Its Confusing Me, Share Your View

Digo · #1 02-07-2008, 07:45 PM

ok so after my last attempt of getting my first girlfriend (im 18) ive started getting really tired of the ignorance, excuses and plain dumbness of some of these girls i see everywhere

ive been told by many that im a real nice guy but thats all really, but thats not the issue here, i am seeing thse perfectly nice girls going out with these "*bleep*, *bleep*" total ***-hole of boyfriends, likewise these relationships dont work out with the people i know then they come to me complaining about how guys are ass-holes and how they wish that there was a nice guy out there but they cant seem to find one and dont think they ever will...

whats wrong with the people who are like a brother to you? the guys who are always there when you are down to comfort you or are conveniently there to gove you a ride home from the party...we do exist, its not a fairy tale to find a nice guy only im seeing that the girls are always getting snatched by the general alpha male imaged guys and us genuinly nice guys are getting ignored...im most likeley looking from a biased point of view since im a nice guy who walks unrecognised by these people but does anyone else share the idea that us nice guys DO EXIST and there appears to be far too much blindness by some people who claim that there arent?

Diggler · #2 02-07-2008, 07:59 PM

The problem is that you're a nice guy.

Change your game or bat cleanup.

jonathan_matos5 · #3 02-07-2008, 07:59 PM

i can either be patronizing and say what will make you feel better about you situation or give you the tidbit of information that i wish i new when i was your age.

you're being too nice and that "strategy" isn't working for you try what you have already observed working for other people.

Digo · #4 02-07-2008, 08:02 PM

well no i wasnt wantinng to discuss why its not working for me, im just wanting to discuss why girls think there arennt nice guys out there....but there are its just that they take maybe the jerk who is captain of the football team over the quiet guy who is always there for her, get my drift?

Jared Lash · #5 02-07-2008, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Digo

whats wrong with the people who are like a brother to you? the guys who are always there when you are down to comfort you or are conveniently there to gove you a ride home from the party...we do exist, its not a fairy tale to find a nice guy only im seeing that the girls are always getting snatched by the general alpha male imaged guys and us genuinly nice guys are getting ignored...im most likeley looking from a biased point of view since im a nice guy who walks unrecognised by these people but does anyone else share the idea that us nice guys DO EXIST and there appears to be far too much blindness by some people who claim that there arent?

What's wrong with those guys? Women aren't attracted to them.

The problem is that you are assuming some rational thought by women in terms of who they are attracted to. Women can't make themselves be attracted to someone because he'd be "good for them". Well, they can, but it won't last.

You don't have to be an a-hole. But you need to have the traits of an a-hole that attracts women. Namely, being a challenge to them. It's just evolutionary psychology.

Digo · #6 02-07-2008, 08:05 PM

well you further prove my point bigo, if they arent attracted to them, why moan about how there arent any nice guys out there when they wont go out with one?

neurotictim · #7 02-07-2008, 08:06 PM

I remember a stand-up routine, I think it was Dennis Miller or George Carlin, where they talked about how women want a "nice guy" to marry, and a "Marlboro Man" to ****. They basically get all hot and bothered for the ***holes, and think they can change them into Mr. Sensitivity... And then, when they succeed, they complain that their men aren't exciting anymore.

Figures, right?

I disagree with most of these guys - keep on being a nice guy, and don't worry about finding a girl. Eventually they'll find you, when they're done playing games. My current girlfriend (of almost 5 years now) had to chase me.

...Of course, you could always become a famous rock star...

Jared Lash · #8 02-07-2008, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Digo

well no i wasnt wantinng to discuss why its not working for me, im just wanting to discuss why girls think there arennt nice guys out there....but there are its just that they take maybe the jerk who is captain of the football team over the quiet guy who is always there for her, get my drift?

Guys that are always there for them have intrinsically low value to them. You're like a penis under glass, only to be used for emergencies.

Women complain about there not being nice guys because they are irrational. Every woman I know could pick out 3 or 4 nice, similarly aged, dependable guys in her life if she had to. But she won't even think of dating any of them.

Fontaine · #9 02-07-2008, 08:08 PM

your the nice guy....they come to you about relationship problems, its over.

mike_v_s · #10 02-07-2008, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBigO

What's wrong with those guys? Women aren't attracted to them.

The problem is that you are assuming some rational thought by women in terms of who they are attracted to. Women can't make themselves be attracted to someone because he'd be "good for them". Well, they can, but it won't last.

You don't have to be an a-hole. But you need to have the traits of an a-hole that attracts women. Namely, being a challenge to them. It's just evolutionary psychology.

Blimp ownership helps immensely.

