I want to ride a motorcycle again, but....

[Tony G]

I got my motorcycle license in early 2006. In late July of that year, I hit a patch of gravel and fell just hard enough to break three vertebrae in my upper back, as well and bruise some internal organs. I was in the hospital for a week, and lived with an upper body brace for about 4-5 months after that. I still feel the pain almost daily. However, I've never forgotten that feeling of riding, and have always wanted to do it again. The major thing keeping me from getting right back on the bike was my wife. That week in the hospital put her through hell, as well as the months afterward of her having to take care of me like I was an infant. She has always made it clear that she never wants me on a bike again.

Fast forward to today. At lunch she tells me that she knows how much I miss riding, and that if I want to take the MSF course to try to "ease back into the saddle" so to speak, she would be ok with that. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, considering since my accident we had a child! I would have never guessed she would be ok with it. So I look up the course dates for the MSF course and find one I can take. I go to tell her that I found one and I'm going to sign up, and she bursts into tears. She wants me to be happy, but she is extremely scared I'm going to hurt myself again or worse. I want to ride soooooooooo bad, but I don't wan't my wife to be miserable, and I don't want my son to grow up without a father. What should I do???


EDIT: After discussing it more with my Wife, she says she is completely ok with me signing up for the MSF course. So, I got in a class for the middle of June. I can't wait to take another shot on at this. I know there were a lot of conflicting thoughts on this from you guys, but I think I have to at least take the class and see how it goes. If I don't I'll always be wondering "what if?".

[MakiSupaStar]

I'm voting for quitting while your ahead. It's not that you can't be a safe, good rider, but you can never account for other idiot drivers. I've lost a fellow lifeguard who was killed on a motorcycle by some chick wasn't paying attention while talking on the cell phone and she changed lanes right into him, resulting in him being run off the road and subsequently dying. Another buddy of mine, laid his CBR down, because some dude cut a left turn right in front of him. If you've got a wife, perhaps a family, I would consider yourself lucky you got a second chance at life. Just my two cents.

[nortonrider]

Dude, you only live once!
Ask yourself this: Do you want to spend your last moments alive thinking about all of the things that you did,
......or all of the things you wish you would have done.

[ThunderLizard]

I go to tell her that I found one and I'm going to sign up, and she bursts into tears. She wants me to be happy, but she is extremely scared I'm going to hurt myself again or worse

Tony-
There's your answer. Count your blessings, walk away, don't make your wife miserable and enjoy your marriage.
And yes, I do ride a motorcycle. VERY CAREFULLY.

[Phat Ham]

If you have to ask a bunch of random people on an internet forum you're probably not ready to ride.

[Tony G]

Originally Posted by Phat Ham

If you have to ask a bunch of random people on an internet forum you're probably not ready to ride.

Um..ok. My thoughts on the matter are conflicting, and was curious about other people's opinions. I passed my motorcycle driver's test. I have my license and can legally get back on a bike anytime I want to. The issue is whether to be selfish and just do it, or if I should take other things into account. But thanks, your post helped.

[Phat Ham]

Sorry, my last post was a little curt. To me at least, you should be 100% behind the decision to ride. Riding a motorcycle is has its risks, and if you are having doubts it's probably not worth the risk. By asking people on the internet what you should do you are showing that you are having doubts.

That's not to say this thread is pointless. A healthy discussion on the subject is not going to hurt anybody and can bring up issues to think about.

[Jeff K]

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

I'm voting for quitting while your ahead. It's not that you can't be a safe, good rider, but you can never account for other idiot drivers. I've lost a fellow lifeguard who was killed on a motorcycle by some chick wasn't paying attention while talking on the cell phone and she changed lanes right into him, resulting in him being run off the road and subsequently dying. Another buddy of mine, laid his CBR down, because some dude cut a left turn right in front of him. If you've got a wife, perhaps a family, I would consider yourself lucky you got a second chance at life. Just my two cents.

Well said. I rode for awhile in the '80s, but don't anymore. I lost a friend in an incident very similar to those you cited. Riding on a divided highway with the right of way. Young teenage girl makes an ill-advised left turn across two lanes of traffic. Apparently never saw him coming. My friend had absolutely no time to react and hit her broadside. Flew over her car and landed face-first on the road. Killed instantly, even though he did nothing wrong. You just cannot account for the actions of other drivers. No matter how defensively you drive, you can never totally avoid the accident when somebody else does something totally foolish.

I'm not opposed to riding. I still get the urge. My son rides, and would love me to get another bike so we could ride together. But there are no seatbelts, airbags, or roll-bars on a bike, so I'm just keeping that chapter of my life in the past. Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

[Gard]

Originally Posted by Jeff K

Well said. I rode for awhile in the '80s, but don't anymore. I lost a friend in an incident very similar to those you cited. Riding on a divided highway with the right of way. Young teenage girl makes an ill-advised left turn across two lanes of traffic. Apparently never saw him coming. My friend had absolutely no time to react and hit her broadside. Flew over her car and landed face-first on the road. Killed instantly, even though he did nothing wrong. You just cannot account for the actions of other drivers. No matter how defensively you drive, you can never totally avoid the accident when somebody else does something totally foolish.

