Love/Career Help (serious topic)

Sir Edward V · #1 02-16-2008, 03:39 PM

Ok here is the skinny (some of you may know some of this already, but w/e): I am a Computer Engineering student going to University of Cincinnati, I am from Toledo, I have an amazing girlfriend, but she lives in Bowling Green (a half hour from Toledo, 3 hours from Cincinnati). As an engineering student at UC, I have to do what we call co-ops, which is basically internships, but we dont take class at the same time and we have to be paid. I have been interviewing with a lot of companies the last two weeks for the first co-op which will be starting in the spring and going through summer break. Now the predicament: I have an offer for a job from a company I like here in Cincinnati, and I am waiting to hear back from two other companies, one of which the job will be in either Colorado or california, the other will be in Findlay, which is half an hour from Bowling Green. The one that will be far away would be an awesome job, it is exactly what I think I want to do, BUT it is far away from my gf and everyone else I know... the one in Findlay would be great because it is near my gf and it pays a ****-ton, but the work isn't very interesting... then of course the one here sounds like it would be fun, and I would still have everyone I know in cincy to hang out with and go visit the gf every few weeks like I have been doing.

I don't know what I want to do... I have had it in my head that I should do what is best for my career development (blah blah), but I was thinking earlier today about which choice would make me happiest... work wont necessarily make me happy, but if I live near my gf, I have the potential to be happy with my life outside of work, but I would most likely complain about the work all the time...

well, from here I would just ramble more, so what does TB say about this? suggestions? comments?

i_got_a_mohawk · #2 02-16-2008, 03:43 PM

Id go with the job that you think you are going to be more interested in.

How long have you and your GF been together? As much as i hate to say it, your best going for the one which will benifit your career more in the long run, women come and go. And if she is a true keeper, she will understand that you have to make the move for that internship and she'll understand and hopefully put up with the whole long distance relationship thing.

kevteop · #3 02-16-2008, 03:44 PM

She'll cheat on you eventually. Look at it this way: If you can get one amazing girlfriend, it's a cinch you can get another. In fact you might be able to get one a week.

California's starting to look more tempting now huh?

Sir Edward V · #4 02-16-2008, 03:49 PM

We have been going out for 6-7 months. I love the hell out of her. I am certain she wouldn't cheat on me (at least not anytime soon) she isn't very sexually charged (unless she is around me). I want to get off that part of the subject though...

i_got_a_mohawk · #5 02-16-2008, 03:53 PM

Again, this sounds hellish, but 6-7 months isnt that long a time. But maybe thats just the bitter side of me from someone just coming out a relationship that lasted over 2 years (even then, not a huge amount of time).

Sundogue · #6 02-16-2008, 05:15 PM

Do you have any idea how many career changes you will have in your life? Or possibly girlfriends for that matter? My guess is you will have more job changes than close relationships.

You assume you will live a long time, have a long career, get married, have kids, retire, etc.? You could die tomorrow...or today.

There are millions of jobs, but only so many special, worthwhile relationships you will have in your life.

Nobody...not one single person on their death bed ever wished they had spent more time at work.

eedre · #7 02-16-2008, 05:21 PM

Unless it's one of those things where you plan on marrying this girl, 6-7 months really doesn't mean a whole lot

and I wouldn't let the relationship dictate your career choice.

cheesemonkey · #8 02-16-2008, 06:18 PM

ask your gf what she thinks

IconBasser · #9 02-16-2008, 06:32 PM

CAREER!!! You'd be stupid not to...

Sir Edward V · #10 02-16-2008, 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundogue

Do you have any idea how many career changes you will have in your life? Or possibly girlfriends for that matter? My guess is you will have more job changes than close relationships.

You assume you will live a long time, have a long career, get married, have kids, retire, etc.? You could die tomorrow...or today.

There are millions of jobs, but only so many special, worthwhile relationships you will have in your life.

Nobody...not one single person on their death bed ever wished they had spent more time at work.

Thats exactly what I started to think. I was thinking: what will make me happier? getting a job that I like, or spending more time with her? I think trying to be closer to her might just be the right choice for this reason... even if I take that job and we end up breaking up in a few months, at least I tried... at least I will have been happy with her for a while...

Quote:

Originally Posted by eedre

Unless it's one of those things where you plan on marrying this girl, 6-7 months really doesn't mean a whole lot

and I wouldn't let the relationship dictate your career choice.

I love her, and I think she is perfect for me. I would be happy to spend the rest of my life with her. I'm not ready for marriage any time soon, but if things keep going the way they are, we will end up getting married some day. I don't know what everyone else does in their relationships, but we talk casually about the future, about our future children, etc. etc. and it doesn't scare me in the least. I think I would be so lucky that she would want to stay with me for that long.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheesemonkey

ask your gf what she thinks

she freaks out about not being able to see me more a lot, but she is very understanding of me taking jobs that are far from her.

MJ5150 · #11 02-16-2008, 09:15 PM

"Just listen to your heart, that's what I do." - Napoleon Dynamite

-Mike

Tim Cole · #12 02-17-2008, 01:45 AM

Findlay one........Marathon?

steve21 · #13 02-17-2008, 02:10 AM

Come to California. If you end up with this girl, it'll happen. This ain't the movies. You won't think "Wow, that was the one" and have to end up a year from now road-tripping back to Bowling Green, Ohio to get her back only to find out too late she's engaged to some architecture major.

RandomEvent · #14 02-17-2008, 02:25 AM

I'd take the job near your GF that pays a lot of money, especially if you're around my age (23). You still have a lot of your life ahead, so take the boring job and save a good deal of cash. That way you can have some hefty savings, which would be awesome if you and your GF got married. I've never understood why people who are my age seriously pursue careers like it was the end all, be all of life. Then again, I'm a notorious underachiever, who is content to coast along in life. I think later in life you can find something that you really want to do for work.

For me, this just seems like a no brainer. At my age, I hate my job, but it pays a crap load of money for barely working. It's just super monotonous. I haven't considered another job though, because I feel that I can still live with this a while longer, all the while saving dough and getting super awesome benefits. When I'm finished with college, I'll start career shopping then.

Sir Edward V · #15 02-17-2008, 02:38 AM

yeah this is tough

I think I am starting to lean towards the Findlay one, but the bad part about that one is that they want to wait till they receive some materials from the school to decide and the school is slow as hell... I don't think they will be able to get back to me by monday... I think the AMD(california/colorado) is definitely out for now... maybe one day, but I think I would be miserable out there... at least if I stay in cinci I have friends to distract me...

Hawaii Islander · #16 02-17-2008, 02:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundogue

Do you have any idea how many career changes you will have in your life? Or possibly girlfriends for that matter? My guess is you will have more job changes than close relationships.

You assume you will live a long time, have a long career, get married, have kids, retire, etc.? You could die tomorrow...or today.

There are millions of jobs, but only so many special, worthwhile relationships you will have in your life.

Nobody...not one single person on their death bed ever wished they had spent more time at work.

+1

Can't say it any better than that!

steve21 · #17 02-17-2008, 03:13 AM

Eh, or go for the cash/girl combo.