how do you deal with negativity thrown your way from folks you don't know?

**john turner** · #1 10-24-2008, 02:30 PM

i lurk and browse a lot of bass forums - don't usually participate but i do like to read and just see what other forums are up to.

i often come across crap about my basses (and about me too) by folks that i don't even know, or know vaguely by them maybe participating here maybe, or having met them once at a namm show or whatever, and a lot of this stuff is really mean spirited and negative.

now, granted, it's no worse than anything you guys throw my way, but i know you do it lovingly.

not so other places. they're really just mean, and it really bothers me sometimes, to be honest.

so pass the hankies,

and tell me how you guys deal with that kind of thing, or would if it happened.

awakefie · #2 10-24-2008, 02:34 PM

I repeat over and over "Is it really going to matter tomorrow morning?" until the bloodlust goes away.

Joe Gress · #3 10-24-2008, 02:36 PM

Honestly? I ignore them all. I have a pretty short memory when it comes to insults, and I will forget what someone said of me five minutes after I saw/read/heard about it. I don't let things get to me.

jady · #4 10-24-2008, 02:36 PM

Make a comment that would get you an infraction point on another forum

Relic · #5 10-24-2008, 02:36 PM

I figure that if they were anyone who really actually mattered to me, then I may be ticked off a bit, maybe a little hurt or whatever but if it's someone I don't know, someone who doesn't know me, then what do I really care? I've got more important things to worry about. Opinions are like _____ everybody's got one. Except on internet forums where everyone has about 3

MatticusMania · #6 10-24-2008, 02:42 PM

You know, I notice on a LOT of forums that people tend to get negative real quick.

People are too busy either defending or pushing their agendas/points of view and it usually escalates to an internet argument, which we all know goes nowhere.

When people throw negativity or hate my way I brush it off. Just knowing that Im a better person than they are and don't have to resort to name calling and the like changes my attitude. I figure, what do they know?

They don't know you JT, therefore whatever negative things they have to say are rendered moot. People like to think theyre better than everyone else, but then they drop down to that low level that theyre supposedly better than. Just walk away knowing that youre better than them.

EricF · #7 10-24-2008, 02:46 PM

Simple. Stop going to other forums.

Baryonyx · #8 10-24-2008, 03:07 PM

John, you've got a family and a job that obviously allow you to have the basses you want (or really, to fund whatever pleasures you should chase in life, it seems yours are ERB's!).

Now ask yourself, are you happy with your lot? If you are, why bother getting upset with narrow minded trash talkers. They don't know you, and their insults are probably largely based in ignorance.

Really John, don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

If people who don't know me throw negativity my way, I laugh at them and forget about it. If people who do know me throw negativity my way, I laugh at them and forget about.

Croox · #9 10-24-2008, 03:09 PM

find out their personal information and post it in 4chan.

SuperDuck · #10 10-24-2008, 03:10 PM

“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” - Oscar Wilde

Thunderscreech · #11 10-24-2008, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Croox

find out their personal information and post it in 4chan.

A fate worse than death

Baryonyx · #12 10-24-2008, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thunderscreech

A fate worse than death

yeah, all the paedos on there will make life hell for them!

Croox · #13 10-24-2008, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris2112

yeah, all the paedos on there will make life hell for them!

next to the identity theft, draining of bank accounts spent on crazy ass porn, and have 100 anonymous guys out front protesting your existence, but that Forum system is the the biggest pile of crap in existence.

brothernewt · #14 10-24-2008, 03:20 PM

Post immediately after them. Not hostile or rude.. just a very short comment like "nice". They'll likely feel bad if they know you saw/heard what they said, you won't become more invested by arguing, and best off all they'll look like an ass in front of their forum members (or "friends" hoever they feel about it).

StyleOverShow · #15 10-24-2008, 03:22 PM

I think part of it is the anonymity of an internet forum. Faceless and without the peer pressure of a visual context, anyone can go off on anyone. Your detractors/tormentors might be pimply face teens who haven't had enough world experience to form a critical opinion yet, just sarcasm and attack.

I have been impressed by quite a few contributions on TB and not only about gear. The threads on "Whats the worst thing..." and "You know you are in a lame band" are among my all time favorites for online reading because they are raw and real. Its like a town hall meeting from around the world for people with a common affliction, playing bass.

I have been stung by a few responses to some threads I've started but have come to realize that there is a wide variety of life, professional, educational and frankly emotional experience represented here on TB.

Betcha' you play better than most of them too.

spade2you · #16 10-24-2008, 03:24 PM

eff 'em. I don't know why this seems to be an online bassist thing, but too many people form opinions on basses that they don't own and have never played.

A few weeks back, I was talking about my CB and some butt nugget HAD to note how producers prefer Fenders. Hmmmm, what does my CB sound like........between the Bartolini PJ pickups and pre (w/ p/p high/low mids) it sounds like MANY basses, Fender P and J basses being two of 'em.

When people speak of stuff where they have zero experience, it's ignorance, ain't it? Too bad too many people feed the ignorant trolls.

L-A · #17 10-24-2008, 03:25 PM

Well, of you and them, there's only one with noble feelings about your basses

Unrepresented · #18 10-24-2008, 04:28 PM

I try and stay away from internet tough guys. My experience with people of that sort is:

a) they live near me

b) they're tough guys in person

c) they have lots of real life friends

d) their opinion matters

e) they and their friends who live near me and are tough guys too will come beat me up and they'll tell all of my real life friends.

I try and steer wide enough away from that one again.

MatticusMania · #19 10-24-2008, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by john turner

i lurk and browse a lot of bass forums - don't usually participate but i do like to read and just see what other forums are up to.

i often come across crap about my basses (and about me too) by folks that i don't even know, or know vaguely by them maybe participating here maybe, or having met them once at a namm show or whatever, and a lot of this stuff is really mean spirited and negative.

now, granted, it's no worse than anything you guys throw my way, but i know you do it lovingly.

not so other places. they're really just mean, and it really bothers me sometimes, to be honest.

so pass the hankies,

and tell me how you guys deal with that kind of thing, or would if it happened.

Or you can be like that one German dude, find out where they live, fly oput there, and proceed to stab said offenders.

**john turner** · #20 10-24-2008, 04:40 PM

lol, great responses all, folks. thanks for the input.

and don't get me wrong, i'm not really all wilting and upset or anything - far from it. it's a shame that folks have to be the way they are, but i do admit i get a kick out of it. after all, nobody's talking about them by name lol.

the negative aspect of it bothers me - i don't ever try to paint myself as some kind of bass god or whatever - i know there's guys with miles more chops than me, a lot of em - i just do what i wanna do - but the fact that it's actually happening makes me feel kind of like a celebrity.