Life during retail

[Papazita]

I currently work in retail management (I finally get to be the *****? yay! ). The following are all true, some of them taking place just this week...

While in the juice aisle, a customer asks where to find the Jello. "Aisle 8," I say, "between the sugar and the marshmallows."
I watch as the customer turns in the opposite direction. They stop at the end of aisle 6, point to the canned tuna, and ask "Is this the Jello?"

"No...that's tuna. Jello is this way."

"Oh? Tuna? What's that, something new?"

-------

A customer approaches with a bottle of sports drink, clearly upset. "This bottle has a white cap. I want one with a blue cap. Where do you have the ones with blue caps? I've been all over town and I can't find this with a BLUE cap!"

Ma'am, I think that flavor only has a white cap. Each flavor has a different color cap.

"Well, we bought this here before and it had a white cap. We didn't like it at all. I put a blue cap on it instead, and it made it taste so much better. Do you have this flavor in a blue cap? "



-------

Customer on phone: I was in your store today and somehow, I lost my shopping list notepad. I know I lost it in your store because your store is the only place I went today. This is just typical of your store and the way you treat your customers. I want you to look through your store for my notepad, and I. Want. It. Back. If you can't find it, then I expect it to be replaced, understand?

-------

Sites like peopleofwalmart.com don't even scratch the surface; they only show you the obvious crazy people.

[macaroni tony]

ah, retail

[Papazita]

There are 2 colleges in town. Last year's big college prank? Come to my store and crap on the floor.

I'm glad it's not happening this year, but I do miss their teary-eyed phone calls to mom & dad, asking for bail money before being "escorted" away by the local pd.

[PSPookie]

Originally Posted by Papazita

There are 2 colleges in town. Last year's big college prank? Come to my store and crap on the floor.

I'm glad it's not happening this year, but I do miss their teary-eyed phone calls to mom & dad, asking for bail money before being "escorted" away by the local pd.

What an asinine thing to get busted for.

[Papazita]

I had a customer insist that I re-tint a can of spray paint.

"Don't you got an empty can you can spray it into? Then you just add the color to it, mix it up, and pour it back into the spray can. Easy!"

.....aaaaaaaand how do I pour it back into the spray can?

"I don't know, you're the one that works here, not me!"

[jonathan_matos5]

Originally Posted by Papazita

I had a customer insist that I re-tint a can of spray paint.

"Don't you got an empty can you can spray it into? Then you just add the color to it, mix it up, and pour it back into the spray can. Easy!"

.....aaaaaaaand how do I pour it back into the spray can?

"I don't know, you're the one that works here, not me!"

i worked in a hardware store selling paint. i remember the paint re-tint machine malfunctioning it sprayed a blast of multi-colored dye at the customer, man that guy was pissed but all i could do is laugh. it is no wonder i don't work there anymore.

[Quickie]

Originally Posted by Papazita

I currently work in retail management (I finally get to be the *****? yay! ). The following are all true, some of them taking place just this week...

While in the juice aisle, a customer asks where to find the Jello. "Aisle 8," I say, "between the sugar and the marshmallows."
I watch as the customer turns in the opposite direction. They stop at the end of aisle 6, point to the canned tuna, and ask "Is this the Jello?"

"No...that's tuna. Jello is this way."

"Oh? Tuna? What's that, something new?"

-------

A customer approaches with a bottle of sports drink, clearly upset. "This bottle has a white cap. I want one with a blue cap. Where do you have the ones with blue caps? I've been all over town and I can't find this with a BLUE cap!"

Ma'am, I think that flavor only has a white cap. Each flavor has a different color cap.

"Well, we bought this here before and it had a white cap. We didn't like it at all. I put a blue cap on it instead, and it made it taste so much better. Do you have this flavor in a blue cap? "



-------

Customer on phone: I was in your store today and somehow, I lost my shopping list notepad. I know I lost it in your store because your store is the only place I went today. This is just typical of your store and the way you treat your customers. I want you to look through your store for my notepad, and I. Want. It. Back. If you can't find it, then I expect it to be replaced, understand?

-------

Sites like peopleofwalmart.com don't even scratch the surface; they only show you the obvious crazy people.

The above examples are exactly why I believe the we have oh so many choices in this country. People are confused, stupid and spoiled. And because of all the "stuff" that is available now, you are going to have pages and pages of examples like you just posted. Congrats on the promotion.

[Ziltoid]

Two drunk guys that arrived in a truck, one said he had to go piss and did it on and around a floor drain in the warehouse.

Actually most of the funny stuff that happened were about employees rather then customers and I'd rather not tell those as I was involved

[tastybasslines]

I think McDonald's coke tastes way better than other cokes. My wife and her friends agree.

