i hate myself

mike phillips · #1 08-28-2008, 02:13 PM

i really do. i gained about 25lbs. i dont blame it on eatin or pepsis. but myself. i feel like crap all the time. aches and stabbin pains all the time. i use to walk. i dont do that anymore because it kills my knees, lower legs and back. i dont have any energy especially after work. i take to the couch and thats about it. i dont practice as much as i use to. i hardly even go outside. my car has suffered as well. i havent even had motovation to clay bar and polish it this year. i imagine all the polished aluminum under the hood looks like crap. i just dont know whats happenin. im a farm boy. spent many a day outside from early to late. worked hard all my life. from farmin to my daily job as a diesel mechanic for the last 30 years. i just hate to look at myself. i been fat all my life and have come from a long line of fat relitives. as a matter of fact as big as i am at 5'9", 247 im the smallest in our family. i want to be active again. im tired of hurtin. i want my life back.

CanadaMan · #2 08-28-2008, 02:59 PM

Then get on it. Instead of hating yourself, do something about it man!

Cut back the calories to 500 less than your maintanence level, eat right (5-6 small meals a day, keeps your metabolism up), start doing some cardio, and even hit the weights brah.

The only person who can make a change is you, so what are you waiting for?

NJL · #3 08-28-2008, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CanadaMan

Then get on it. Instead of hating yourself, do something about it man!

Cut back the calories to 500 less than your maintanence level, eat right (5-6 small meals a day, keeps your metabolism up), start doing some cardio, and even hit the weights brah.

The only person who can make a change is you, so what are you waiting for?

+100

Deacon_Blues · #4 08-28-2008, 03:01 PM

Go traveling somewhere, at least for a month. That will force you out of your daily routines for some time, and when you come back, you will eventually be in a physically and mentally better shape.

Anyway, it sounds like you need more to do. Are you in a band? If not, start or join one. Or start doing something else... It's not easy to start activate yourself if you've run into some lazy routines. I'm a bit in the same boat myself actually. Perhaps you just need someone to drag your @$$ off the couch. I'd need one to do that to myself as well...

I picked up bowling last year and it has been fun. I compete a little as well, mostly with my company team, and to reach good results you need to practice at least a couple of times a week, preferably more. Seeing yourself improve is a great way to get more and more active. Unfortunately, the whole spring season was a disaster for me, but I'll try to change that now when the autumn season starts in a week or two. I also heard we'll get one more member to the team now in the autumn - a good-looking and smart (she's an engineer as well) woman of approximately my age. I would definitely not mind having a bit more to do with her...

gonzorob · #5 08-28-2008, 03:09 PM

Fruit and water.

Eat fruit for breakfast and have some as a late afternoon snack.

I stopped drinking beer for a month and lost 15 pounds. Then started eating fruit a couple of times a day and lost another 10. Drink a lot of water. It may not really help you lose weight, but it helps keep you cleaned out.

In January I weighed in at a whopping 265 lbs which is way to heavy even for a 6'2 frame. With help from the above suggestions I have been able to keep my weight under 230 since May.

Bassic83 · #6 08-28-2008, 03:31 PM

Sign up for boot camp- be it the real deal, or one of the ones run by former DI's. Nothing like a tall, thin, mean SOB in a Smokey hat screaming two inches from your face to motivate you!

My little brother, the "G.I. Joe Action Figure" of the family, joined the Marine Corps on his 18th b-day. When he went into boot camp, he was 5-9, 202 lbs. That meant he was a "diet private", half-rats and double the pushups, running, pull-ups, and any other physical exercise they could think of until he reached his optimal weight. Only one problem- his DI never took him off the diet private list! One and a half days before graduation, he asked to speak with the DI, and explained that he had lost all the weight he could, had hit a plateau, and just could not lose another ounce. The DI had him weighed, and he had gone from 202 to 141. His body fat was measured, it was 4% total. The DI made sure he was first in line at chow hall, and allowed him to go back for seconds the rest of boot camp (four meals, total).

