Kicking my roommate out kinda, how to?

[Linas]

So two months ago my roomie told me that he wont live with me next year, and then left to live in Texas with his parents over the summer. He never got back to me on why he doesnt want to live with me, so i went ahead and found a roommate on craigslist and I signed the lease again. My roommate i found is coming from Madrid, so he wont be able to sign the lease til the 11th. My roommate is coming home tomorrow, and needs to be out by the 1st. I dont know how to tell him in a nice way that he needs to pack up and leave, because i dont think he has anywhere to live, or even realized that his lease ends on the 1st.

[gold_member_321]

Just be straight forward with him.

[Matthew Bryson]

So, roomie, remember how before you left for Texas that you said you didn't want to live hear next year? You realize that your lease is up on the first, right? Okay, you're out in two days then, right?

[MyUsernameHere]

If you live on the second (or higher) floor, just throw him out the window when he shows up. Then start grabbing his belongings and light them on fire before dumping 'em out the window so they eventually bury him as he lies writhing in pain on the ground.

After you've done that, and hopefully immobilized him under a heavy piece of furniture, call the police and tell them that you had previously kicked your roommate out of the apartment only to find that he had broken into your place while you were asleep, snuck into your room and started masturbating to a photo of your pet golden retriever you have displayed on your dresser.

He should get the message.

Edit: If you live on the first floor, just tell the guy you need him to go up on the roof with you to check out the A.C. vent...then do all the above. You'll need help carrying his furniture up to the roof though. It will be a good bonding exercise for you and the new roommate.

[Bob Clayton]

Originally Posted by Linas

I dont know how to tell him in a nice way that he needs to pack up and leave, because i dont think he has anywhere to live, or even realized that his lease ends on the 1st.

none of that is your fault.

you're looking out for you. which is what you're supposed to do.

[dryheatbob]

Originally Posted by Bob Clayton

none of that is your fault.

you're looking out for you. which is what you're supposed to do.

Bob's on the money on this one, but why did you wait 'till the last minute to tell him/her?

You might want to prep for some nastiness/stupidity out of your soon to be ex roomie even though he should expect to get booted.

And get him some cardboard boxes. Least you can do.


Bob

[FL Knifemaker]

Borrow Dis's peeing cat.

[Bad Brains]

If his lease is out and he hasn't signed a new one, than he has no right or reason to be there. If he doesn't know when his own lease is up, he should have payed better attention.

[MakiSupaStar]

Just tell him to get the **** out and don't let the door hit him in the @$$ on the way out.

[bassteban]

After you do a combination of all the advice you get here, sign up to settle it all on Judge Judy. That's what this scenario makes me think of.

[D.Don]

Originally Posted by Linas

So two months ago my roomie told me that he wont live with me next year, and then left to live in Texas with his parents over the summer. He never got back to me on why he doesnt want to live with me, so i went ahead and found a roommate on craigslist and I signed the lease again. My roommate i found is coming from Madrid, so he wont be able to sign the lease til the 11th. My roommate is coming home tomorrow, and needs to be out by the 1st. I dont know how to tell him in a nice way that he needs to pack up and leave, because i dont think he has anywhere to live, or even realized that his lease ends on the 1st.

Well, if his lease ends, problem is kinda out of your hands isn't it? Just ask him what day he will be movin out ...

D.Don