I hereby revoke my own man card- perhaps permanently

[bassteban]

My wife bought me a new vaccuum, which I had asked for. Please deride and pummel me mercilessly.
[no smilies; this is as serious as the internet can possibly get]

Edit: I will now look for a far more effeminate avatar

[wdinc01]

Originally Posted by bassteban

[no smilies; this is as serious as the internet can possibly get]

The internet is always serious.

Also, no pics, no vacuum. Its to help us select the appropriate punishment.

[etoncrow]

Please tell us if was a new shop vac; one of those equipped to suck muck out of the swamp so you can see the gators more clearly...right?

[5StringBlues]

[bassteban]

Originally Posted by etoncrow

Please tell us if was a new shop vac; one of those equipped to suck muck out of the swamp so you can see the gators more clearly...right?

[drops already hanging head two full notches closer to floor, whimpers almost imperceptibly]
Can't- do- it...

Frankly I was a little bit dissappointed to find she was kidding about buying me a frilly French maid costume to wear whilst *manning* it
Uh, looks like it might suck pretty good, actually.

[Richland123]

Well, now, that really sucks. Oh, that is what you want it to do. Last summer, my daughter was using the vacuum cleaner for her car and it burned up. She went and bought a new one and then said that was my Father's Day present. Easy way for her to get out of that one but I did need a new vacuum anyway and would have had to spend my money to buy one. Hey, I live alone and have to clean the house anyway.

[hover]

I figured it was a Dyson, and assumed it was a "dyson ball" since you no longer have any...hahaha

[bassteban]

The reason I wanted a new one was that the one she last got was an apartment/girly(yeah, I said that)model Dyson w/friggen Barbie-sized attachments. My running comment every time I needed to go for the crevices or like that was 'It's like painting the house w/a sharpie'

[bassteban]

Originally Posted by hover

I figured it was a Dyson, and assumed it was a "dyson ball" since you no longer have any...hahaha

YEAH baby, that's what I'm TALKIN about.

[becker4567]

Does your wife make you vacuum the carpet whilst wearing your new fishnet thong?

[bassteban]

Originally Posted by becker4567

Does your wife make you vacuum the carpet whilst wearing your new fishnet thong?

No, silly- she lets me.

[Thunderscreech]

Originally Posted by bassteban

[drops already hanging head two full notches closer to floor, whimpers almost imperceptibly]
Can't- do- it...

Frankly I was a little bit dissappointed to find she was kidding about buying me a frilly French maid costume to wear whilst *manning* it

it's not actually purple is it?

besides, Dyson vacs are manly.

Do you get any benefits to vacuuming the house?

[Southpaw5]

It looks like a transformer sex toy

[bassteban]

Originally Posted by Thunderscreech

it's not actually purple is it?

besides, Dyson vacs are manly.

Do you get any benefits to vacuuming the house?

It is blue, though my hand-me-down-FROM-THE-WIFE-for-crying-out-loud phone is indeed purple.
I do believe Dysons are pretty studly, as mechanical sucking devices go. The aforementoned Barbie-vac is a Dyson, but in name only, in my book.
Benefits- my one & ONLY slim chance of retreiving/reissuing the card- had BEST be forthcoming.

[bassteban]

Originally Posted by 5StringBlues

So far this is best.

[billjr]

OK, here's a way to get your man card back. You will first have to get a beginner's man-permit. The only way to get that is to demonstrate that the vacuum has attachments, which allows us to technically consider it a "shop-vac, and then explain the upright design was bought so that your WIFE could use it also, as the indoor vacuum, thus allowing you to only have to buy one vacuum insterad of two in these economically depressing times.

Now, this will work, but only if you agree to never mention the maid costume again.

[Richland123]

He did tell his wife he needed to go for the crevices (which ones?). Sounds like your janitorial duties might come with extra benefits.

[bassteban]

Originally Posted by billjr

OK, here's a way to get your man card back. You will first have to get a beginner's man-permit. The only way to get that is to demonstrate that the vacuum has attachments, which allows us to technically consider it a "shop-vac, and then explain the upright design was bought so that your WIFE could use it also, as the indoor vacuum, thus allowing you to only have to buy one vacuum insterad of two in these economically depressing times.

Now, this will work, but only if you agree to never mention the maid costume again.

But I like the maid costume! Plus the heels give me better reach. They're really not that uncomfortable, at least not for the first few hours.
*Maid costume*? I do not recall mentioning any *maid costume*

[brickerenator]

Oreck > Dyson

[bassteban]

Originally Posted by brickerenator

Oreck > Dyson

Having never A/Bed the two, I don't qualify to comment. That said, the Oreck would need to suck a truckload of watermelons through a garden hose & the chrome off a bumper to compare to my Dyson. I just said *my* Dyson- oh dear God...