I'm not opposed to riding. I still get the urge. My son rides, and would love me to get another bike so we could ride together. But there are no seatbelts, airbags, or roll-bars on a bike, so I'm just keeping that chapter of my life in the past. Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

Fellow TBer and my good buddy CrashClint had the same situation your friend had (my condolences), with the exception that he was able to react in time to keep the collision from being fatal.

He still had a very serious accident (back in August, I believe) which he is still not quite recovered from.

I love motorcycles, I rode for over 10 years. I don't consider them to be unsafe vehicles, when operated correctly.

I will probably never ride again, because of the OTHER "drivers" on the road (frankly, I think that it is far too easy to get a driver's license in this country ), and their inability to operate their vehicles in a safe and sensible manner.

To the OP, you do as you see fit, but I think your wife's reaction to you announcing that you'd found a class to attend should be the final arbiter of your decision.

[Thor]

Yeah, sounded like CrashClint is lucky to be alive.

I got my first bike in 1967. Have hade a motorcycle license
since 1968. Honda 50 Sport.

I had all my accidents on that little Honda while learning to
ride. None were technically my fault. There were 3 if I recall.

I moved up to a Honda CB450, then a Triumph Tiger, and
finally a Kawa 1000 LTD.

I have logged about 200,000+ miles on bikes.

I severely broke my right ankle in an injury where I was
walking, (totally unrelated to motorcycling), 20 years ago.

After 2 operations, I came to the conclusion that broken
bones are really bad news.

I took the bike back out a few times in 92, but where I live
is over-populated with moronic drivers of the worst sort, and
I got tired of driving with the attitude that people were
intentionally trying to kill me. That is the defensive driving
attitude you must have on a bike if you are to survive.

I got rid of it 17 years ago and I am happy I did.

So, that's my story, on to yours.

Your wife almost lost you, had your baby and nursed you
back to health. She cried when you told her you were
signing up for MSC. She loves you enough to let you
be an idiot and do it, but next time you fall off - and
believe me, there WILL be a next time - you will be d***
lucky if you are only mildly injured.

I really think you ought to rethink this. If you were single,
and alone, who cares? But now you got 2 people who love
you, need you and depend on you and you want to roll
the dice again?

You're lucky to be alive and not in a wheelchair for the rest
of your life. And you are considering taking another shot
at it?

Doesn't your family deserve better than this?

Tell her you decided that you aren't going to ride, but
you are going to buy another bass instead... You know,
win/win.

And that's my whole load of nickels.

[Phat Ham]

Originally Posted by Jeff K

But there are no...airbags....

ah, but the Honda Goldwing is offered with an airbag: http://world.honda.com/MotorcycleAirbag/

[Gard]

Originally Posted by Thor

(...a whole bunch of hot air that no one really cares about, because it's Thor creating it...)

Tell her you decided that you aren't going to ride, but
you are going to buy another bass instead... You know,
win/win.

Smartest thing you ever said...matter of fact, that's what Clint is doing.

And that's my whole load of nickels.

...which is worth about three cents to the rest of us...fishmonger...













(...you doin' OK brother?)

[Laker]

Originally Posted by Tony G

I got my motorcycle license in early 2006. In late July of that year, I hit a patch of gravel and fell just hard enough to break three vertebrae in my upper back, as well and bruise some internal organs. I was in the hospital for a week, and lived with an upper body brace for about 4-5 months after that. I still feel the pain almost daily. However, I've never forgotten that feeling of riding, and have always wanted to do it again. The major thing keeping me from getting right back on the bike was my wife. That week in the hospital put her through hell, as well as the months afterward of her having to take care of me like I was an infant. She has always made it clear that she never wants me on a bike again.

Fast forward to today. At lunch she tells me that she knows how much I miss riding, and that if I want to take the MSF course to try to "ease back into the saddle" so to speak, she would be ok with that. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, considering since my accident we had a child! I would have never guessed she would be ok with it. So I look up the course dates for the MSF course and find one I can take. I go to tell her that I found one and I'm going to sign up, and she bursts into tears. She wants me to be happy, but she is extremely scared I'm going to hurt myself again or worse. I want to ride soooooooooo bad, but I don't wan't my wife to be miserable, and I don't want my son to grow up without a father. What should I do???

First thing is: you must have not had too much goin' on between the ears to "hit a patch of gravel" to wipe out and experience all the pain and agony you inflicted on yourself. What did you miss when your eyeballs tell you, "hey, there's gravel in the road ahead (or weren't you looking ahead) that your brain didn't tell you to drive CAREFULLY through this patch of gravel. This could be the answer to your question.

