How much to spend on an engagement ring?

[hrodbert696]

Well, this seems like the obvious thing to do -- since the prior thread on the question was started by a spambot and should be deleted, but people actually found the question interesting, let's continue the discussion in a thread posted by a real live member.

So... how much do you think you (or your prospective fiancee) should spend on an engagement ring? Should it be a major financial sacrifice? Does the cost of the ring say something about your/his feelings?

I'll weigh in with my feelings about it: What's "expensive" is a very different thing for someone making $30K than what's "expensive" to someone making $100K (and up, etc.). I think that what's important is to show that you've really invested in the ring and not just got the cheapest one you could with your pocket money, but more importantly that the ring shows thought and has meaning. In my case, we really didn't have much money, and the initial engagement was very spontaneous: my wife's first "engagement ring" was a piece of green yarn tied around her finger (sadly, it got lost, I think in the shower).

The permanent ring we had custom made by a jeweler around a diamond of my mother's. I don't really remember what I paid for it, but I think it was around $700, the diamond being free. The wedding rings were made by the same jeweler and I think ran another $1K or so for the pair. That was pretty expensive for where we were financially at the time, but not so much as to sink us in a hole of debt (which is generally not good for marriages...).

[hover]

they say 2 month's salary. I say bull.

It's an object of affection and should mean more than just braggin rights and showing off.

If it's gonna be a diamond, to me, go for the best stone you can get, not the biggest.

[fenderhutz]

The real answer is, how pretentious is the girlfriend

My wife is pretty much an anti-materialist and would have slapped me silly if I spent two months salary on a rock.

Her complete set was under 600.00 and I got custom engraved titanium because of pulling servers in and out of racks it would have been destroyed if gold. Mine was a little over 100. Do we care for each other any less, nope.

Don't let consumerism influence your buying habits. 2 months salary is just a made up number to get you to spend some serious cash.

[Absentia]

Originally Posted by fenderhutz

The real answer is, how pretentious is the girlfriend

My wife is pretty much an anti-materialist and would have slapped me silly if I spent two months salary on a rock.

Her complete set was under 600.00 and I got custom engraved titanium because of pulling servers in and out of racks it would have been destroyed if gold. Mine was a little over 100. Do we care for each other any less, nope.

Don't let consumerism influence your buying habits. 2 months salary is just a made up number to get you to spend some serious cash.

Ha! what we did also about 300 on both our rings together, tungsten too as the last time I bought her a ring she destroyed it in a matter of weeks fishing around in equipment. Though we don't ever wear our rings usually now (makes people talk ).




What you can afford with in reason, and don't spend a fortune on an elaborate wedding, a down payment on a new home for the new family is a much better investment.

My 2 cents

[nutdog]

Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

Cubic Zirconia is a man's.

What is it with shiny rocks?

That being said, I put much thought and effort into buying a quality ring for the Mrs. It's worth it to her. I asked her if she wouldn't rather have an engagement car. The car would be a POS right now but she still wears the ring everyday. And the dollar/day goes down everyday.

I agree with quality over size. But when you get right down to it's a rock. A pretty rock, but a rock.

[bmc]

Spend what you are comfortable spending. It's really that simple.

[fenderhutz]

Originally Posted by nutdog

But when you get right down to it's a rock. A pretty rock, but a rock.

And not as rare as people would like you to think. No reason to cause that inflated of a price.

[Big_Daddy]

Gauge who your girlfriend is. You can normally tell which one will really like a diamond ring, and which will appreciate any ring.

That being said...Buy a diamond ring.

[Chebass88]

It depends on a few things. What size does she want? What quality? What is the resale value (if you need to do so at a later point?) What metals does she like?

My wife does not like yellow gold, so that means platinum or white gold. White gold is really yellow gold with Pt inside, and occasionally, needs recoating. She is also on the bigger side, so a small ring does not look the same as it would on a skinny waif. I bought a 1 carot of decent quality (1 or 2 steps down from the topmost quality), in a platinum setting. Total = $8K (diamond = $6K, setting = $2K). Our wedding rings are also platinum, and ~$1800 each.

Biggest tip (I learned the hard way...) - DO NOT PUT IT ON CREDIT (unless you get a 0% financing!!). I did, and it took me over a year to pay it off. We are now debt-free (other than my lone student loan, but that kind of a debt load is tough.

[Phalex]

I went with the 2 months salary thing. It's amazing how so many hours of grueling back breaking labor can be condensed down into a size seven ring.......

[SharkUSMC]

Depends on the lady friend. For me, my wife isn't/wasn't interested in that nonsense, so I bought something small and cheap. Now the engagement ring along with our original wedding rings sit in a drawer, and we wear matching rings we bought on a trip to China.

[thomashawk]

Obviously, everyone is different - with their own desires and expectations. Here's our approach:

A) A major part of getting married was putting our money together. Therefore, the cost of the engagement ring was not my expense, it was "our" expense. Together, we decided how much our "family" wanted to allocate on rings.

B) We feel the diamond trade is a brutal business, and certainly see through the scam of diamond's "rarity." That said, we chose a light yellow sapphire. With effort, we found a beautiful stone that is always mistaken for a yellow diamond.

For the engagement ring, and wedding rings for us both (all platinum), we spent about a week's pay.

That was seven years ago. We're still very happy, and we now have a wonderful daughter - who we named after Syd Barrett. ;-)

[IotaNet]

Take her on a ring-shopping "outing" and see what she likes. Ask her to show you the ones that appeal to her most. That will give you a good gauge of what her preferences are.

When it's time to buy her ring, buy the nicest one you can afford that is along the lines of what she likes.

The ring thing (like much of marriage) is really about the women and their preferences. Some adore diamonds -- some think the diamond trade is brutal. Some want sparkly rocks, some don't care.

It's all about finding out what YOUR woman would like to have and what's important to her.

[Phalex]

Originally Posted by IotaNet

T
The ring thing (like much of marriage) is really about the women and their preferences.

+1

I also think the ring thing has a lot to do with commitment too. If you're trying to get a lovely lady to hitch her cart to your horse, what does an unwillingness to invest heavily in the engagement ring say about a man's attitude towards the relationship?

[christw]

My girl and her friends seem to think that 2-3 months earning's is a good price for a ring. When I first heard this I said that I could take us around the world on an unforgettable vacation for that much. They still think that the expensive ring is better. It's a life long symbol of love that "everyone" will see. Why isn't the trip that we always wanted to take and a cheaper ring more romantic? Then it's still a symbol of love and also a reminder of the amazing vacation we'd take.

Edit: It's worth noting that it's been a 50/50 split among the girls that I've dated with thoughts about ring pricing. I just don't buy these stupid traditions. A young couple could always use that $5-$10k in their bank or put it to much better use than on silly materialism. I only see a waste, not an expression of love. It is also the only time in life that a woman will let you spend that much money.

[i_got_a_mohawk]

[SteveC]

I spent about 3 months worth. We don't have a huge stone but the color, cut and clarity are fantastic. It's almost perfect. The only blemish can only be seen under a scope. It sparkles like a million bucks, but it was only a few grand. She get compliments on it all the time. She's happy. I'm happy.

[Absentia]

You could always tell her to do what my mother did, she bought the ring then gave my dad the receipt.

[Jonyak]

3 months salary is rediculous.

[Skitch it!]

As far as I remember about a $100 on a second hand Victorian ring from a jewellers in Barnet, London. We were happily engaged for the next 13 years, when we decided to split to pursue our different wants, we wished each other well and went our separate ways, simple as that.