How important is a good engagement ring?

[faceface2012]

A question for both genders. Guys, do you feel the need to go all out and spend thousands on an engagement ring to please the girl? Ladies, does the ring or amount spend actually increase how much love you feel for your man? do you care about size of the ring?
spam portion deletedmarriage... It predicts bad things! I'm so confused now. So, what's your opinion?

[sandmangeck]

Have her pick out her own ring. Look at the cost of what she picks out. After buying said ring, save money and buy a bass of the same value.

[Balog]

If she's that shallow, dump her as fast as possible. Marriage is "for better or worse" and when worse comes (and it always does) a materialistic... umm, woman, such as she has shown herself to be will not stand by you. Get out and count yourself lucky she showed her lack of character at this early stage.

[Joey3313]

If she says that the engagement ring isn't big enough, it could be 1 of 2 things:
1) You're cheap, and coulda done better.
2) She's has entitlement issues and expectations that are unreasonable.

Of course, IMO. Personally, from a practical standpoint, the theory of a super expensive ring is a bit dated. I mean, I could see it being practical if it were actually a "once in a lifetime" purchase, but seeing as how that's only the case, what, like half the time? Seems a little silly...

That being said, we (and especially women) have been socialized in our culture to believe that the size of the rock and the price of the ring is equivalent to how much love one person has for another. Thus the practical purchase is gonna seem to her like "he doesn't love me enough!"

FYI, apparently the average cost of an engagement ring in the states is $2100 (although how accurate that number is could be debated...some loaded celeb is gonna mess up the curve pretty bad on that one).

Enjoy, champ, and bear in mind that the chance that I know what I'm talking about is slim.

[iamlowsound]

As a guy that just proposed last Saturday, I know how important the ring is to my fiance. Over the last year I was taking mental notes on what she liked and didn't like. I then designed a ring around what I knew she liked. What it showed her was that I put a lot of time and effort into it for her, it shows how much I care for her.

As for your situation, that ring is rather ugly and little. I can see why she didn't like it. A ring doesn't have to be extravigant, but it is something that she is going to be wearing for the rest of her life, so it should at least be something that she likes.

For the record, here is the ring I designed and had made.


lowsound

[warwick.hoy]

No,...I didn't feel the need to go out plunk 3 months pay on a ring,...but everyone is different.

My wife got my great grandmothers engagement and wedding rings and she absolutely cherishes them. They are approaching 100 years old and they fit her fingers without any sizing, which we took as a good omen. It also proves to me that she isn't a gold digger.

Cost to me $0. And I like the fact that there is a connection to family,...which is what getting married is about (among other things).,..

[Munjibunga]

Originally Posted by faceface2012

A question for both genders. Guys, do you feel the need to go all out and spend thousands on an engagement ring to please the girl? Ladies, does the ring or amount spend actually increase how much love you feel for your man? do you care about size of the ring?
I don't think size is an issue, as long as it fits your finger, right? But my gf don't think so. The other day, I bought this ring for her. Who knows, she said it not big enough. And she even implied the size is sort of matters.. If I don't get a good ring- then what does that say for the rest of the relationship or marriage... It predicts bad things! I'm so confused now. So, what's your opinion?

I'd say, "Let me have it back. I'll take care of it." Then she wouldn't get another one. When we were married 20 years, my wife got a bullum ol' ring because she deserved it and we had the money. Her engagement ring had a smaller diamond than the one you bought. The fact we were getting married was the important part.

You're not confused. You're seeing something you don't want to see, but you're seeing it.

[Balog]

Munji has excellent insight, even if I have no idea what the term "bullum ol' " means.

[HEIST]

Originally Posted by faceface2012

A question for both genders. Guys, do you feel the need to go all out and spend thousands on an engagement ring to please the girl? Ladies, does the ring or amount spend actually increase how much love you feel for your man? do you care about size of the ring?

Hey faceface.

"does the ring or amount spend actually increase how much love you feel for your man?" - Only if you're gold diggin'

I think what some women feel is: How awesome the ring is, is a representation of how much you love her. It never really is something that decreases or "increases their love for the man". I don't think the Amount is the issue as there are tiny diamonds worth more than some bigger diamonds (consider the 4 Cs). However, style and consideration plays a large role.

It's pretty popular these days for the guy (if he really knows her and knows her likes and dislikes) or the couple to design the rings like iamlowsound.

As far as jewellery goes, I am a jewellery person. I know what I like and what I don't like. Rarely do I find a piece of jewellery that I like. This extends past rings to earrings and necklaces/pendants. Everyone has their own preferences.

There are many bridal forums out there and you can get the gist of what and how women think. They ask themselves and their peers the exact same question. Majority if not all responded that the engagement ring should be what the man can comfortably afford and be happy to afford. No women (or men) want to start married life in debt.

Carat size...most, if not all (this is still the consensus after reading through like 12 pages of responses, you're welcome) prefers quality over mass. A lot of people ask "What is the average size?" And the answer is that it is dependent on where you live. New York city's average engagement ring size is bigger than those of small towns etc. so what some girls envision in their mind is something similar to what she has seen on her friend's fingers. Another thing I found is that most women are conscious about size and do not want one that is flashy nor one that is "too big for their hands".