Second thing is: don't be a friggin' pussy about this. Either you want to (and will) ride a bike again, or you will suck it up and realize that you're not meant to ride a bike. Don't make your wife the scapegoat in this; she is trying to do what she thinks will make YOU happy (what a sweet person). Either you're cycle material or you're not. If you can't think and respond quickly, you're a fatality. If you're afraid to ride a bike, you're a fatality. If you think it ain't gonna happen to you, you're a fatality.

My personal experience - I have experienced the old expression "there's two types of bikers, those who have been down on a bike, and those who haven't yet". Learn to live with it; if you spend time on two wheels, you're eventually going to feel pain when you bounce on the pavement. The key is to get up and get back on it.

I've been riding motorcycles since before roadtests were required. My wife and I have experienced the entire continental USA from the seat of our bike (along with a good part of Canada and Mexico) many times, and I can't imagine taking a vacation viewing the world from the seat of a Chevrolet (or any other 4 wheel machine). You are as safe on a motorcycle as you are with any other means of transportation as long as you remember the limitations of the vehicle you are driving.

As final advice, refer back to "the first thing is"...



By the way THOR, did you know that your name is associated with, among other things, a great name in motorcycling.

[Tony G]

Originally Posted by Laker

First thing is: you must have not had too much goin' on between the ears to "hit a patch of gravel" to wipe out and experience all the pain and agony you inflicted on yourself. What did you miss when your eyeballs tell you, "hey, there's gravel in the road ahead (or weren't you looking ahead) that your brain didn't tell you to drive CAREFULLY through this patch of gravel. This could be the answer to your question.

Thanks for instantly assuming I don't have "much goin' on between the ears". I was taking a right turn, didn't know that this corner was sandy, didn't see it. It was a fine grit, normal road grit, but just enough to make my rear tire slip out from underneath me. I know well enough to know to steer clear from road hazards like this, but I was taken by surprise by this little patch. But thanks again, I really appreciate you coming into this thread and insulting me.

[doktorfeelgood]

I'm 60 and have had my motorcycle license since I was 19.
I haven't owned a bike in about 20 years. I used to race bikes on the dirt and crashed all of the time. Made a lot of twisted metal and got some serious road rash from high speed sliding on the gravel in a couple of crashes. Dropped my street bike a couple of times and it was like you on sand...Front tire slid out and I went down. I was VERY lucky to never get hurt on my street bike. But I was up close and personal with pavement with a motorcycle on top of me just enough times to figure out that it could only be one more time and it would/could be curtains for me. I sold my last street bike after my last crash and I do miss it and riding. Especially when it's a hot summer night. But there are way too many cars on the roads these days and with cell phones and texting going on all the time, I'm taking anough chances as it is going up and down the roads around here to do the gigs I'm lucky enough to have. My advise to you is, for your sake and the sake of your family, GET OFF AND STAY OFF THE BIKE.
You really shouldn't even be remotely considering getting back on a bike again. )-(

[tplyons]

Get back on the bike in the MSF course. Take it one day at a time.

If your wife is nervous, invite her to take the course with you, so she understands the training you're going through. I think it will severely open her eyes to the quality of the class and the caliber of the training.

[Tony G]

After discussing it more with my Wife, she says she is completely ok with me signing up for the MSF course. So, I got in a class for the middle of June. I can't wait to take another shot on at this. I know there were a lot of conflicting thoughts on this from you guys, but I think I have to at least take the class and see how it goes. If I don't I'll always be wondering "what if?".

[Brad Johnson]

Interesting subject.

Considering I see enough situations where I could get killed in a car on a regular basis... I'll say I get it but I don't get it.

You've been down at least once... hard. As was mentioned, if you were single, I'd see no problem getting back on that horse. I really see this as boiling down to this decision:

What you like vs. what you have.

You like riding and it easily could deprive you of your family and worse, them of you. That really doesn't sound like a tough choice to me... and it weighs into why I don't ride. I've known too many bikers who've ended up dead, maimed or crippled, in many cases through no fault of their own... but not always. Bikers can do stupid stuff too.

Here's a blunt question... what will you do the next time you go down? Think it won't happen to you? Then IMO you're already in trouble. I'd be willing to bet that people have never been as inattentive on the road as they are now. As long as you ride with the mindset that EVERY OTHER DRIVER/RIDER IS A COMPLETE FRICKIN' MORON AND DOESN'T CARE IF YOU DIE, you might at least have a fighting chance. Hell, that's the way think about others on public roads when I drive my cars and far too often it turns out to be true.

On the wondering "what if?" thing, wonder the same about another accident. You already have experience with that so you probably won't have to wonder as hard.


I'd bet playing with lions is a rush too but at some point you have to seriously ask yourself, is it worth the risk?

Either way, good luck.

[Tony G]

Originally Posted by Brad Johnson

I'd bet playing with lions is a rush too but at some point you have to seriously ask yourself, is it worth the risk?

I'm split pretty much right down the middle. I definitely know there is a risk involved, but riding had such an impact (no pun intended) on me that I really want to do it again.

[NJL]

ride, but take the msf!