Just a lil' bit of white whine... from a black guy

[Kwesi]

Will you listen to my complaints? Too bad because here they are anyway.

Yesterday, I went to pick my brother up from the local gym. There was a pretty awful storm (I'm pretty cool about driving in bad weather though) going on at the time and a friend of my brother asked for a ride. My mom said to leave him and tell him to call his parents but I decided to give him a ride anyway. Dropping him off would only add about a mile to the trip and in a car that's nothing so I figured I'd be nice.

My mom was livid. The angriest I've seen her in months. We had a big blow up. I just said I wanted to be nice and help the guy out. She said it was an issue of safety and liability, which I understand but I disagreed that I should've just left him and forced someone else out on the road when I was in a position to help. So at the grand ol' I-think-I'm-grown-enough-to-make-good-decisions-but-apparently-not age of 20, I'm grounded. I was supposed to hang out with a friend tonight. Grounded. I promised a friend I'd help him go rig shopping tomorrow and I was really looking forward to it. Grounded. Despite me putting together the randomly bought exercise equipment, installing the recently bought blinds for the door leading to our deck and upholding my promise to keep the sink clear of all dishes, mine or otherwise, I've been grounded. Can you tell I'm just a tad bitter?

I just don't see why I should be punished for wanting to help someone. I've told her that I won't apologize for disobeying her. Somehow, I don't think that helped my case .

P.S. - Did I mention I baked her sister's birthday cake ?

[bassteban]

1. If you live in ______'s house, you abide by _____'s rules.
2. 20? Even I was out at 20, and I am lame.

[Time Monkey]

Well... my cousin is 21 and gets grounded and has to stay home. But he has a kid, never had a real job, and failed community college twice. He has no rights.

If you are in school, have a job, and are otherwise holding it together... Your mom is a nutcase. Sounds like her living situation would suck if you werent there.

[jmattbassplaya]

If that were my mom, I'd tell her to get the **** over it. How is you taking another kid home a big deal? What liability? What safety issues are there? He's a friend of your brother. Not some stranger. I would of gone out tonight, anyway...

[L-A]

Originally Posted by bassteban

1. If you live in ______'s house, you abide by _____'s rules.
2. 20? Even I was out at 20, and I am lame.

Nowadays, they want us older, lamer and with more papers before we can earn a living.

- Lamey McLamepants

[Phalex]

Grounded at 20 sucks. How you deal with it will speak volumes. IMO, submitting to you parents authority even though you are a grown man in this situation will have more positive repercussions than asserting yourself and doing what you want.

Your parents may be unreasonable, but some day you'll be the one making the decision whether they move into an old folks home.

Bear this burden you're given to the best of your ability. This moment in time will be the past by the time you make it to the future.

[nutdog]

Hormones

[Kwesi]

Originally Posted by Phalex

Grounded at 20 sucks. How you deal with it will speak volumes. IMO, submitting to you parents authority even though you are a grown man in this situation will have more positive repercussions than asserting yourself and doing what you want.

Your parents may be unreasonable, but some day you'll be the one making the decision whether they move into an old folks home.

Bear this burden you're given to the best of your ability. This moment in time will be the past by the time you make it to the future.

[RosieB]

Um, opinion from a mom here, telling her you wouldn't apologize for disobeying her was a BAD move. Better move would have been to apologize for disobeying, but insist that you really felt that you needed to do what you saw as the decent and right thing to do.

Also, I was grounded at 20, too. Sucked. Full time student, part-time job with full benefits, never been in trouble, and grounded because I broke 12:00 curfew while out with my fiancé. But I lived in their house. Their rules. When I moved back in for 2 weeks at 22, with my 14 mo old son, because I was getting divorced and my apartment wasn't ready yet, I was given my 12:00 curfew back, with threat of grounding. Honestly. It's tough when a parent feels they have to over-parent and doesn't give credit for good decisions and maturity.

As a mom, I look back on that as something I don't want to do as a parent. I figure my son (22 and live at home college student, job, good person) could be out driving tanks in the middle east without me there to make decisions for him. Grounding stopped long ago.

Good luck and hang in there.

[johndough247]

Originally Posted by Kwesi

Hmmm...what Nutdog said :-P

[RosieB]

Originally Posted by johndough247

Hmmm...what Nutdog said :-P

Lol. Could be! I might second that...

[L-A]

My place would be the worst for grounding. There are no divisions, save for the bathroom.

- GO TO THE SECOND SPLIT LEVEL AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!

[Datsgor]

Originally Posted by Kwesi

I-think-I'm-grown-enough-to-make-good-decisions-but-apparently-not age of 20, I'm grounded.

I've told her that I won't apologize for disobeying her.

If you think you are grown up enough to make good decisions, then the best decision you can make now is to apologize to your mother. She's your mother! Now...go apologize for cripes sake.

[Kwesi]

Originally Posted by RosieB

Um, opinion from a mom here, telling her you wouldn't apologize for disobeying her was a BAD move. Better move would have been to apologize for disobeying, but insist that you really felt that you needed to do what you saw as the decent and right thing to do.

Originally Posted by Datsgor

If you think you are grown up enough to make good decisions, then the best decision you can make now is to apologize to your mother. She's your mother! Now...go apologize for cripes sake.

Agreed. Saying that was not the smartest thing in the world. However, I told myself a few years ago that I would not apologize for things that I am not sorry for doing. I'm sorry for getting caught but not for taking the kid home. I believe I was right. I'll be one of the last guys to win any honesty awards but apologizing to make someone else feel better and not because you really and truly mean it is not something I do anymore.

I did try the appeal to ethos (or would this be pathos?) but she didn't seem to like that very much either, lol. I think I'll go back to giving much more vague descriptions of where I'm going, that seems to work a little better .

[jmattbassplaya]

Good for you. You shouldn't apologize for doing what you think is right. It's not like you told your mom you were going out to see a movie but instead went out to a party, got drunk, and knocked some girl up. Stand your ground. Have some respect for yourself and your own decisions. And when all else fails, learn to lie a lot better

[MakiSupaStar]

You should try some of those responses to a woman's evil look of death that I posted in Relic's thread. Did you try yelling 'GIRAFFE!'?

If not, man the f up and quit your whining, baby. Don't like it? Move out and support yourself.

[Datsgor]

Originally Posted by Kwesi

apologizing to make someone else feel better and not because you really and truly mean it is not something I do anymore.

You don't have to be sorry for taking the kid home. That was a good thing. But, you disobeyed her, and that is what you should apologize for.

It could go something like this: I'm sorry I disobeyed you mom, but I felt that it was the right thing to do, so I won't apologize for that. Mom, I love you. Let me see a smile....yea...I see it creeping on...yea, there ya go mom.

There, see....simple as apple pie.

[kingpin2512]

Just be like....
Her"You are grounded for taking him home when I said not to!"
You"Ok but remember that I can put you in a home when you can't take care of yourself anymore." (must be said with smirk on face)

[ryco]

GROUNDED??

this is what bedroom windows are for, bud. I learned this at 12!

[electracoyote]

I was around 18 or 19 years old, and my mom started that stuff with me.

I found my own apartment shortly thereafter.