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10-04-2008, 11:07 AM
| | | | how you are getting any girl you are wanting
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Hello, my name is tehuberc and I am croatia. I see lots of topics on here about girls and they are problem so I decide to tell you how you get girl easy. My advice work well.
1st. You need establish manhood.
I am talking about getting girl to know you're the man. You must brim confidence and act tough like Croatian mob. Girl like strong man who will beat up other men who say thing to her, so if you are not strong you need to train in gym. I suggest cow lifting and tire flipping. When you have strong man body you need to fight in front of girl for girl. Go to local disco club and dance. When another weak bodied man try to talk to your girl you fight him and win. Girl will know you won't let russians take her.
2nd. You must soften hands
Under Stalins rule we are put to work building tanks and planes, and this is hard work. It is rough on your hand to carry armor for tank and it makes you rough and tumble. Girl do not like rough hand for it scratch their skin. You need to soften your hand by this method. You wear glove at work and you put, ehh, what you american call "petrol jelly" in glove and squish around. It make your hand soft so you can touch girl in soft way. The softest handed yet strong man get girl.
3rd. You must buy stock
Girl want man who is strong and have soft hand, but they want man who can care for animal and own stock. I am talking sheep and cow and chicken, a "live" stock you may say. Go to town center and look for sheep trader and offer him all you have for his sheep. If girl is important you must give all. Take sheep to vast Croatia grassland and let them eat and grow. Show girl that you own stock and she will be attracted to you.
4th. Must establish unibrow.
This is the most manly trait of all. Unibrow is a sign of smart power and shows you are man. It must be thick like a caterpillar and it must have no break. The straighter your unibrow the manly you are. In America girl no like this unibrow, but in MY Croatia they will drop suspender over sight of it. I think America will learn the true power of unibrow.
That is all I haf for now. Thank you and good luck on girl. |
10-04-2008, 11:10 AM
|  | Moderator
Endorsing Artist: Levy's Leathers Moderator | | Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Toronto/Niagara Falls, Ontario | | | HOLD ON HOLD ON!!!
You're Croatia? |
10-04-2008, 11:14 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: South Side Chicago | | | do what they do here in America, look and act like a douche.
my method is I find a GIANT cucumber and put it down my pants, then find a girl I like and Point at it repeatedly and thrust in her direction. my method is cheaper and works better. |
10-04-2008, 11:16 AM
|  | Registered User
Moderator for EHX Forums | | Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Houston/Nacogdoches | | | Oh dear god, this is great.
__________________
Texas Bassist #10
Probably in a lot of other clubs as well.
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10-04-2008, 11:17 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Georgetown, Kentucky | | | ^^^
has someone been watching Spinal Tap? |
10-04-2008, 11:22 AM
|  | Registered User | | | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Croox  my method is I find a GIANT cucumber and put it down my pants, |
Keep it in front. It works better.  |
10-04-2008, 11:24 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: South Side Chicago | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Keep it in front. It works better. | it took one try to learn that. 
and besides you cant butt thrust at somone! |
10-04-2008, 11:30 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Toronto, ON | | | Is this a joke?
Because it's hard to tell.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by funkalicious101 He was probably mad at you for drinking all of his urine. Or atleast a little bit weirded out. | |
10-04-2008, 11:35 AM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Lincolnshire, UK | | | The non-english speaking grammar makes this thread epic. It makes me read it in eastern european accent. |
10-04-2008, 11:36 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Harpers Ferry WV | | Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDarkReaver The non-english speaking grammar makes this thread epic. It makes me read it in eastern european accent. |
Or like Borat. |
10-04-2008, 11:38 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Sacramento, CA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDarkReaver The non-english speaking grammar makes this thread epic. It makes me read it in eastern european accent. | Hahahaha I did. Quote:
Originally Posted by Croox do what they do here in America, look and act like a douche. | Douchbaggery FTW
sadly. |
10-04-2008, 11:46 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Virginia Beach, VA | | | This thread is win. |
10-04-2008, 11:50 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Eh? | | | Incredible.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by tom once dead Also to prove my Australianism, I've been stung by an irukandji jellyfish before, while snorkelling at an island looking at stingrays. | |
10-04-2008, 11:55 AM
|  | Supporting Curmudgeon Moderator | | Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Suburban Chicago, IL | | | I call BS. tehuberc, nice try.
__________________
Ken
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
As I cuddled the porcupine he said I had none to blame, but me. | | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | 
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