| I ran into a mooching black cat at Burger King!
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Go in, get food, start to leave, and there's a scruffy dirty black cat sitting right outside the door, staring in at me, licking it's lips.
What the heck? CATS mooch at the lunch line? I haven't dealt with this crap since the football team in high school would camp out at the lunch line mooching the whole damn line for change! Go away cat, I ain't giving you no tree fiddy! Then I realised this wasn't no black cat, it was that damn Loch Ness Monstah!
And it dared to meow at me in disgust cuz I didn't drop him a freedom fry. Cat, I will PUNT you like Jason Hansen! Wait, no, Jason Hansen only does field goals, nevermind. Oh well, LACES OUT, PUSSY! BLAMMO | 
