Life coach?

Axtman · #1 12-11-2010, 11:34 AM

Has anyone used a life coach? If so what were your experiences?

thumpbass1 · #2 12-11-2010, 12:26 PM

I'm all for wise counsel, etc ,etc, in one's life, but I'd advise one to proceed with caution when seeking a teacher, a preacher, coach, politician, or anybody you want to hand some of your time, money, and decision making over to. The idea of a life coach gives me some concern if I were to consider it for me; after having subjected myself in my teens and young adulthood to so called wiser folks that at the time seemed to have it together, and proved to be not what they claimed to be, once reality drew the curtain of delusion back and exposed the sad little charlatans to be what they really were. On the other hand, good counsel and advice from good people with their support backing you, and taking their instruction to heart, can do wonders at times in one's life.

knumbskull · #3 12-11-2010, 12:34 PM

i'm imagining the sensation of hot air, a few moments of distraction from the crushing uncertainty of life, followed by a drastic lightening of the wallet.

sorry

...i did meet one of these once, and my impressions weren't favourable. he tried to caoch a friend of mine. he was a bargain basement Tom Cruise impersonator with dead cold eyes and teeth like toilet seats. everything he said sounded like it came from a self help paperback from 1998. 'Actualization' and so forth.

anyway, back to the thread...

Jim Nazium · #4 12-11-2010, 03:13 PM

I've been working with a life coach for over two years, and it has been really helpful.

I know that it takes almost no qualifications for someone to call themselves a coach, and I'm sure many people who call themselves coaches aren't that great.

I'm also sure that people will laugh at me for hiring a coach. I'm weak, I'm a loser, I must have low self-esteem, I must not have supportive adult relationships in my life. All true. Haters gonna hate.

But it has been tremendously helpful at this point in my life to have someone who will listen to me, and who will challenge me and encourage me to take risks and stretch my 'comfort zone' in pursuit of the life I want to have. YMMV of course.

When I started working with her, I hadn't played the bass outside of my home, by myself, in years, and didn't think I ever would again. I didn't think I'd ever be able to play a jazz gig. I've played probably 20 this year, and have one tonight.

Most coaches will give you a free first session, so you can call them and find out if they sound like they can help you. If they sound like they are FOS, don't call again. What have you got to lose?

AfroCubanFunkMa · #5 12-11-2010, 03:25 PM

Yup, though I call my life coach my wife

Seriously, she's can walk the fine line of being supportive and helping me see some other options I may not have seen otherwise.. I also help her in the same way..

LilRay · #6 12-11-2010, 03:35 PM

Only life coach I've ever used was my Pop. And it was enough to know he'd kick my butt if I got outta line. The thought of paying somebody to "coach" me seems strange.

You can tell someone how they should do/react all day long, but in my experience it's been much more effective falling on my butt a few times on my own.

I'll do the best I can, and hopefully improve in charachter as I age.

God Bless, Ray

MJ5150 · #7 12-11-2010, 04:22 PM

The concept makes sense, and I wouldn't think less of anyone who used one.

Take your example Jim.....you probably benefit from an unbiased person who will tell you like it is and provide you the motivation and encouragement to reach your goals that someone close to you may not feel comfortable pushing you to achieve. You get motivation from someone who won't slant the advice or program because they feel sorry or close to you.

Personal trainers work for the same reason. They don't go easy on you like a spouse or friend might if you are having a hard time that day in the gym.

-Mike

warwick.hoy · #8 12-11-2010, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJ5150

The concept makes sense, and I wouldn't think less of anyone who used one.

Take your example Jim.....you probably benefit from an unbiased person who will tell you like it is and provide you the motivation and encouragement to reach your goals that someone close to you may not feel comfortable pushing you to achieve. You get motivation from someone who won't slant the advice or program because they feel sorry or close to you.

Personal trainers work for the same reason. They don't go easy on you like a spouse or friend might if you are having a hard time that day in the gym.

-Mike

That's assuming they are unbiased. Giving a "life coach" money would make it hard for me to trust that person to have my best interests at heart. They would be more likely to protect their own interests IE: their source of income.

I'm not saying that there aren't genuine people out there that love to and are good at helping others out,...but there are some hacks out there; so be careful.

If you can; watch Penn and Teller's BS episode (Season 3 episode 4 I believe) on Life Coaching. I tried to find a video of it online but didn't have much luck.

LilRay · #9 12-11-2010, 05:00 PM

I understand unbiased opinion or the theory behind it but money makes bias.

Am I wrong?

