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03-14-2010, 03:56 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Alabama | | | I hope this is true.
Sign in to disble this ad
My wife got this in an e-mail, which means its prolly not true. I can still hope though. enjoy.
THIS IS AN ACTUAL PERSONAL AD FROM THE "SAVANNAH TRIBUNE" NEWSPAPER PLACED IN DECEMBER 2009........
AN ACTUAL PERSONAL AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me In Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The even ing was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you. but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime.. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
__________________
Mediocre Bassist #323, Bassists With Beards #97,P&W #894
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03-14-2010, 04:01 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: USA | | | There are many versions of that referring to several cities. Scopes can't confirm if it's true or not. |
03-14-2010, 04:01 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: California | | | I believe this was on best of craigslist
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Ergo facio bassum sum
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03-14-2010, 04:53 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: PA. | | | FTW
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Wookiee is spelled with two e's. Look it up.
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03-14-2010, 05:03 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: London, UK | | | ugh it reads like some kind of teenage revenge fantasy. |
03-14-2010, 05:10 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Lincolnshire, UK | | Quote:
Originally Posted by knumbskull  ugh it reads like some kind of teenage revenge fantasy. | Probably is to be fair. |
03-14-2010, 05:51 PM
| | | Alex wishes that is what happened.  |
03-14-2010, 06:24 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Leeds, UK | | Quote:
Originally Posted by RWP Alex wishes that is what happened. | Alex probably wishes that he had a girlfriend...
__________________ Quote: |
Originally Posted by Darkstrike If I kicked my dog in time to the music his cries would be better 'singing'. | |
03-14-2010, 06:27 PM
|  | Drunk on power... and beer | | Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Co. Kerry, Ireland. | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Happynoj Alex probably wishes that he had a girlfriend... | Or that he wasn't mugged...
__________________
The winners are crying and the losers are dancing. |
03-14-2010, 07:23 PM
|  | @Crawfication
Endorsing Artist: Gravity Picks | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ohio/West Virginia | | Leave poor Alex alone!
__________________ Fender - Gallien Krueger - Avatar - Gravity Facebook Twitter |
03-14-2010, 08:00 PM
| | Drunk on power... and beer | | Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Co. Kerry, Ireland. | | Quote:
Originally Posted by J. Crawford Leave poor Alex alone! | Hello Alex. 
__________________
The winners are crying and the losers are dancing. |
03-14-2010, 08:04 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: Clarkston, MI | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Happynoj Alex probably wishes that he had a girlfriend... | Hehe, Alex....
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Username is the Jar Jar Binks of TB-MakiSupaStar Upset Lollipop Eater #3| Vinyl Spinners Club #16| Michigan Club #Awesome| Vegetarian Club #Bananana Quote:
Originally Posted by santucci218 Go ahead, ill sleep with men and drink and have fun. | Mark Wilson Is The Greatest!
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03-14-2010, 08:10 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Leeds, UK | | Quote:
Originally Posted by username n/a Hehe, Alex.... | I don't get it.
__________________ Quote: |
Originally Posted by Darkstrike If I kicked my dog in time to the music his cries would be better 'singing'. | |
03-14-2010, 08:15 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: Clarkston, MI | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Happynoj I don't get it. | Thanks, I was just trying to fit in and you ruined it! You're destroying my life!!!!!!
__________________
Username is the Jar Jar Binks of TB-MakiSupaStar Upset Lollipop Eater #3| Vinyl Spinners Club #16| Michigan Club #Awesome| Vegetarian Club #Bananana Quote:
Originally Posted by santucci218 Go ahead, ill sleep with men and drink and have fun. | Mark Wilson Is The Greatest!
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03-14-2010, 08:18 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: AZ | | Quote:
Originally Posted by J. Crawford Leave poor Alex alone! | yes guys, please leave me alone 
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Traben Club #51 Praise & Worship #617 AZ Bands #3
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03-14-2010, 08:50 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Leeds, UK | | Quote:
Originally Posted by username n/a Thanks, I was just trying to fit in and you ruined it! You're destroying my life!!!!!! | Hey, I can't help it, I'm just trying to fit in! Everyone else tries to ruin your life as well... 
__________________ Quote: |
Originally Posted by Darkstrike If I kicked my dog in time to the music his cries would be better 'singing'. | |
03-14-2010, 09:04 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: Clarkston, MI | |
__________________
Username is the Jar Jar Binks of TB-MakiSupaStar Upset Lollipop Eater #3| Vinyl Spinners Club #16| Michigan Club #Awesome| Vegetarian Club #Bananana Quote:
Originally Posted by santucci218 Go ahead, ill sleep with men and drink and have fun. | Mark Wilson Is The Greatest!
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03-14-2010, 11:40 PM
|  | The Lowdown Diggler | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Huntington Beach, CA | | | Phalex? |
03-15-2010, 12:08 AM
|  | Master of Reality | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: San Diego, CA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by knumbskull ugh it reads like some kind of teenage revenge fantasy. | +1. Most of my teenage revenge fantasies at least involved me riding off on a unicorn. This one just felt uninspired. 
__________________ BREAKHOUSE - Noise Purveyors of the Highest Order
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03-15-2010, 05:11 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: Clarkston, MI | | | Pink sparkely unicorn?
__________________
Username is the Jar Jar Binks of TB-MakiSupaStar Upset Lollipop Eater #3| Vinyl Spinners Club #16| Michigan Club #Awesome| Vegetarian Club #Bananana Quote:
Originally Posted by santucci218 Go ahead, ill sleep with men and drink and have fun. | Mark Wilson Is The Greatest!
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