I got a free piano and it's ruining my day...

Taylor Livingston · #1 07-21-2010, 07:16 PM

I was given a piano recently. Fun, now I can play my own just intonation/prepared piano weirdness without the fear of damaging someone's else's piano, I thought.

In reality what this means is that, for several days now, I have had to listen to my girlfriend fumble sadly through the same Lady Gaga song over and over, for hours on end.

I never bought the belief that "musical ability is something you either have or you don't" - I thought anybody could learn with enough practice. But I was wrong. Some people just do not have the concept of rhythm and cannot make it happen no matter what. I don't mean playing some wacky polymeter, I'm talking about knowing where the "1" of a beat is.

I'm no Glenn Gould but I could probably work out how to play it in a minute or two, and show her, but she would be offended. So instead I sit, quietly banging my head on the wall...

hover · #2 07-21-2010, 07:18 PM

yer just gonna have to shoot her.

FL Knifemaker · #3 07-21-2010, 07:19 PM

Bethoven would have showed a strong pimp hand.

KeithBMI · #4 07-21-2010, 07:22 PM

Pics of girlfriend playing piano in her underwear or it doesn't exist.

FL Knifemaker · #5 07-21-2010, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KeithBMI

Pics of girlfriend playing piano in her underwear or it doesn't exist.

+ 1

warwick.hoy · #6 07-21-2010, 07:27 PM

Is the piano in tune?

I got a free piano. It's out of tune,...I got a free sideboard.

**Staccato** · #7 07-21-2010, 07:28 PM

"Can't live with them, can't live without them, can't shoot 'em!"

Taylor Livingston · #8 07-21-2010, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KeithBMI

Pics of girlfriend playing piano in her underwear or it doesn't exist.

Correct, that doesn't exist. But if it did it would still not make "Paparazzi" redeemable.

That's the thing, it would be bad enough even if she could play it. That stuff hurts my brain as much as avant-garde atonal electro-acoustic stuff hurts her brain, but at least I listen on headphones. But the version where the pianist is Marlee Matlin and the singer doesn't know where 1 is, is quite another thing.

Don't get me wrong, if this is among the biggest complaints after nearly 10 years in a relationship, that ain't so bad. But, man, jeez.

Tommygunn · #9 07-21-2010, 07:56 PM

Trade it for bass gear

MJ5150 · #10 07-21-2010, 08:08 PM

Keep on encouraging her to express herself. We all start somewhere. You may end up with a kickin' keyboard/piano player to jam with.

-Mike

James Hart · #11 07-21-2010, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taylor Livingston

In reality what this means is that, for several days now, I have had to listen to my girlfriend fumble sadly through the same Lady Gaga song over and over, for hours on end.

I bought a cheap used retired school piano... I get to hear my wife working out just the melody lines to Enya and Sarah McLachlan classics.

blendermassacre · #12 07-21-2010, 10:07 PM

there's no such thing as a free piano...

GregC · #13 07-21-2010, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blendermassacre

there's no such thing as a free piano...

But you can get a free tuna fish!

Or something like that...

Taylor Livingston · #14 07-21-2010, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James Hart

I bought a cheap used retired school piano... I get to hear my wife working out just the melody lines to Enya and Sarah McLachlan classics.

I actually like some of Enya's music, though not the cheery bubblebath stuff. There was a time when Enya was so badass that The Fugees had to steal her tunes just to get some of that Enya stank on "The Score". But I get what you're saying.

Quote:

Originally Posted by blendermassacre

there's no such thing as a free piano...

Ah, so true, it seems.

T-Bird · #15 07-22-2010, 12:01 AM

Hi.

I feel Your pain. Sort of.

The original guitarist in the "therapy" band of aging bikers I was in, had absolutely no sense of rythm or time.

And I kid You not. After a hard practice of about 25 years, the intro to Smoke On The Water was just too much for him, rythm-wise. We played together for about 4 years and there was no improvement during that time. As far as I know, he still doesn't get it right. A super cool guy though.

Regards
Sam

Bard2dbone · #16 07-22-2010, 03:19 AM

I understand.

A few years back, the guitarist from my old band calls me and says that a friend of his had found a female vocalist/songwriter that needed a band. Her voice was good. Her lyrical ideas were okay. And she sounded pretty good on keys BY HERSELF.

After a few attempts at playing as a band, John, my former guitarist, said "I can't stand it anymore. I have to quit or I'll strangle her. And I'm too pretty for prison*."

She had no concept of chord theory. She knew that these notes = this chord. And that was as far as she took it. She didn't understand that it matters which of those notes is on top or bottom. It never occurred to her that changing the inversions on a chord progression changed the progression.

So she not only couldn't play it through the same way twice, but couldn't even manage to make it all the way through the same way once.

*The "I'm too pretty for prison." was actually a joke referencing a friend of ours from way back when. He wasn't that good looking, either.

MatticusMania · #17 07-22-2010, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blendermassacre

there's no such thing as a free piano...

Yeah, cuz then you gotta pay some peeps to move it to your house, those things are heavY!

DudeistMonk · #18 07-22-2010, 12:05 PM

Does she have sheet or anything? Or she is trying to do it by ear?

jonathan_matos5 · #19 07-22-2010, 12:09 PM

i got a piano for my girlfriend. . .

best trade ever!

**embellisher** · #20 07-22-2010, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taylor Livingston

I never bought the belief that "musical ability is something you either have or you don't" - I thought anybody could learn with enough practice. But I was wrong. Some people just do not have the concept of rhythm and cannot make it happen no matter what. I don't mean playing some wacky polymeter, I'm talking about knowing where the "1" of a beat is.

This is how it is with my wife of 22 years. Since we have been together, she has taken up piano, guitar, bass, and assorted other instruments. And made no progress on them whatsoever. She wants a violin and a cello too. She took three years of violin in middle school, I sometimes think of getting her one, but then I remember listening to her play the bass, piano, or guitar.