God bless, Ray

UncleFluffy · #10 12-11-2010, 05:13 PM

There's nothing wrong with it in principle. People teach all sorts of skills, and figuring out what you want and how to get there is a skill, just like playing bass is. Trouble is, it's a field that's full of charlatans and wannabees so you have to find a good one.

I know a few folks who earn their living that way and they're good people. Not everyone is, and even one of the good guys may not be the right fit for you.

So - get references, trust your gut, and "by their fruits shall ye know them" (i.e. spending time and $ on a life coach who hasn't got their life together is kinda a bad idea).

TOOL460002 · #11 12-11-2010, 05:13 PM

if you can find a good psychologist that you mesh with, thatd probably be comparable. insurance will cover a psychologist, but i dont believe they will cover a life coach.

LiquidMidnight · #12 12-11-2010, 05:47 PM

I really have no opinion on life coaches, though I find the concept very interesting. I do think there is a lot of value to be gleaned from self-help products. I just take issue when self-help gurus attempt to pass off their opinions as fact on a psychological topic that hasn't gone through an empirical analysis by people who truly do have backgrounds in psychology and understand concepts like falsifiability, threats to internal validity, and statistical significance. Ergo, I take some issues with some of the statements Stephen Covey makes regarding universal laws; however, I still think The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People can have great positive life value for those who read it with a critical eye.

username n/a · #13 12-11-2010, 05:50 PM

My mom's a life coach, and look at how I turned out...

fdeck · #14 12-11-2010, 06:40 PM

All self-help methods work, because they make you more conscious of your own behavior.

MJ5150 · #15 12-11-2010, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by warwick.hoy

That's assuming they are unbiased..

I'm talking unbiased as in not biased toward you directly. They don't know you like a friend or s/o. I don't expect any life coach to put their career on the line for a client.

-Mike

LondonBoy · #16 12-12-2010, 11:22 AM

I worked with a life coach in London - and know several other musicians who have worked with her too. She was great and I only needed a few sessions. She didn't try to keep me on longer to make more money - in fact she suggested I might be 'done'. I'd definitely go back if I had another challenge or problem.

Also she didn't try to teach/tell me, but instead helped me focus and look at things differently so I could get clarity and try out some new approaches.

Be careful though - anyone can set up as a coach, so make sure you go for someone with good qualifications and also personally recommended. And one that has professional insurance too.

Mine if you're interested was Ruth Culver (she's also a musician, so maybe that helped?) and her website is www.timeforachange.biz

Jay Ralston · #17 12-12-2010, 11:41 AM

I'm not really sure what you are needing in a life coach or are expecting him to do but as a pastor, I counsel people all of the time. With that being said though, I never charge them I also never want that person to mold their life after me. From my experiences with people who have sought after life coaches, in many situations, I have seen a lot of them simply take the peoples money and/or expect that person they are coaching to turn into little minnie robots of them.

Many times people will seek these life coaches because they are not content in life. Amazingly, in most cases, a majority should be content.

flypejose · #18 12-12-2010, 06:09 PM

People who think that nobody should take the role of a coach in anyone's life are simply mistaken. In reality they have “life” coaches but they just ignore that they have them. Even if it’s not in the sense of a single paid individual who would coach them, they certainly have people influencing the way they see the world including the hot moral topics of the day, the Origin + the difficult questions of human relationships etc.

On one hand we all have a limited rationality, and on the other hand, trust me, there are experiences that no one should go through before taking the right course of actions.

However, saying that is not meant to support the many charlatans out there. But to paraphrase a renowned philosopher, I believe that a wise and intelligent man or woman always attracts the best coaches (he said Counselors).

TBrett · #19 12-12-2010, 09:54 PM

I guess it all depends on the individuals at hand. If you find someone you like working with, great! It can be really helpful to have someone who you feel is in your corner, who gets you, and who encourages you. I have worked with several excellent psychotherapists at different times in my life and each of them was a great support when I really needed it. But that was the thing: they were qualified, certified, and regulated professionals. They were trained, experienced, with a proven track record. And they came highly recommended by other qualified professionals. Not to knock life coaches, or anyone who has had good experiences with them. But for anyone looking for a similar service, make sure you check the person out thoroughly beforehand. This is not a regulated profession as far as I know, and in some cases, there is a risk you could be giving your hard earned $$ to a charlatan. In fact, I know a life coach. She is the partner of an old friend of mine. And while she is a really nice person, I find her to be quite dysfunctional in her personal life and it amazes me that she coaches others for a living. Makes me wonder what shape her clients are in. But then, what do I know? Maybe it works for them. All I can say is, if you're going to receive counselling of any kind, even from a certified practitioner, check the person out. Interview them beforehand and ask them about their credentials. A qualified practitioner will have no problem addressing all of your concerns.