im just a jealous guy

Linas · #1 03-14-2008, 12:25 AM

So my girlfriend goes to a school 2 hours away from me. We have been dating for a year and i love her, but lately i have been getting really jealous and overprotective of her. She doesnt go out very often, but when she does it really bothers me. Should it? I mean, i go out with my friends, but not to bars to drink and dance. Maybe in a month that will change (YAY TURNING 21!)

. Also, i just feel like shes been lying to me about where she has been and stuff, and theres no way i can know for sure. I really have no reason to back this up other than a hunch. I dont think she would ever cheat on me, but it still worries me. Am i just not cut out for a long distance relationship?

Munjibunga · #2 03-14-2008, 12:32 AM

Reminds me of an an old Eagles song.

Already Gone.

Depth_Charge · #3 03-14-2008, 01:21 AM

I've been down the jealous, controlling road before with women. I've also been down the "been cheated on" road. And I got lost on the "cheating on her" highway once or twice as well.

The bottom line is if people are going to cheat, they will cheat. It's not your fault and you can't control it, but sometimes it happens anyway.

Whether her cheating is real or perceived, you need to decide if you can handle the insecurity you are currently feeling longterm. I'd say from your post you can't, but I don't know you enough to know that.

And if you are always questioning her and demanding answers to her whereabouts and pressuring her to "be open and honest" (not saying you are, but I did when I was jealous and unsure), you need to ask yourself if you really want to be so insecure and controlling in a relationship to the point your partner feels she needs to lie to you in order to satisfy your jealousy. Sometimes, you gotta give them the rope to see if they hang themselves.

skaliwag66 · #4 03-14-2008, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munjibunga

Reminds me of an an old Eagles song.

Already Gone.

or John lennon and roxy music song

peterbright · #5 03-14-2008, 04:19 AM

If you have no reason to believe she is cheating... I'd say you are insecure. That's a problem you can work on. It can mess up any relationship...it doesn't have to be a long distance one.

jwbassman · #6 03-14-2008, 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peterbright

If you have no reason to believe she is cheating... I'd say you are insecure. That's a problem you can work on. It can mess up any relationship...it doesn't have to be a long distance one.

1+

If you really have "trust" in your relationship then it should not be an issue what so ever.

That's much easier said than done. Fact of the matter is that no long distance relationship is easy. Especially when one of you is away at college. There are many factors involved. Parties, meeting new friends, and companionship. A lot of times the companionship thing is what can ruin the relationship. Everyone like to have someone, and if your not there and she is seeking that, you may end up losing her just because she may want someone who is more readily available. This may not be the case, but you'll have to make a real leap of faith and trust her or things will probably not work out. If you love is true and she loves you as much as you love her then things should be cool.

sarcastro83 · #7 03-14-2008, 07:45 AM

Man, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you're very, very young. I made the same mistake myself. Lack of trust, imagination running wild, the whole "why isn't she calling me" mentality. It will only create distance between you, because that crap wears thin, for BOTH parties. I've been on the recieving end of it too... same story.
Regardless... just be thankfull for the time you have with this girl. You love her, she loves you, that moment that you're together is all that matters. Don't make the same mistake I did and spend it as a worried, jealous wreck of a man.

bigfatbass · #8 03-14-2008, 07:52 AM

No one is cut out for a long distance relationship. Don't be a controlling freak, hold up your end of the bargain, if it lasts, it lasts and you'll be the better for it. If (many will say "when") she screws you over....

Lesson learned, welcome to the big leagues.

i_got_a_mohawk · #9 03-14-2008, 08:00 AM

Dont let jealousy get the best of you dude, one of my bests mates was really clingy with his missus, and them being so close and overprotective of each other ended up killing the relationship

palm grease · #10 03-14-2008, 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skaliwag66

or John lennon and roxy music song

Donnie Hathaway did an awesome verson of Jealous Guy!!!!!!!

the OP should most def listen to that tune!!!!!!!!!

Vandelay · #11 03-14-2008, 08:05 AM

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it.

need4mospd · #12 03-14-2008, 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vandelay

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it.

I thought it was, "If it doesn't, stand outside her bedroom window every morning while she gets dressed until she files a restraining order."

disenchant · #13 03-14-2008, 08:48 AM

I've done the long distance college thing in the past and I don't think it was a good idea at all.

For one, college is a great experience that should be LIVED to its fullest. At no other time in your life can you be so free. People told me that when I was in school...and boy were they right! I know you're worried about classes and tests etc. but wait until you get a job and have bills, a mortgage, kids etc. Much worse. Sometimes I wish I could go back and live in a dorm with all my friends close by and party on the weekends and then stumble home--or someplace approximately close to home. Like a park bench. Oh well, we won't go there.

