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10-13-2009, 06:28 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Lake Charles, La. | | | Lucky me
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To celebrate my 55th birthday in three days from now I'm treating myself to an early present. I'm having a colonoscopy done. I'm nervous about it and any funny comments, jokes, and puns are welcome to help me along. I'll start things off with: Soon it will all be behind me. Go ahead TBers, rip me a new one.
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Bacon gives me a lard on.
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10-13-2009, 06:50 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2009 Location: Superior, Wisconsin | | | At least after its done you'll be able to be your own party favor/noise maker! |
10-13-2009, 07:18 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Winnipeg,Siberia | | Quote:
Originally Posted by shadowtippy  To celebrate my 55th birthday in three days from now I'm treating myself to an early present. I'm having a colonoscopy done. I'm nervous about it and any funny comments, jokes, and puns are welcome to help me along. I'll start things off with: Soon it will all be behind me. Go ahead TBers, rip me a new one. | your "new one" will appear soon enough with no help from us.....and you know the rules.....no pix no "new one"......
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need ain't got nuthin to do with it
lust is a perfectly good reason to buy gear
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10-13-2009, 07:25 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Lake Charles, La. | | | ^^^
Are you sure you want pics?
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Bacon gives me a lard on.
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10-13-2009, 07:28 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Ohio | | | If the doctor keeps both hands on your shoulders while examining you, worry.
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She said It's a bit pornographic. Then again, I don't suppose you would crash your ship for a nice girl in sensible shoes.
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10-13-2009, 07:30 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Fort Worth, Texas | | | How about " this will confirm where my head is really located".
Or "Doc, I don't know whether to worry that it will hurt, ...or that it doesn't!" |
10-13-2009, 07:50 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2009 Location: Superior, Wisconsin | | | Make sure he buys you a drink first. |
10-13-2009, 09:01 AM
| | | | Print out a little spaceship to tape to the screen, it'll make watching it fun!
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damned teeny pinky....always hits the wrong string and makes this ugly noise.
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10-13-2009, 10:06 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Ohio | | | Show up for the exam with a funnel, some gerbils, and a tube of KY. Say it's all that your health plan will cover.
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She said It's a bit pornographic. Then again, I don't suppose you would crash your ship for a nice girl in sensible shoes.
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10-13-2009, 10:17 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Eh? | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Absentia Print out a little spaceship to tape to the screen, it'll make watching it fun! | 
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by tom once dead Also to prove my Australianism, I've been stung by an irukandji jellyfish before, while snorkelling at an island looking at stingrays. | |
10-13-2009, 10:33 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The Duke City | | Quote:
Originally Posted by shadowtippy To celebrate my 55th birthday in three days from now I'm treating myself to an early present. I'm having a colonoscopy done. I'm nervous about it and any funny comments, jokes, and puns are welcome to help me along. I'll start things off with: Soon it will all be behind me. Go ahead TBers, rip me a new one. | Is this a routine exam or do have a specific reason for the procedure?
Note: there is a class action suit against a manufacturer of the Fleet Soda product designed to 'clean you out' for such a procedure. Make sure they don't give that to you (I'm sure they won't).
If it is routine, it's a no brainer. IME, no pain, in fact I went to sleep. In and out (Ha!) in an hour or 90 minutes.
Good luck. |
10-13-2009, 10:43 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Campbell, KaliFornia | | | Is your wife going with you? My wife went with me, but she sat out in the waiting room during the exam. And then I drove home. Whee!
Tell the Dr. you will be happy to autograph the pics.
The only serious advice I would give is: It's worse in your mind than it will be in your @$$.
edg
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Mediocre bass player club, member #208
(I am so bad I don't think I should belong)
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10-13-2009, 10:44 AM
|  | I fling carrots | | Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Make a left at the Taco Bell | |
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by MatticusMania Strange to say it... but Perry is a man who understands. | Quote:
Originally Posted by macaroni tony Back in the day, I thought I was hard. I think we all know I was pretty much lying to myself | |
10-13-2009, 11:17 AM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Maine/Vermont | | | |
10-13-2009, 11:55 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: south of Spain | | | just say to the doc "this reminds me of boarding school" |
10-13-2009, 12:02 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Maine/Vermont | | | That sounds like a *****-y birthday present...
If he asks you if you like gladiators, don't eat the fish. |
10-13-2009, 12:17 PM
|  | The older I get, the better I was. | | Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Pasadena, CA | | 1. If you feel a tickle at the back of your throat, the doc went too far.
2. Amuse the doc - paint a big target on your @$$.
Happy birthday (in a few days).  |
10-13-2009, 12:22 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: (M)a$$hole. | | get a boombox and a CD of the old Dr. Who theme...play it during the procedure on repeat...
it'll look just like this: well at least to you as you'll be loopy on demerol or something... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFuBCtxu764
just if you really see logos or Dr. Who, make sure they remove them.
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Don't tell me the sky is the limit, when there are footprints on the Moon.
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10-13-2009, 04:01 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Eh? | | | This thread is a pain in the
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by tom once dead Also to prove my Australianism, I've been stung by an irukandji jellyfish before, while snorkelling at an island looking at stingrays. | |
10-13-2009, 09:57 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Columbus, OH | | | Ask for video footage so you can play mystery colon theater 9000 at your next family gathering.
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Yamaha Member #102/Short Scale Member #36/Gibson Member #32/ Ohio Bassist Member #1/ ANIME-ted bassist #2
'65 Gibson SG eb0,Yamaha RBX374, 2008 MIM Fender P, Line 6 LD300 Pro
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