Looks like I'm going to be a single dad

Rocks · #1 10-10-2010, 05:06 PM

Well, my 14 year old daughter isn't getting along with her mother at all. I can't say I blame the kid as I know how her mother is, nucking futs beyond you're wildest nightmares. Myself, I'm on disability and don't have much money to work with from month to month. Her mom works and makes pretty decent money. She has already told me that she is more than willing to sign over custody as fast as we can get it done, I have no idea where to even start. Luckily my daughter and I get along very well and I do have an extra bedroom. I'm not sure how long this procedure will take but I'm hoping we can get it done fast since its still basically the beginning of the school year.

My name is Mudd · #2 10-10-2010, 05:32 PM

Are you paying support now? That may be possible to reverse...I'd suggest a talk with legal counsel specializing in such.

soundgardenis · #3 10-10-2010, 05:47 PM

Good luck bro. My mom is nuckin futs too. Shes not alone.

Rocks · #4 10-10-2010, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My name is Mudd

Are you paying support now? That may be possible to reverse...I'd suggest a talk with legal counsel specializing in such.

Yes I am paying support now but I don't get enough from disability to be able to afford an attorney. I tried calling legal aide but they don't help with the men, only the women trying to fight for support payments. I have no idea why it is so one sided that the women can get free legal help but a single dad can't.

Atoz · #5 10-10-2010, 07:40 PM

Once your ex turns over custody, she will be responsible for paying support until your daughter is 18. Don't let her try to weasel out of it.

Rocks · #6 10-10-2010, 07:52 PM

I'm not really too worried about the support part yet. First I need to find out how we go about doing a chance of custody. I'm sure there are some forms or something that needs to be filled out to get in front of a judge that can legally change the custody over to me. I don't know why we can't just call child services and have them set it up but they don't do anything with change of custody which makes no sense to me whatsoever.

DUC1098 · #7 10-10-2010, 07:58 PM

When you are going through the process of signing over custody of your daughter from her mother to you I would bring up that subject. I would think that you will get more people willing to talk once you have custody, assuming nothing can be agreed upon during the custody "exchange".

Also, a google search on what you need, as far as assistance etc., may help also. I came up with http://www.singledadfinancialhelp.com/ , though I am not sure if this is anything useful for you.

Rocks · #8 10-10-2010, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DUC1098

When you are going through the process of signing over custody of your daughter from her mother to you I would bring up that subject. I would think that you will get more people willing to talk once you have custody, assuming nothing can be agreed upon during the custody "exchange".

Thats the main issue I need to figure out, how do we change custody? It's not like the mom just writes me a note saying my daughter is mine now, it has to go through courts and I need to find out how to even get it into the courtroom to change the custody. Every phone number I call for help, child services, legal aide, juvenile courts, everywhere and no one will tell me how to start the change of custody proceeding or who to even talk to.

My name is Mudd · #9 10-10-2010, 10:45 PM

Call the county courthouse...someone there must know who to talk to.

Jim Campbell · #10 10-10-2010, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rocks

Well, my 14 year old daughter isn't getting along with her mother at all. I can't say I blame the kid as I know how her mother is, nucking futs beyond you're wildest nightmares. Myself, I'm on disability and don't have much money to work with from month to month. Her mom works and makes pretty decent money. She has already told me that she is more than willing to sign over custody as fast as we can get it done, I have no idea where to even start. Luckily my daughter and I get along very well and I do have an extra bedroom. I'm not sure how long this procedure will take but I'm hoping we can get it done fast since its still basically the beginning of the school year.

a lot of ex wives get the nutso label,but you gotta watch.....kids of divorce these days learn how to play one parent off against the other early,and know that a no from one parent can be a yes from the other without much work.....

my exes kid's could steal knowing that the origins of goods at one parents home could rarely be verified at the others...for instance i never bought the lame excuse that the box full of auto logos ripped from parked cars was "so and so's",but she did,and that was enough for them to walk on what i considered a serious offense..

..when i was young my mom could sense contraband in my room intuitively,and thus eliminated any notion i had of becoming a master criminal.....and the threat of "just you wait 'til your dad gets home" struck terror into the heart....

Rocks · #11 10-10-2010, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My name is Mudd

Call the county courthouse...someone there must know who to talk to.

You would think but around here you'd be wrong. IF you can even get someone to answer the phone they know nothing about legal issues and if you're even slightly lucky they'll tell you to call another number which of course most likely no one answers and voice mails are never returned. I've been trying to get answers from any source I can find, even called child support and they didn't know how to do it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Campbell

a lot of ex wives get the nutso label,but you gotta watch.....kids of divorce these days learn how to play one parent off against the other early,and know that a no from one parent can be a yes from the other without much work.....

.

My ex is bipolar, never have a clue what my she might do next as she isn't taking her meds.

Rudyboy98 · #12 10-10-2010, 11:10 PM

Rocks:

Sorry to hear about your situation man. Hope all gets resolved in an amicable way.

Best to you and your daughter!

R...

Auzzie-Phoenix · #13 10-10-2010, 11:55 PM

Talk to a paralegal, they might be able to help you get the ball rolling with paperwork.

Munjibunga · #14 10-11-2010, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rocks

I'm not really too worried about the support part yet. First I need to find out how we go about doing a chance of custody. I'm sure there are some forms or something that needs to be filled out to get in front of a judge that can legally change the custody over to me. I don't know why we can't just call child services and have them set it up but they don't do anything with change of custody which makes no sense to me whatsoever.

Well, you're in the right place for solid legal advice, that's for sure.

XigXag · #15 10-11-2010, 12:20 AM

You need a lawyer son. Its really that simple. If you want custody of that child YOURE GOING TO NEED A LAWYER.
period, end of story.
And not just for advice, a good deal of the paperwork will have to go through an attorney. This isn't small claims court.

Jazz Ad · #16 10-11-2010, 12:47 AM

Before going to see a lawyer and as painful as it may seem, you 3 need to sit around a table and discuss the matter, to see where things may go. It is the right thing to do for everyone involved and first off, for your daughter.
Give it some time. Doing this stuff too quickly is always the wrong approach especially with versatile teens involved.
Then yeah, you must go through the lawyer step. No way around it.

Nedmundo · #17 10-11-2010, 06:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XigXag

You need a lawyer son. Its really that simple. If you want custody of that child YOURE GOING TO NEED A LAWYER.
period, end of story.
And not just for advice, a good deal of the paperwork will have to go through an attorney. This isn't small claims court.

That's right. Presumably the current custody arrangement is pursuant to court order, so that order will have to be superceded by a new one. For this, you will need an attorney. If you can't afford one, call the county legal aid/legal services agency, which should be easy to find in the phone book. If not, the courthouse staff should be able to help you contact legal aid.

Rocks · #18 10-11-2010, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nedmundo

That's right. Presumably the current custody arrangement is pursuant to court order, so that order will have to be superceded by a new one. For this, you will need an attorney. If you can't afford one, call the county legal aid/legal services agency, which should be easy to find in the phone book. If not, the courthouse staff should be able to help you contact legal aid.

I've already tried legal aid and was told that they don't work from the fathers side, only the mothers.

Jim Campbell · #19 10-11-2010, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rocks

I've already tried legal aid and was told that they don't work from the fathers side, only the mothers.

then i would call the state ag office and ask what gives.....you know that no public servant would ever say that publicly....if there is no action there i would,without threatening to do so, call the local paper and relay your story.....there are always ways to make things happen.....you just have to shake the tree harder.....

i_got_a_mohawk · #20 10-11-2010, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Campbell

.....you just have to shake the tree harder.....

Don't often agree with Jim, but a massive +1 right there.