I Am A Plumbing Genius

**Bryan R. Tyler** · #1 08-31-2009, 11:19 PM

Okay, so I needed to replace my toilet's flapper valve. Seems easy enough. Get the new one out of the box, start pulling the old one up, and water is rushing down and coming out at me.

I had somehow forgotten that the shutoff valve existed.

So I try holding the floater arm up to stop the water from spraying at me while detaching the flapper chain from up.

I pull up a little too hard and break the arm off at the fill valve into three pieces.

Now the water's spraying again, and I remember the shutoff valve exists, and shut off the water. I get the new flapper in, and attempt to superglue the pieces of the floater arm back together. It fails. It fails and covers my fingers in superglue. I unscrew the entire inlet tube with the broken fill valve in hopes of replacing it tomorrow.

At this moment, I felt it prudent to use said broken toilet. I open the shutoff valve so that the toilet can fill back up. Toilet fills, I go to shut off the water again, and apparently that one shut off was all it had left in it- the valve is stripped and the water won't turn off. I don't know how to replace the valve.

Fearing for my life, I run to the basement to look if there is another shutoff valve to shut off the water going to my shutoff valve. Upon looking at my pipes, I realize I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, so I head back upstairs. Here is where the genius begins- I realize that I can get it to stop if I screw the inlet valve back in and get the fill valve to turn off. I screw it back in, hold down the filler valve button, and the water shuts off. Realizing it will be less than fun to sit there all night with my thumb in the toilet, I go to the place where all of life's answers can be found- my wallet. I attempt pennies, nickels, dimes, and finally, the venerable quarter. It indeed did the job. Wide enough to stay still, tall enough to stick up past the lid. Add 20lbs of weights to a quarter standing on its end, and this is how my toilet now looks:

Now using the toilet is as simple as 1, 2, lift 20lbs and a quarter until the toilet refills.

Envy me if you must.

Joe Gress · #2 08-31-2009, 11:23 PM

Nice.

heroincredible · #3 08-31-2009, 11:24 PM

You, sir, have won the day. Congratulations! Nothing I accomplish in the next half hour will be equal to your successes this day. Well done!

And that is a rather genius solution.

Vic Winters · #4 08-31-2009, 11:27 PM

kanonfodr · #5 08-31-2009, 11:29 PM

Nice invention. Are there no actual plumbers in your area?? To create such a marvel of fluid dynamics must surely require utmost need.

Peace,
Greg

**Bryan R. Tyler** · #6 08-31-2009, 11:39 PM

Real plumbers require money. Real plumbers at 11pm require LOTS of money. My near-endless knowledge of plumbing is free and it would be a crime against nature not to share them with the world, starting with my own bathroom

**Staccato** · #7 08-31-2009, 11:42 PM

Pilot to Co-Pilot: "Start the Checklist for engine start."
Response from Co-Pilot: "What Checklist?"

hbarcat · #8 08-31-2009, 11:58 PM

You, sir, are a plumbing genius.

ADbassman · #9 09-01-2009, 12:23 AM

I had the chain break on my toilet so I simply installed a ripcord in lieu of replacing it.

**Mark Wilson** · #10 09-01-2009, 12:32 AM

lmfao genius.

Pure Genius.

Mazatleco17 · #11 09-01-2009, 12:33 AM

Brilliant!!!!

All_¥our_Bass · #12 09-01-2009, 12:41 AM

LOL!!

Yup, it's genius.

standupright · #13 09-01-2009, 12:46 AM

you could just piss in your backyard

DigMe · #14 09-01-2009, 05:32 AM

You should market toilet repair kits - each with a quarter and a 20lb weight included.

bc

**Bryan R. Tyler** · #15 09-01-2009, 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by standupright

you could just piss in your backyard

I think Vic Winters' post was made in anticipation of yours.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DigMe

You should market toilet repair kits - each with a quarter and a 20lb weight included.

bc

You, sir, are a MARKETING genius.

Muusers · #16 09-01-2009, 06:16 AM

playinpearls · #17 09-01-2009, 06:59 AM

win.

Clark Dark · #18 09-01-2009, 07:19 AM

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA AAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA

jojobean39 · #19 09-01-2009, 07:19 AM

One of the best threads ever.

Jim Campbell · #20 09-01-2009, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bryan R. Tyler

Okay, so I needed to replace my toilet's flapper valve. Seems easy enough. Get the new one out of the box, start pulling the old one up, and water is rushing down and coming out at me.

I had somehow forgotten that the shutoff valve existed.

So I try holding the floater arm up to stop the water from spraying at me while detaching the flapper chain from up.

I pull up a little too hard and break the arm off at the fill valve into three pieces.

Now the water's spraying again, and I remember the shutoff valve exists, and shut off the water. I get the new flapper in, and attempt to superglue the pieces of the floater arm back together. It fails. It fails and covers my fingers in superglue. I unscrew the entire inlet tube with the broken fill valve in hopes of replacing it tomorrow.

At this moment, I felt it prudent to use said broken toilet. I open the shutoff valve so that the toilet can fill back up. Toilet fills, I go to shut off the water again, and apparently that one shut off was all it had left in it- the valve is stripped and the water won't turn off. I don't know how to replace the valve.

Fearing for my life, I run to the basement to look if there is another shutoff valve to shut off the water going to my shutoff valve. Upon looking at my pipes, I realize I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, so I head back upstairs. Here is where the genius begins- I realize that I can get it to stop if I screw the inlet valve back in and get the fill valve to turn off. I screw it back in, hold down the filler valve button, and the water shuts off. Realizing it will be less than fun to sit there all night with my thumb in the toilet, I go to the place where all of life's answers can be found- my wallet. I attempt pennies, nickels, dimes, and finally, the venerable quarter. It indeed did the job. Wide enough to stay still, tall enough to stick up past the lid. Add 20lbs of weights to a quarter standing on its end, and this is how my toilet now looks:

Now using the toilet is as simple as 1, 2, lift 20lbs and a quarter until the toilet refills.

Envy me if you must.

it is amazing that a three dollar shut off valve could be so unreliable.......probably an import...

.....i put a heavy duty valve in the basement