When we came on base for graduation, he sat on a picnic table in the common area, everyone was milling around, and we looked for him. He'd lost so much weight and become so toned, he was a completely different person! Not one of us could recognize him! We stood next to the table he was sitting on, and were frantically scanning the crowd for him. He finally got up, came over to Mom, and gave her a hug- she about freaked! We all did! It was amazing- he had an Adam's apple that stuck out about a mile, his arms and legs looked like sinew, and he was thin as a stray dog...but now he was tough as nails!

The DI spoke to Mom and apologized for losing track of him in the shuffle- he truly had no idea that my brother had been on Diet Private status since day one, all the way through. Usually it was for a week or two! But 8 weeks? He was amazed he survived, but not surprised.

So good luck to you, man.

NJL · #7 08-28-2008, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bassic83

Sign up for boot camp- be it the real deal, or one of the ones run by former DI's. Nothing like a tall, thin, mean SOB in a Smokey hat screaming two inches from your face to motivate you!

My little brother, the "G.I. Joe Action Figure" of the family, joined the Marine Corps on his 18th b-day. When he went into boot camp, he was 5-9, 202 lbs. That meant he was a "diet private", half-rats and double the pushups, running, pull-ups, and any other physical exercise they could think of until he reached his optimal weight. Only one problem- his DI never took him off the diet private list! One and a half days before graduation, he asked to speak with the DI, and explained that he had lost all the weight he could, had hit a plateau, and just could not lose another ounce. The DI had him weighed, and he had gone from 202 to 141. His body fat was measured, it was 4% total. The DI made sure he was first in line at chow hall, and allowed him to go back for seconds the rest of boot camp (four meals, total).

When we came on base for graduation, he sat on a picnic table in the common area, everyone was milling around, and we looked for him. He'd lost so much weight and become so toned, he was a completely different person! Not one of us could recognize him! We stood next to the table he was sitting on, and were frantically scanning the crowd for him. He finally got up, came over to Mom, and gave her a hug- she about freaked! We all did! It was amazing- he had an Adam's apple that stuck out about a mile, his arms and legs looked like sinew, and he was thin as a stray dog...but now he was tough as nails!

The DI spoke to Mom and apologized for losing track of him in the shuffle- he truly had no idea that my brother had been on Diet Private status since day one, all the way through. Usually it was for a week or two! But 8 weeks? He was amazed he survived, but not surprised.

So good luck to you, man.

Great story! It's amazing where a strong mind can take a person!

mike phillips · #8 08-28-2008, 04:01 PM

i dont mind excersize. i enjoyed my almost run walks. it just hurts to damn much. i went to the gym for almost two years. lost a bunch of weight. the stabbin pains i get and as often as i get them make me not want to do anything. my fingers cramp while holdin a wrench. since i dont do anythin i put some weight on. it sure would be cool to get away for a month for vacation or personal help. work, wife and children not to mention bills put an end to that theory. right now as i type this my neck and shoulders are tightenin up. i reckon i just wore my body away. i know im bad to only eat twice a day. i tried breakfast but no matter what or how little i eat makes me feel like crap for the rest of the day. i gig with my geddy but the damn thing gets real heavy after a while. i have tried all kinds of straps but found none i like. i do have a stretchy strap that is just ok. i do drink alot of water to try to fend off kidney stones that plague our family.

fenderx55 · #9 08-28-2008, 04:21 PM

It sounds like you have some severe-ish nerve or joint problems. Have you seen a doctor about it?

scrotimusprime · #10 08-28-2008, 04:33 PM

*hug*

GeneralElectric · #11 08-28-2008, 04:45 PM

Two words.

Lipo

Suction.

Cheer my man, take some steps (literally) and you'll go back down in no time. If you desperate I've got a steak knife and a shop vac.

Timbo · #12 08-28-2008, 05:59 PM

This is how I lost weight when I was rotund:
Only liquid that touched my lips was water.
Only food that touched my lips was food that came from my house. No eating out. And I tried to be somewhat conscious to not buy chips/fatty foods I could make at my house.

