubs
at which I would like you to perform. You will receive $42,000 a night,
plus a meal. My new "Tribal Village Vanguard" clubs will be of great
success and you will become rich like the rest of American jazz musicians.
I have already applied for building code exemptions to allow thatched stages and
the spearing of live animals. But I desperately need your help. My tribe,
the Swindlisi, a peaceful jazz-loving people, has been horribly oppressed
by the ruling military junta, which despises the jazz of music. My
father, an exiled king and booking agent, was recently imprisoned under the
Draconian "three gigs you're out" law. And now I must flee my beloved country with
all of my improbable wealth. But I need help in moving it. I have so much
money that it will not fit in the allotted two checked bags and one
carry-on. I am therefore want to transfer the money through your ATM system. (The
Nigerian ATM system cannot exchange international currencies; it only
converts "antelope to money"). So please to just provide me with your full name and
address, social security number, bank account and PIN numbers. And you
will become incredibly (literally) rich from playing many jazz gigs. (Note:
normal Nigerian Musician's Union rules apply: three hour performances, two
15 minute breaks allowed, musicians to provide their own mosquito nets,
one open fire per bandstand, one free meal plus anything you kill). Act now.
The first ten musicians to respond will receive a free copy of the
Nigeria 's Greatest Jazz Hits CD, by our beloved 'Disoriented' Gillespie Band, which
contains the hits:
The Night Has A Thousand Flies
Goodbye Shrunken Head
Here's That Rainy Season
Just Tribesmen (Lovers No More)
Take the 'A' Trail
When I Fall In Quicksand
Half-Nelson Mandela
Blue Monkey
Leopard Skins and Moonbeams
Blue Mombossa
Almost Like Being In Lagos
Sunny Side of the Goatpath
I Didn't Know What Century It Was
Thank you for your many help. Your inordinately wealthy Nigerian brother,
Prince Ndugood
