Is income equality important in a relationship?

[Loose Cannon]

What if one makes a significant amount more money than the other?

[crkempton]

as long as the man is the one making more.... things are as they should be.

[iamlowsound]

Nope, money shouldn't matter at all.

lowsound

[69nites]

not really

tho I wouldn't mind havin me a suga mamma

[Hawaii Islander]

I don't care either way. If I make a lot more than she does fine. If she makes a lot more than me, that's fine too. I don't have a she to worry about that problem at the moment.

[Loose Cannon]

Ahhhh...as long as the man makes more, and it shouldn't matter, but if a woman makes more ,would she control the relationship? How do you think the bills should be split? Porportionate to income?

(I'm not saying a sugamomma is a bad thing! )

[iamlowsound]

Originally Posted by Loose Cannon

Ahhhh...as long as the man makes more, and it shouldn't matter, but if a woman makes more ,would she control the relationship? How do you think the bills should be split? Porportionate to income?

(I'm not saying a sugamomma is a bad thing! )

Everything goes into one account. You know, the whole "what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine" thing.

lowsound

[Thor]

Define your relationship with your partner.

Then, its all set.

Oh, and kids, define that if you have a marriage.

House Husband is good, I would have wished for that
in another circumstance. 18 years with my kids would have been wonderful.

But its all wonderful.

[Atoz]

Are you kidding? I'll take just about anyone at this point.

[MakiSupaStar]

Just use lube when it get's kinky. That way no one gets hurt.

[Ívar Þórólfsson]

Originally Posted by Loose Cannon

What if one makes a significant amount more money than the other?

Doesn't matter to me at all.

Although a cousin of mine and his wife both had the same education (financial) and had similar jobs. They were ALWAYS competing who had more income, who had more perks etc. And this wasn't in a friendly way, this was stiff competition with jealous and envious fits and the whole works.

In the end it destroyed their marriage. So I guess this varies from one person to the next.

[Bard2dbone]

My wife and I have gone back and forth as to who is the 'breadwinner' from year to year. She has way more letters after her name than in it: LCSW(That ones used to be LMSW-ACP, but they shortened it) LMFT LCDC LCCA. I only have LP after my name, but I work metric butt-loads of overtime, so for the last few years I've made more money, until taxes and insurance got to it. I pay the house payment, the phone/cell/DSL bill, and our health insurance. She pays the rest.

[lump]

Originally Posted by iamlowsound

Everything goes into one account. You know, the whole "what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine" thing.

lowsound

+1. I haven't seen a paycheck in 21 years. Couples who maintain separate accounts are nothing more than roommates, IMO. Fewer people would get divorced if they stopped planning for it from day one. If it's all going into the same pot, the income ratio is irrelevant.

[Loose Cannon]

The competing couple - sad story....I can sure see that happening to people. You're always competing with someone; although I think it's best when you compete with yourself and quit worrying why someone else has more than yourself. My ex made more money than I, but it never was enough because she saw others our age with a bigger house, newer cars, etc.

There has been a bit of very wise advice given here by Thor to define the relationship. It's easy to think that "everything will work out" while a relationship is new, but with disagreements over money being a leading factor in divorces, it is a discussion that should not be overlooked, perhaps especially if one partner makes a great deal more than the other.

I have known several couples who have three bank accounts; ours, mine, and yours. Maybe this is the fairest way of all to do it.

[Phalex]

I play bass in a bar band.

My wife is the one what makes all the cabbage.

[KJung]

Originally Posted by lump

+1. I haven't seen a paycheck in 21 years. Couples who maintain separate accounts are nothing more than roommates, IMO. Fewer people would get divorced if they stopped planning for it from day one. If it's all going into the same pot, the income ratio is irrelevant.

+1

I think the only time an income ratio becomes an issue is if it's a proxy for a cultural/class difference. In other words, a physician and college professor typically come from the 'same world'. A lawyer and carpenter sometimes come from quite different worlds that can possibly cause issues. That's a gross oversimplification, but my point is compatibility is key, and SOMETIMES huge income differences can indicate different lifestyles, backgrounds, beliefs, etc. that can cause problems down the road with mutual friends, goals, aspirations, etc.

[WRBass]

Originally Posted by Loose Cannon

Ahhhh...as long as the man makes more, and it shouldn't matter, but if a woman makes more ,would she control the relationship? How do you think the bills should be split? Porportionate to income?

(I'm not saying a sugamomma is a bad thing! )

How much money you make has nothing to do with who controls the relationship. At least, not in my case.

[cheezewiz]

It doesn't matter UNTIL you get divorced. Then you end up paying child support EVEN THOUGH you have 50/50 custody with the kids.

[Geoff St. Germaine]

My wife and I have both our paychecks going into the same account and all of the bills are paid from there. Since all of our bills are paid each month and since we don't spend more than we make in a month and put a reasonable amount away in investments each month we don't really worry about keeping track of who spent what amount. We each spend the amount we want and it seems to be working out so far. I could see it becoming more difficult for couples who are tight for money.

I have a friend and he and his wife maintain separate accounts. He's also in the military but his wife is not. They live extremely close to work, close enough that it's about a 3 minute walk for him to work. She however has to drive pretty far and probably nearly burns a tank of gas a week. He makes about 4 times as much money as she does and yet they split the bills 50/50 plus he makes her pay for her own gas since she's the one that has to drive (despite the fact that living so close to his work was predominantly his choice). Needless to say she has almost no spending money. I can't see it working out in the long run.

[jimb213]

Originally Posted by KJung

+1

I think the only time an income ratio becomes an issue is if it's a proxy for a cultural/class difference. In other words, a physician and college professor typically come from the 'same world'. A lawyer and carpenter sometimes come from quite different worlds that can possibly cause issues. That's a gross oversimplification, but my point is compatibility is key, and SOMETIMES huge income differences can indicate different lifestyles, backgrounds, beliefs, etc. that can cause problems down the road with mutual friends, goals, aspirations, etc.

That's what I was trying to think of to say, but I've only had one cup of coffee this morning so far.

Personally, I would love to marry a woman who makes more money than me. Or heck, just a steady paycheck... I do freelance work, and while I've had a gangbuster december/january, my august/september/october/some of november was pretty lean. I of course had money in the bank (freelancers have to plan for down times), but it was starting to get stressful around mid-november. Having a second income to smooth out those rough spots would be fantastic.