I think the biggest factor was just drinking water. You'd be surprised how many calories you can get in simply through juices/sodas/etc. Plus, you realize how much more refreshing and tasty a glass of cold water is compared to a cold coke.

Slapp Addict · #13 08-28-2008, 06:06 PM

AmazingGracePlayer · #14 08-28-2008, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mike phillips

i hate myself

Please post in "The Emo Thread."

mike phillips · #15 08-28-2008, 07:01 PM

my whole life has been workin with heavy equipment. it is big and parts are heavy. most people think there are lifts and cranes to handle this stuff. truth of the matter is most of the time you are the lift. i been to drs. backsnappers and pt. the pt girls diagnosis was your muscles are not weak but over worked. somethin i forgot to mention was i have some bulgin discs in my back that showed up on a mri. i know the extra weight aint helpin matters. emo thread, thats funny. steak knife and a shop vac, classic.

unbasslichkeit · #16 08-28-2008, 07:16 PM

Mike - all I'll say is I feel your pain, literally. All the weight I lost four years ago is back, and sciatica with it. Right now I can stand up to play abut one set - longer than that and I get numbness followed by pains in my right leg feeling like someone is jamming a letter opener into the middle of it.

I'm gonna try Timbo's ideas, I think - hard as it is this time of year. The thing I remember is that what took months to accumulate is not gonna go away tomorrow. Get one small victory, one change in behavior, and that can lead to others.

mike phillips · #17 08-28-2008, 07:31 PM

i look back at all the miles i walked. two years at the gym and the money spent to go there. the hard work it took to lose the weight. here it come creepin back. pound by pound. thats not what really bothers me. what gets to me is sometimes my back hurts so bad i have to get my wife to put my sox on. so excersizin is just about out of the question.

GeneralElectric · #18 08-28-2008, 08:47 PM

Ouch, I have no idea it hurt so bad, and I do know what you're talking about. I'm actually seeing a physical therapist right now for back and shoulder related stuff. I have all these fiber bundles in my back that shouldn't be there. That came from my muscles being overworked and building up. Unfortunately, they weren't good ones to be built up. I'm currently missing half of the range of motion in my neck because of this.

I recommend you see a hardcore physical therapist. Mine mentioned something called trigger points. I call them spots you touch that make me want to punch her in the face. They hurt like hell when you touch them. When she hit them the first time I had actually regained some degree of motion in my neck (that I lost again since I haven't seen her in awhile) When I was seeing her 3x a week I could move my head around like a normal person. In fact, I didn't even know I was missing that much until I could move normally. I was freaked out.

Your problem does sound very similar to mine. I'd have trouble moving around, and then when I tried to exceed that, I'd get debilitating pain. It turns out I have a whole host of range of motion problems, caused by those fiber bundles (which have caused the vertebrae between my shoulder blades to bulge outwards)

If you'd like me to ask my PT about it, I'd be more than happy to. I've been to a lot of PTs over the years for a lot of stuff, and she is, by far the best I've ever had. She's also elitist as hell, but I guess that comes with being as good as she is. Maybe I could convince her to come visit you down in the Sunny South. But then again, maybe you don't feel like her talking about how awesome Alternative Christian Rock(

) is.

MakiSupaStar · #19 08-28-2008, 11:26 PM

Sounds like some of your pain is perpetuated by the very things that you are complaining about. Knee joint pain is often the cause of too much weight straining them.

Tsal · #20 08-29-2008, 01:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mike phillips

thats not what really bothers me. what gets to me is sometimes my back hurts so bad i have to get my wife to put my sox on. so excersizin is just about out of the question.

Sounds like you're frustrated because you aren't doing anything about it.

For simple pain relief, lie down on the floor, keep your glutes on the floor and pull your knees to your chest. This makes your lower back flat and relieves the pressure.

I would suggest that you try to start a light exercise routine, for example swimming and light, slow gym exercises that focus on your upper and lower back, guts and glutes. Also, getting a few massages could help you get your back moving again.