Mike

jonathan_matos5 · #11 02-07-2008, 08:10 PM

there is no explanation and there is nothing you can do about it.

i was once asked by a girl "why cant i meet someone like you?"

yet in the same conversation she said she would never date me because im like a brother to her.

such is the friend zone. the only way to get out of it is to never enter it.

Vince S. · #12 02-07-2008, 08:13 PM

Because girls already have a p***y, they don't need another one.

Jared Lash · #13 02-07-2008, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Digo

well you further prove my point bigo, if they arent attracted to them, why moan about how there arent any nice guys out there when they wont go out with one?

Because they are irrational.

Once in my physics class, one of my examples got the kids sidetracked into a similar conversation of why men couldn't understand women and vice versa.

My simple rationale to get us back on track went like this. Women need to understand that men are dumb and men need to understand that women are crazy. When filtered that way, things make sense.

The "there aren't any nice guys" is a woman's excuse for why her relationship failed. But it's a sham, and they probably know it.

Try this on for size. Suppose I break up with my girlfriend and I complain that her being hot was why we broke up and that what I need is a less hot girlfriend. That's the male equivalent. But if I met another hot girl who has the other qualities I look for in a girlfriend, am I going to turn her down? Nope.

Same thing with women. They can't force themselves to be attracted to a guy, just like I can't choose who I find attractive. That's an oversimplification of course, as a girl can do a lot of things after the initial physical attraction to increase or decrease her appeal in my eyes, but it's a pretty good representation of the situation.

Jared Lash · #14 02-07-2008, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mike_v_s

Blimp ownership helps immensely.

Mike

Don't I know it. For that reason, I've recently worked to become a world renowned cluster balloonist. My initiation into the 1/10 mile high club was a memory I'll take to my grave. Our amorous encounter resulted in a few popped balloons and an early landing, but I'm not complaining.

Oxblood · #15 02-07-2008, 08:23 PM

Hurry and mask your profanity before you get infractionated.

mike_v_s · #16 02-07-2008, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBigO

Don't I know it. For that reason, I've recently worked to become a world renowned cluster balloonist. My initiation into the 1/10 mile high club was a memory I'll take to my grave. Our amorous encounter resulted in a few popped balloons and an early landing, but I'm not complaining.

Ahhhh, the cluster balloonists. We airship pilots have a nickname for you that I'm sure the filter would catch. On the other hand, if you can somehow talk a girl into taking a ride in a reclining lawnchair duct-taped to a clown's leftover party favors with only a pellet gun for a brake....well, sir, I salute you.

Mike

Jared Lash · #17 02-07-2008, 08:34 PM

That's what makes every conquest that much sweeter. Of course, every guy with a blimp gets laid. I know a guy (not like you of course) who didn't actually own one, but got laid with the mere mention of dirigible ownership. But gettin' some while cluster ballooning? That's game.

It's still a better chick magnet than the metallic orange 1980 Honda Accord hatchback I rolled to college in a little over a decade ago.

You can almost smell the female repellent:

arbitrary · #18 02-07-2008, 09:11 PM

I used to be "the nice guy", then I got married and I wasn't always "the nice guy" (apparently I'm human). She buys me basses. And now I'm sometimes nice and sometimes pissy guy.

You really answered your own question. "Why do they go for the alpha males"? Well because they're Alpha Males. But it is still possible to be a good person and still an alpha male. I use "good person" because I think "nice guy" is a limited term that doesn't mean much at all. I don't ever want to be a "nice guy" again; sure I'm situationally nice, but there's more to life than that. Think of it, would you choose to hang out with somebody who was the stereotypical passive nice guy? They're not boring because they are nice, they're boring because that's all there is to them.

Cerb · #19 02-07-2008, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vince S.

Because girls already have a p***y, they don't need another one.

I like this. I think I'll use it sometime.

mike_v_s · #20 02-07-2008, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBigO

That's what makes every conquest that much sweeter. Of course, every guy with a blimp gets laid. I know a guy (not like you of course) who got laid with the mere mention of dirigible ownership. But gettin' some while cluster ballooning? That's game.

It's still a better chick magnet than the metallic orange 1980 Honda Accord hatchback I rolled to college in a little over a decade ago.

You can almost smell the female repellent:

Life wasn't always so easy for me. I rolled into college in a poo-brown 1973 Oldmobile similar to this....

If that weren't bad enough, on what was the biggest date of my life at that point, my car was dead in front of my parent's house. Here's a Shakespearian recap:

ME: Dad, I need to borrow the truck.
Dad:Uh, no.
Me:Seriously.
Dad:OK. The answer didn't change.
Me:You don't understand.
Dad:Oh, I understand. I understand that you won't be driving my truck this evening.
Me: But I'm going to own a blimp one day!
Dad: I hope it doesn't break down in front of the house like your car did.

So I had to call the girl back and ask her to pick me up on the date I asked her out on. Smooth.

Mike