I don't know where you're from or what the average size there is but over here it's about 0.75 - 1+ carats.

I think it's best to talk to her about it. Maybe she's feeling the same feeling as if you got her a hallmark card on her birthday instead of a thoughtful (doesn't have to be expensive) gift.

I hope this helps.

[Balog]

Ok, re-read the original post and just in case it was poorly communicated I'll be more specific. If you bought a ring without consulting her and she said "Zomg that's hideous, can I please have one that isn't ugly" that'd be... ok. A bit high maintenance, but acceptable. If you bought her a ring and her only objection was it didn't cost enough then **** her.

[elgecko]

You guys are being trolled by a spambot!

[HEIST]

Originally Posted by warwick.hoy

No,...I didn't feel the need to go out plunk 3 months pay on a ring,...but everyone is different.

3 months pay? I thought the DeBeers' attempt at creating frenzy was phrased at 2 months.

Either way, if a person wants to use this as a gauge: let's use 2 months on someone who makes $30,000 a year. That's $5000 on a ring. Whether you think that is a lot or not for a diamond ring, there are MANY amazing rings out there between the price range of $449 - $5000.

What is $5000?

- Definitely a lot of the basses on here are worth more.
- Tuition for 2 semesters of college (not including textbooks and supplies)
- A pretty nice, but not pro dSLR

etc.

$5000 is subjective. You take a poll of what people would spend $5000 on and you get answers that you would think to yourself, "Wow there's no way I'd spend $5000 for that".

I personally think $5000 is too much to wear on my finger.

Originally Posted by elgecko

You guys are being trolled by a spambot!

Completely. But I thought it could be a good discussion.

[MakiSupaStar]

Originally Posted by HEIST

3 months pay? I thought the DeBeers' attempt at creating frenzy was phrased at 2 months.

Either way, if a person wants to use this as a gauge: let's use 2 months on someone who makes $30,000 a year. That's $5000 on a ring. Whether you think that is a lot or not for a diamond ring, there are MANY amazing rings out there between the price range of $449 - $5000.

What is $5000?

- Definitely a lot of the basses on here are worth more.
- Tuition for 2 semesters of college (not including textbooks and supplies)
- A pretty nice, but not pro dSLR

etc.

$5000 is subjective. You take a poll of what people would spend $5000 on and you get answers that you would think to yourself, "Wow there's no way I'd spend $5000 for that".

I personally think $5000 is too much to wear on my finger.

Completely. But I thought it could be a good discussion.

I'm just here for the sexy Asian chicks.


But I'll play. I wound up getting a ring from Tiffany's. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. I know. I looked around. I checked diamonds. I checked settings. I just found that the diamond quality, combined with the setting was much better at Tiffany's. Plus my chick is a sexy Asian chick. Tiffany's pimp hand is strong with the Japanese chicks. I spent 7200 bucks. It's 3/4 carrot but it's a really white, and clear diamond. Plus she has small hands so the size fits her well.

[Munjibunga]

Originally Posted by Balog

Munji has excellent insight, even if I have no idea what the term "bullum ol' " means.

bullum ol' = 2 cts+ (4 cts total) in that context

[iamlowsound]

Originally Posted by HEIST

3 months pay? I thought the DeBeers' attempt at creating frenzy was phrased at 2 months.

Either way, if a person wants to use this as a gauge: let's use 2 months on someone who makes $30,000 a year. That's $5000 on a ring. Whether you think that is a lot or not for a diamond ring, there are MANY amazing rings out there between the price range of $449 - $5000.

What is $5000?

- Definitely a lot of the basses on here are worth more.
- Tuition for 2 semesters of college (not including textbooks and supplies)
- A pretty nice, but not pro dSLR

etc.

$5000 is subjective. You take a poll of what people would spend $5000 on and you get answers that you would think to yourself, "Wow there's no way I'd spend $5000 for that".

I personally think $5000 is too much to wear on my finger.



Completely. But I thought it could be a good discussion.

For me, I have been saving my pennies for quite a while and that was my budget. Then I found a diamond wholesaler and got the diamond at a killer price. They hooked me up with a jeweler that made the custom setting and took care of everything. In the end I ended up with a $10k ring that cost me less than 1/4 of that. I paid less for the custom ring with diamond, than a regular jewelery store would pay for the diamond.

lowsound

[bassybill]

I banned the spambot - OT mods please delete.

[iamlowsound]

Originally Posted by bassybill

I banned the spambot - OT mods please delete.

Can we keep the thread? It is an interesting discussion.

[bassybill]

Noted. I'll let my OT mod colleagues sort it out. Normally we wholesale delete any thread started by a bot, as this certainly is, looking at the posting history.

[MakiSupaStar]

I say can it. Its just getting us to click on that link, and who knows if it's gather data on our responses.

[warwick.hoy]

Originally Posted by elgecko

You guys are being trolled by a spambot!

Ha,...hook, line and sinker