Inferiority complex

[Montsegour]

Has anyone here suffered this state?
To tell you the truth, I'm dealing with it atm. Can't say I've got over it but **** I'm trying and I ain't a f'kin emo.
Every time I think it's over though, it just comes out of nowhere, and I become distracted and unsocial once again...
I'm tellin' this couse even my practice time for bass is suffering..
(just another offtopic my psihoanalising talkbass mates )

[funkalicious101]

Yeah, I definitely know what you mean.

Cant help you with it though, but could use some help myself.

[MatticusMania]

what is it you feel inferior to?

[Montsegour]

It's about many things, not just one. Ussualy it's one thing at a time(undefined, like who I am and what am I becoming), and as soon as I get rid of it another one pops out - undefined again..

[funkalicious101]

I have more of a general fear of society and think I am viewed as inferior, rather than view myself as inferior.


Edit: Wow, never said that before. I love the anonymity of the internet.

[MatticusMania]

I've felt like that in my day. The only thing that can still make me feel like that these days is scrutinized authority. For the most part I know im better than everyone else. ha, j/k

But when you really think about it, what does one person matter in the grand scheme of things? How many people out there are really just that much better than the rest of us. Not many, a handful at most. Dont get yourselves down, Im sure the average person even feels this way at times. I'd say youre probably on par with pretty much most of the world.

[etoncrow]

I do not know how old you are. I'm pushing sixty and here are some things I have learned. It has been my experience that first, you must always play the cards you are dealt cause the alternative sucks. Never worry about anything beyond your control cause that's a waste of time. Never measure yourself by someone elses success or failure cause you have your own path to walk in your own time and no one is keeping score. Apply your self and focus with the time you have cause it will always be shorter than you think. And last but not least, never eat anything bigger than your head. Hope this helps.

[DudeistMonk]

Been there done that...

I can mark the day I understood the change that needed to take place in my life...I won't tell you how that came about cause its pretty personal....but in hindsight here are the things I found to help in that transformation.

1) Constantly work at improving yourself, everyone says love your self...I say love your potential, work at what you want and learn to admit when you are doing well and how to constructively criticize your self. For me this was weight loss and bass practice.

2) Don't be the person you are, be the person you want to be! I can't stress this enough....How can you "be yourself" when you define yourself...that pre-school mantra is such BS. Idolize someone, or a few people, it'll make life easier....you won't turn out to be them but it will give you an idea of what you want to do with yourself.

3) Party, get drunk have fun! Brooding gets you nowhere in life. Take risks! Like real risks, nothing makes you feel more alive than doing something stupid once in awhile.

4) Embrace change and when you like a direction you are heading then solidify it, start using new adjectives about your self (words like creative, attractive, intelligent, talented) Surely after meeting some of the people who use these words to describe themselves believe then I have every right.

5) Change your image, nothing makes you feel better about yourself than a new haircut or a new shirt. Experiment find clothes you love, colors that represent you...and live like they do. Okay this one sounds strange but I started to love hiking and the colors green and brown at the same time....I also get more complements when wearing green or when wearing tie-dye (like 5 in the same day every time I wear my Allman Bros t-shirt) cause I put out a different aura while wearing them.

6) Learn to see the insecurity in others, everyone thinks this way, you just think you are the only one...just observe people, everyone is covering up an insecurity, once you can see that you won't live in fear of their "perfection."

7) Listen to new music (not chronologically new, new to you) all the time, sometimes my tunes will put me in a funk and I don't even realize.

8) Self confidence is a daily struggle, don't let it bring you down, there will be good and bad days, but try to stay positive...if you are feeling negative do something good for yourself (like go to the gym) that day.

9) Learn to keep stuff to yourself. If you constantly go around feeling pathetic and talking about how pathetic you are that's how people will see you.

10) Branch out, nothing puts how people view you and how you view yourself (they are one in the same) than meeting new people. Some friends will always view you as weaker because that is how they have defined you, but that doesn't mean you can't change your roll in your next pack.

[lunarpollen]

You might not be suffering from an inferiority complex, you might just be suffering from low morale and/or low self-esteem. There is a huge difference.

[MatticusMania]

Originally Posted by DudeistMonk

Been there done that...

I can mark the day I understood the change that needed to take place in my life...I won't tell you how that came about cause its pretty personal....but in hindsight here are the things I found to help in that transformation.