[Bloodhammer]

Originally Posted by Quickie

The above examples are exactly why I believe the we have oh so many choices in this country. People are confused, stupid and spoiled. And because of all the "stuff" that is available now, you are going to have pages and pages of examples like you just posted.

Huh?

[warwick.hoy]

Life During Retail?

This ain't no party, this ain't no disco,
this ain't no fooling around
No time for dancing, or lovey dovey,
I ain't got time for that now

I've worked a few retail jobs. One was at a convenience store and we had an oldish lady that was a little bit of a nutter. When the grocery store down the street closed down she would do here grocery shopping at the gas station. She was a real test of patience and there were occasions where she would show up about 10 minutes before closing time and slowly pick out about $50-$100 worth of overpriced groceries. She didn't have a car,...and she was really nice sweet old lady,...so it was just smile and tough it out.

Other than that and the odd pissed off customer or just bad attitude, I really don't remember many horror stories. I think I blocked em out.

[Quickie]

Originally Posted by Bloodhammer

Huh?

Just a mini rant Blood.....

[warwick.hoy]

Originally Posted by Quickie

Just a mini rant Blood.....

I see where you are going. I think some people are just predisposed to be COMPLETELY NEUROTIC. Could be a product of upbringing,...or being brainwashed on TV, having too many choices, buying into entitlement and instant gratification, or just plain being dumb.

[Papazita]

I worked at a Mcdonalds once when I was younger. The first American Pie movie had just come out and we had this kid convinced that, yes, warm apple pie really did feel just like...

When the tray of pies came out of the oven, I tried to warn him how hot they were; "the hotter the better" he said. He took 2 pies, cut the tops off and laid one on top of the other, forming a sleeve. Off to the employee bathroom he went. All we heard was a high-pitched 6-year old girl of a scream, before he ran out to his car and left. Three days later he was back to work, 2nd degree burns on his junk.

[macaroni tony]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHHbvwvvwaaaaagagahahaha!!

[Ursus Tyrannus]

I worked in fast food management for 12 years. My hair turned grey by 35 and every single other manager I ever worked with at some point locked themselves in the office for the remained of their shift and cry, and the offices had glass walls, I had a nervous breakdown myself, saw one guy grab the store keys, began yelling "I'm in charge, me, me, I am" and began slamming his head into the wall and slapping himself until the paramedics and police took him to the hospital.
I finally quit and became a manager of a book store in an ocean side resort town...I was never happier. I sold romance novels to old ladies and manga to kids who wanted nothing to do with another mansion tour with their parents. My hair went back to its original color. All the other managers would tell me "wait, it'll get worse". I replied, "ever had a gun stuck in your face or a customer try to stab an employee over a .99 burger?". I LOVED the crazies in retail, they broke up the day, and while the were unreasonable at times, never tried to kill me or my staff. I like that.

[Quickie]

Originally Posted by warwick.hoy

I see where you are going. I think some people are just predisposed to be COMPLETELY NEUROTIC. Could be a product of upbringing,...or being brainwashed on TV, having too many choices, buying into entitlement and instant gratification, or just plain being dumb.

We have a winner!

[Ursus Tyrannus]

Originally Posted by Papazita

I worked at a Mcdonalds once when I was younger. The first American Pie movie had just come out and we had this kid convinced that, yes, warm apple pie really did feel just like...

When the tray of pies came out of the oven, I tried to warn him how hot they were; "the hotter the better" he said. He took 2 pies, cut the tops off and laid one on top of the other, forming a sleeve. Off to the employee bathroom he went. All we heard was a high-pitched 6-year old girl of a scream, before he ran out to his car and left. Three days later he was back to work, 2nd degree burns on his junk.

Oh. My. God!
Thats so wrong, and so awesome.

[Bloodhammer]

I bought a jar of mayonnaise from your store and it blew up my fridge and destroyed the dog! I'm gonna sue!

[warwick.hoy]

The whole neurosis over the white bottle cap on the sports drink? Just no. People like that have issues that go beyond being unreasonable. That's gotta be some form of OCD.

Obviously it is an extreme minority but I envision people just wandering around a store like sheep drawn to whatever shiny wrapper butters their OCD parsnips. Is it a result of being bombarded by an over complicated array of products to choose from? Where people like this when your food was sourced locally and the mega supermarket was the entire main street of the town? When the butcher, produce man, and dry goods store were all separate entities?

Maybe I'm behind the times but I really do wish things were a little simpler. I'm constantly walking around the grocery store and none of the brightly colored boxes appeal to me. I go to the produce section,....the butcher,...the bakery,...then the check out,...so obviously it's easy to avoid,....for me at least.

/soapbox.