The point is you're both young and it's not easy to be true when everyone around you is pairing up, making out and having fun flirting. You're much too young to be so serious and both of you are MISSING OUT! College parties are not fun if you're heart is in another place. There's no other time to party like a college student unless you wanna be that guy in his late 20s still trying to be cool.

I would advise that both of you turn the relationship dial to "casual." Free each other up to meet other people so you both won't have that worry that you're "cheating." You can see each other on breaks or go visit but an open relationship will be much easier on both of you. Have some fun! Go get that other girl who's flirting with you at the bar. Get some experience in relationships and life.

You prolly won't get married at your ages. So get it all out during your college years and if it's meant to be you can get serious later.

Just my 2¢.

jady · #14 03-14-2008, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by disenchant

I've done the long distance college thing in the past and I don't think it was a good idea at all.

For one, college is a great experience that should be LIVED to its fullest. At no other time in your life can you be so free. People told me that when I was in school...and boy were they right! I know you're worried about classes and tests etc. but wait until you get a job and have bills, a mortgage, kids etc. Much worse. Sometimes I wish I could go back and live in a dorm with all my friends close by and party on the weekends and then stumble home--or someplace approximately close to home. Like a park bench. Oh well, we won't go there.

The point is you're both young and it's not easy to be true when everyone around you is pairing up, making out and having fun flirting. You're much too young to be so serious and both of you are MISSING OUT! College parties are not fun if you're heart is in another place. There's no other time to party like a college student unless you wanna be that guy in his late 20s still trying to be cool.

I would advise that both of you turn the relationship dial to "casual." Free each other up to meet other people so you both won't have that worry that you're "cheating." You can see each other on breaks or go visit but an open relationship will be much easier on both of you. Have some fun! Go get that other girl who's flirting with you at the bar. Get some experience in relationships and life.

You prolly won't get married at your ages. So get it all out during your college years and if it's meant to be you can get serious later.

Just my 2¢.

Wow Dis, you sound like a PG rated Maki!!!!!!!!

Long distance relationships rarely work. Part of the bonding in a relationship is the day to day interaction. Sorry dude

(My first Atoz smiley)

disenchant · #15 03-14-2008, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jady

Wow Dis, you sound like a PG rated Maki!!!!!!!!

Long distance relationships rarely work. Part of the bonding in a relationship is the day to day interaction. Sorry dude

(My first Atoz smiley)

Maki and I share a brain. He got the dirtier half.

MakiSupaStar · #16 03-14-2008, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by disenchant

Maki and I share a brain. He got the dirtier half.

Amen sexy. Don't mind my tongue, it's just what I do.

skaliwag66 · #17 03-14-2008, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vandelay

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it.

Sting meets Ozzy?

skaliwag66 · #18 03-14-2008, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by disenchant

I've done the long distance college thing in the past and I don't think it was a good idea at all.

For one, college is a great experience that should be LIVED to its fullest. At no other time in your life can you be so free. People told me that when I was in school...and boy were they right! I know you're worried about classes and tests etc. but wait until you get a job and have bills, a mortgage, kids etc. Much worse. Sometimes I wish I could go back and live in a dorm with all my friends close by and party on the weekends and then stumble home--or someplace approximately close to home. Like a park bench. Oh well, we won't go there.

The point is you're both young and it's not easy to be true when everyone around you is pairing up, making out and having fun flirting. You're much too young to be so serious and both of you are MISSING OUT! College parties are not fun if you're heart is in another place. There's no other time to party like a college student unless you wanna be that guy in his late 20s still trying to be cool.

I would advise that both of you turn the relationship dial to "casual." Free each other up to meet other people so you both won't have that worry that you're "cheating." You can see each other on breaks or go visit but an open relationship will be much easier on both of you. Have some fun! Go get that other girl who's flirting with you at the bar. Get some experience in relationships and life.

You prolly won't get married at your ages. So get it all out during your college years and if it's meant to be you can get serious later.

Just my 2¢.

Worth many many more cents.

MakiSupaStar · #19 03-14-2008, 10:20 AM

Dude. Let her think that's she's your gf, but in the meantime hit as much as you can as often as you can. It's about QUANTITY not quality. Hit it 2-3 at a time if you can. You're in a long distance disaster. If you got it more locally, you'd care less when and who she goes out with. She would just be another friendly place to put it.

tplyons · #20 03-14-2008, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peterbright

If you have no reason to believe she is cheating... I'd say you are insecure. That's a problem you can work on. It can mess up any relationship...it doesn't have to be a long distance one.

+2. When I moved away from my girlfriend to college, this started happening a lot. She never went out before I moved away, and started partying after I left.

It was because I wasn't around anymore to hang out with her at home... so she had to go out to spend time with friends. Ended up dancing, partying, etc. but never cheated on me. She loved me just as much after a night of dancing as a night at home.

Going out doesn't mean anything but that you don't trust her.