How Many Times is it Appropriate to Say What?

sneha1965 · #1 01-09-2012, 08:05 AM

Before you just nod smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

My wife and I are having lunch yesterday and the waiter is uttering something to which I have no clue. I say "what" and then get the same volume of mumbling. Again I politely ask him to repeat himself. Same thing.

Now, I can hear the guy speaking but I am not understanding what's he's saying. I begin to think I may be loosing my hearing except that I can clearly hear the waiter who is taking an order at the table next to us. Both waiters are American. At this point I just want to smile and nod my head but I actually need to place an order. <uncomfortable silence and a stare from the waiter> I chose to ignore whatever he said, give both our orders and say thanks,...to which I get a frown.

What can you do?

LarryO · #2 01-09-2012, 08:13 AM

Well, did you eventually get your food? If so, whatever you did worked!

sneha1965 · #3 01-09-2012, 08:19 AM

The food made it fine. I'm just trying to figure out if I actually need a hearing test or perhaps there are people who speak at certain frequencies I just can't hear? Thing is, I could hear him volume wise but what he said just was sounding like gibberish.

**pacojas** · #4 01-09-2012, 08:26 AM

my son does that to me until i just lose it!

he: ijrrfk ysdi ydlgk bihibvg,...

me: what?

3 what's and i'm done!

iamlowsound · #5 01-09-2012, 08:28 AM

My wife will mumble and talk facing away from me all the time, after I ask "what" two or three times she usually gets mad at me and says that it doesn't matter.

lowsound

sneha1965 · #6 01-09-2012, 08:31 AM

Oh man! I've had that. It's not that you're not listening. Some people just don't enunciate well or they speak so fast that the words all blend together.

Phalex · #7 01-09-2012, 08:34 AM

I'm a little deaf on the Hi-Hat side, I've been known to drive my wife crazy........

MakiSupaStar · #8 01-09-2012, 08:42 AM

WHAT?!

Yerf Dog · #9 01-09-2012, 08:43 AM

What?
What??
Write it down please.

sneha1965 · #10 01-09-2012, 08:54 AM

I may have to cut back on using ear buds.

tZer · #11 01-09-2012, 09:05 AM

I hear you.

I agree that it's frustrating that some people don't seem to be aware of the fact that they are not projecting or that they don't seem to be concerned about whether or not they can be heard or understood.

It seems like they really don't want you to hear them and that it's just not worth it to make an effort to be heard - sort of like a passive-aggressive, "don't bother me".

My wife is notorious for giving me barely audible responses then getting miffed when I ask her to repeat herself. Normally this is not a real problem but it can be when I'm driving and she's navigating.

Me: "Is that our exit coming up"
Her: "Eferumph, mifflepuf u bobo..."
Me: "Wha? It's almost here - go or no go!?"
Her: "eFERumph, mifflepuf u bobo..."
Me: "Oh well... we can clover leaf it if it was our exit..."
Her: "Well I said to turn off there... I don't know why you didn't..."

And no, my wife is not a Klingon...

Jazz Ad · #12 01-09-2012, 09:11 AM

"What" seems unpolite to me, I try not to use it.
I beg your pardon, excuse me, sorry could you repeat etc etc.

sneha1965 · #13 01-09-2012, 09:12 AM

I get that too. Or, I might be concentrating on something and my wife starts talking to me and about half way into the second sentence I've got to go, "What!?" Normally, unless I'm sitting right next to my wife in the same room, I'll call hear name first before I start talking so I know that I have her attention.

sneha1965 · #14 01-09-2012, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jazz Ad

"What" seems unpolite to me, I try not to use it.
I beg your pardon, excuse me, sorry could you repeat etc etc.

Sometimes I'll say, "I'm sorry?" Which hear in the states means, could you repeat that?

It depends on how loud it is and how much peripheral noise is occurring. Sometime I say what to interrupt them because it's a waste of both our time for them to continue as they are.

carlos840 · #15 01-09-2012, 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jazz Ad

"What" seems unpolite to me, I try not to use it.
I beg your pardon, excuse me, sorry could you repeat etc etc.

+1

electracoyote · #16 01-09-2012, 09:26 AM

"What?" is impolite? Ooooo-kay.

Mumbling incoherently is impolite.

If I really need to hear it, and someone is mumbling at low volume, I say "Speak up."

Phalex · #17 01-09-2012, 09:30 AM

What what?

Samwell - "What What (In the Butt)" - YouTube

Joe Gress · #18 01-09-2012, 09:35 AM

Mid range hearing loss here. It's been with me since birth and i didn't find out till a couple of years ago. I say what and huh so many times around my friends that they have learned to cope with it themselves. Speak and up and speak clearly, otherwise you'll never get heard.

Jimbob Jones · #19 01-09-2012, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tZer

I hear you.

I see what you did there

This is how it usually goes for me:

Mumbler: Eeroomph soang gloof.
Me: Sorry?
Mumbler: Eeroromph stobang gloof.
Me: Sorry I still didn't catch that.
Mumbler: Elephants stole ang glooth.
Me: I'm sorry, you'll have to speak up!

If they haven't enunciated clearly enough by this point, I feel that the ball is in their court.

bassteban · #20 01-09-2012, 09:36 AM

My hearing has been bad since high-school(late 70s/early 80s). It's as if a certain couple of upper-mid bands on a graphic EQ are just GONE. Makes hearing everyday, normal-volume speech tricky for me. I know a hearing aid would help but I'm too vain to go that route- yet. I tell people- especially my kids- they need to look directly at me & SPEAK UP if they want me to hear. In the OP's situation I'd be torn- if after one or two *what?*'s he/she/it did NOT turn up the volume, I'd probably have left, as showing one's PO'edness to restaurant staff prior to getting the food is rarely a good idea.