How to deal with people?

[Axtman]

Let me confess. I am not a really good people person. It is not that I don't like people, It is more like I don't know what makes them tick. I am especially poor when it comes to difficult personalities or conflict situations.

Any advice would be appreciated.

[Jim Campbell]

Originally Posted by Axtman

Let me confess. I am not a really good people person. It is not that I don't like people, It is more like I don't know what makes them tick. I am especially poor when it comes to difficult personalities or conflict situations.

Any advice would be appreciated.

you probably never will.....my grand daddy used to say that the more he learned about people the better he liked horses

[geeza]

Can you be a little more specific? One thing I can tell you is this: It's hard to deal with people. It's easy to deal with a person.

[Bongolation]

Originally Posted by Axtman

Any advice would be appreciated.

Delegate whenever possible.

No, I'm not joking.

[IconBasser]

take a human communication class. enroll in a local junior college, or maybe just sit in, if they let you.

communication classes teach you so much about human interaction and the intricacies involved, I don't know why they aren't mandatory in high school curriculum.

[jmattbassplaya]

The more and more I`ve tried dealing with people, the more and more I realized that most people only care about themselves and what will put them on top of others. It`s unfortunately made me quite a cynic, but at least I now don`t get screwed over by other people.

[MakiSupaStar]

You will never figure people out. Just enjoy the pleasant situations that arise from it, and avoid the people that tend to create unpleasant situations.

[MatticusMania]

Study up on body language and tells and the such. Watch the way people play their bass. You can learn alot about people merely by observation. Watch the way people interact with each other.

I dont think there is any one thing that makes people tick. Everyone is different.

[Nyarlathotep]

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

You will never figure people out. Just enjoy the pleasant situations that arise from it, and avoid the people that tend to create unpleasant situations.

+1

[stratovani]

Maybe you're just naturally a loner. I know I am, and while I can handle people (well, most of the time!), I much prefer to keep my own company. Less hassles that way!

[Pilgrim]

The best advice I can give is - be honest. Just try to be diplomatic and don't be rude or brutal in what you say. If you're honest, you don't have to remember who you lied to - or what lie you told.

Doing this isn't easy, but at least you can maintain your integrity in doing it.

You can read about ways to handle conflict or disagreements. There's plenty of info out there.

[Rocker949]

I find one of the biggest differences is that between introverted and extroverted people. They just don't look at life the same way.

[HazBeen]

A wealth of good info here.

http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friend.../dp/0671723650

[James_B]

I'll recommend two books.

The first one is if you suffer a little social anxiety.

Goodbye to Shy: 85 Shybusters That Work! by Leil Lowndes

It's a simple, enjoyable read. It will help you get over your fear of people. The best "shybuster" really for me was, when going for a walk just saying hello to the old people. It helped me get over myself and honestly I think it makes the old people really happy.

For body language I would recommend:

Peoplewatching: The Desmond Morris Guide to Body Language by Desmond Morris.


It's just really cool to learn why people do the things they do.

Also take one of those personality test that have the 16 different personality types. It was accurate for me and if you understand yourself better you can understand others.

[jrthebassguy]

Be good to others and in turn they will be good to you. A little bit of empathy can go a long way.


That works for about 90% of people. The other 10% will be assholes to you no matter what you do. It's best to not let them get to you and shrug them off.

[Rocker949]

Originally Posted by jrthebassguy

Be good to others and in turn they will be good to you. A little bit of empathy can go a long way.


That works for about 90% of people. The other 10% will be assholes to you no matter what you do. It's best to not let them get to you and shrug them off.

The problem is I'd say the number is greater than 10%. Also, it may not be easy, for example, to shrug off people you work with, work for, or are around on an involuntary basis in general. However, being good to others really does go a long way. That does work much of the time. Plus, it's the right thing to do anyway.

[MJ5150]

Sit on a bench outside Westlake and people watch. I like the spot over by Sephora near the waterfall. Especially now that the Christmas shopping season is here. Another good people watching spot is the Caffe Ladro on Pine or Upper Queen Anne.

You can spend all day learning about people without even having to deal with them.

-Mike

[Munjibunga]

View the issue from their perspective. Act fairly regardless of whether it benefits you or them. Objectively assess whose needs are greater, and behave accordingly. Cut them some slack.

[flipper_gv]

Originally Posted by Jim Campbell

you probably never will.....my grand daddy used to say that the more he learned about people the better he liked horses

this is so siged!!!

[G00D+~VIBES]

See my sig.