1) Constantly work at improving yourself, everyone says love your self...I say love your potential, work at what you want and learn to admit when you are doing well and how to constructively criticize your self. For me this was weight loss and bass practice.

2) Don't be the person you are, be the person you want to be! I can't stress this enough....How can you "be yourself" when you define yourself...that pre-school mantra is such BS. Idolize someone, or a few people, it'll make life easier....you won't turn out to be them but it will give you an idea of what you want to do with yourself.

3) Party, get drunk have fun! Brooding gets you nowhere in life. Take risks! Like real risks, nothing makes you feel more alive than doing something stupid once in awhile.

4) Embrace change and when you like a direction you are heading then solidify it, start using new adjectives about your self (words like creative, attractive, intelligent, talented) Surely after meeting some of the people who use these words to describe themselves believe then I have every right.

5) Change your image, nothing makes you feel better about yourself than a new haircut or a new shirt.

6) Learn to see the insecurity in others, everyone thinks this way, you just think you are the only one...just observe people, everyone is covering up an insecurity, once you can see that you won't live in fear of their "perfection."

7) Listen to new music (not chronologically new, new to you) all the time, sometimes my tunes will put me in a funk and I don't even realize.

8) Self confidence is a daily struggle, don't let it bring you down, there will be good and bad days, but try to stay positive...if you are feeling negative do something good for yourself (like go to the gym) that day.

I'd say +1 to this, there may be a few somewhat trivial points thrown in for good measure, but they still apply.

After leaving my now ex, well even before, a lot of this became clear to me. I feel so much better about my self and my place in life.

[etoncrow]

Yeah, well, Dudeist said it better than I did; but, hell, he's a monk. I'm just hill-billy biker guy....

[funkalicious101]

It stems from leaving high school and taking a year off.

I had some falling outs and didn't leave with any close friends. Because all the friends I had (not as close as I would like) are going to university I no longer have a community to fit into. I spend all day at a job I cant stand, doing the same thing over and over again (also known as a "job", so I've been told) and everyone I know has their tight knit groups and I would feel horribly out of place contacting them. I still see some of them now and then, but not nearly as much as I would like.

So, all in all, it is practically the rather pathetic "I don't have any friends." Which I suppose is why I have never mentioned any of this out loud.

[etoncrow]

Life is all about choices. Why would you choose to wallow in self pity? You are choosing to do that you know.

[MatticusMania]

Originally Posted by funkalicious101

It stems from leaving high school and taking a year off.

I had some falling outs and didn't leave with any close friends. Because all the friends I had (not as close as I would like) are going to university I no longer have a community to fit into. I spend all day at a job I cant stand, doing the same thing over and over again (also known as a "job", so I've been told) and everyone I know has their tight knit groups and I would feel horribly out of place contacting them. I still see some of them now and then, but not nearly as much as I would like.

So, all in all, it is practically the rather pathetic "I don't have any friends." Which I suppose is why I have never mentioned any of this out loud.

You are your own best friend man. Im telling you, after being married I had no friends, basically because my ex wife didnt get along with them and I was pretty much "grounded". After my split I learned to enjoy spending time by myself.

But also, go out and reconnect with your old friends. They'll be glad you did, and you will too.

[funkalicious101]

I am far past pitying myself at this point.

[funkalicious101]

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

You are your own best friend man. Im telling you, after being married I had no friends, basically because my ex wife didnt get along with them and I was pretty much "grounded". After my split I learned to enjoy spending time by myself.

But also, go out and reconnect with your old friends. They'll be glad you did, and you will too.

I dont think I would call myself a friend, I dont even really like myself.

And I've done a pretty good job at estranging myself from most old friends.

[MatticusMania]

Then go and make some new friends. I did.

I just joined a new band 3 weeks ago. These guys (and chick) are awesome. Theyve only known each other a few months longer than I have. Last weekend we all hung out and watched the USC game, and tomorrow Im going with the drummer, and possibly others, to see Fu Manchu.

[etoncrow]

Matticua made a good point: "I learned to enjoy spending time by myself". If you do not like youself you cannot expect anyone else to like you. Energy just flows that way.

[etoncrow]

Meanwhile, the OP is wondering when his turn is going to come...

[funkalicious101]

Thats probably whats going to have to happen. But again, the creeping fear of putting myself out there is damn near paralyzing.

I'm also doing a lot of traveling this year, I hope it will clear my head.