I know y'all don't like these threads, but....

[username n/a]

I was hanging out with my friend (female) today at the park, and she asked me about my most uncomfortable moment. I told her then asked her about her's. She told me about spending the night at one of our mutual friend's sister's house. She said she felt bad being there and not talking to him, so she went to his room, and laid on the foot of his bed and watched Comedy Central with him. He told her she didn't have to lay at the foot of the bed, so she moved over by him. He started making sexual suggestions to her. IE "If you flash me, I'll flash you" Then he flashed her. He also tried to kiss her. She said it made her feel really uncomfortable. She told him to stop acting like this. He continued to a lesser degree. It made her feel so bad she left his room to go sleep on his sister's floor without any blankets. She also told me that he, on a semi-regular basis, grabs her boobs and butt. She told me I'm the first person she's told.

TB, what the **** do I do? She's the sweetest, nicest, most kind hearted person I know. This isn't ok. That bastard needs to know this isn't ok, but I'm afraid to do anything because if I do she might not tell me if something like this happens in the future. I'm really ****ing clueless right now. I want to stab this ****er. I'm so pissed at him. I'm never pissed. What the **** am I supposed to do?

[blendermassacre]

Grow a pair, Kick his ass, or quit bitching, honestly.

[standupright]

i'd like to take this opportunity to thank Al Gore for creating the internet.

[macaroni tony]

If you feel protective of this chick, which it seems you do, and there's no boyfriend or big brother of hers to play that role, then give the guy some crap as soon as the opportunity presents itself. It may be a little awkward to just go up and confront him about it, so if you don't feel comfortable doing that, you'll have to wait until it happens again. Either that, or wait until there is some other reason to bring it up. Let him know it's got to stop or else things will start to get real, real physical between you and him.

No homo


okay EDIT: yeah, I guess find out the whole story before you do anything else. Come to think of it, wth would she expect climbing into bed with a teenage boy???????? Yeah, make sure she isn't just an attention whore first

[DudeistMonk]

Humm...

Okay the "adult" thing to do in this situation (although not necessarily the right thing to do) is to look the other way.

You can console her and help her if you like, but don't get in the middle. Also the sooner you learn that a girl who puts up with this kind of stuff is unattractive the easier your life will be. If she wants it to end she can stay away from him. I've wasted a lot of time on trying to "save" girls, it can't be done, and trying to do so makes you weak in the eyes of suitable mates.

It's one of those things, as you get older you will run into more and more mistreated girls, you'll find yourself knowing your friend is sleeping with your other friends GF and having to lie to keep the peace, etc...It's a moral concession most adults have to make to keep out of trouble.

My .02 / slightly jaded by my experiences with a girl who constantly made her self the target of abuse.

[Smurf-o-Deth]

**** that, stir the pot! Peace is for hippies.

[Jazz Ad]

You shouldn't do anything unless you get both sides of the story. Don't be a meat puppet.
Actually, you shouldn't do anything at all. WHat do you think you are, a white knight or something?
It's up to her to do something, if she wishes to.

[Stumbo]

Originally Posted by username n/a

She said she felt bad being there and not talking to him, so she went to his room, and laid on the foot of his bed and watched Comedy Central with him.

She also told me that he, on a semi-regular basis, grabs her boobs and butt. She told me I'm the first person she's told.

So, she's hanging out with someone that sexually abuses her and it "makes her feel bad" on a semi-regular basis.

What did she think was going to happen by going into his room and laying on his bed next to him?

This thing about feeling "bad" for someone else is some how motivating her to put herself into situations where she lets others take advantage of her. What if he decided to rape her and threatened her not to tell anyone? Would she comply? Where does she draw the line with people that mistreat her?

IME/O, feeling "bad" for someone else is what is normal to her and unfortunately, she acts on her "feelings" as if the other person is waiting for her to "help" them. She's attempting to solve a problem that does not exist. Her mind has been programmed to respond to the perceived needs of others.

IME, this is a serious issue she needs to resolve or her life will possibly end up like crap. It not her job to make other people feel "good" at her expense.

IMO, even if you kick the guy's ass and get him to stay away from her right now, her mental/emotional problem still exists. Best thing to do is encourage her to examine her motivations and if she is unable to change on her own, possibly discuss her issues with a professional. As Dr. Phil says "you can't change what you don't acknowledge".

[KeithBMI]

Don't be a white knight. It's a slippery slope.

[macaroni tony]

on second thought, yeah, screw what I said. Let this girl know he can only get as close to her as she lets him, and from now on whatever happens is her own fault.

I have two younger sisters, and many, many kids who look up to me. Always been that way, so I kind of have a defensive instinct about me. Maybe that colored my original response. But, yeah, I don't care how sweet this girl is, she's just being dumb

[MatticusMania]

Reminds me of Homer, trying to grab the electrified cupcake. It will always be electrified, find another cupcake.

[FL Knifemaker]

I would tell BOTH of them that if they don't knock it off, your going to hold your breath until you turn Blue

[i_got_a_mohawk]

Tap it.
Win.

Or just go back to playing Nintendo's.

If it is as bad as she makes out, she is either;
partially interested,
ok with joking/fooling about

...or should wise the **** up

[Staccato]

She should have stayed at the foot of the bed, or not been inches from the guy?

What he did was likely his idea of a pass at her, or flirting. Let it go, and don't think too much.

If she mentions it again, let her know that you weren't there, and since he didn't assault her, it's water under the bridge (and you wish she had not been in that situation).

[Munjibunga]

Tell her to tell him to knock it off. If he doesn't, she needs to punch him in the c'nardlies. There's no reason for you to get in the middle of it.

[jmattbassplaya]

I wouldn`t do anything. Like others have said, it just won`t end well. Be there for her if you must, but if she allows herself to be a victim then there`s nothing you can do to change that.

[Jazz Ad]

Expect her to tell you pretty soon about how bad she feels after sleeping with him.

[MakiSupaStar]

Originally Posted by standupright

i'd like to take this opportunity to thank Al Gore for creating the internet.

LMAO

[need4mospd]

Tell her she needs to stand up for herself and to not let herself be objectified like that.

Then squeeze her boobs.

[Scottgun]

Originally Posted by Jazz Ad

You shouldn't do anything unless you get both sides of the story. Don't be a meat puppet.
Actually, you shouldn't do anything at all. WHat do you think you are, a white knight or something?
It's up to her to do something, if she wishes to.

Yes! To Jazz Ad you listen!

**** that, stir the pot! Peace is for hippies.

I'm all for stirring the pot, but this isn't it. It's more like sticking your hand in a blender and hitting purée.