Man people can be insensitive..

bassplayer1494 · #1 12-28-2011, 10:26 PM

So a kid that went to my high school has recently passed away. I didnt know him personally but it is a tragedy. Some kid in my grade decided to post a stupid FB status titled "people die everyday. its natural. it's not a life changing experience when someone dies." and that was the beginning of it. All of my school and former alumni posted threats on his status, he posted back, bad things were said back and forth between the kid and like 30 other students. Everyone now wants to beat this kids a** and honestly i dont blame them for wanting to. It was a really insensitive thing to say days after this had happened when people are mourning the loss of a loved one. Kids shouldn't be arguing over FB but when someone says that it is no surprise. He said that it wasnt aimed directly at the kid who had passed just in general about life.But still, how did he think people would react?

bassteban · #2 12-28-2011, 10:27 PM

People also do really stupid stuff everyday

fourstringdrums · #3 12-28-2011, 10:31 PM

I agree, it was a fairly ignorant statement. To say that someone dying doesn't possibly change someone's life is an absurd statement. But, given the kids age (no disrespect to you) I can understand the ignorance. He is young enough to maybe have never lost someone close to him, and this may be his first experience.

Ironically though, if people view this kid differently and treat him in a negative way, it very well could be a life changing experience for him, indirectly resulted because of a fellow student's death.

bassplayer1494 · #4 12-28-2011, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fourstringdrums

I agree, it was a fairly ignorant statement. To say that someone dying doesn't possibly change someone's life is an absurd statement. But, given the kids age (no disrespect to you) I can understand the ignorance. He is young enough to maybe have never lost someone close to him, and this may be his first experience.

Ironically though, if people view this kid differently and treat him in a negative way, it very well could be a life changing experience for him, indirectly resulted because of a fellow student's death.

Yeah well the kid is around my age so you would think that there would be some sense of maturity in that noggin of his but there isn't. This kid failed the 8th grade too. And people definitely are going to treat him differently. 100+ students at my school want his head.

LiquidMidnight · #5 12-28-2011, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fourstringdrums

But, given the kids age (no disrespect to you) I can understand the ignorance. He is young enough to maybe have never lost someone close to him, and this may be his first experience.

Unfortunately, I've heard adults say the same stupid thing as this kid.

bassplayer1494 · #6 12-28-2011, 10:57 PM

yeah adults can be stupid too at times lol

jrthebassguy · #7 12-28-2011, 10:58 PM

Even if he meant no harm, it's certainly insensitive.

Believe it or not, I was in a similar position a few years ago. A guy I went to high school with and went to the same church with for most of my life OD'ed on a combination of drugs. I never liked the guy (for various reasons), and said something to that effect at a party soon after his death. What I didn't realize is that no matter how much of a douche I thought the guy was, in some people's eyes he was a great person and was being horribly missed by friends and loved ones. So, I basically became the douche I thought he was, and was physically threatened by a few people. I apologized and left without further altercation, but it may not end so well for your friend.

That didn't/doesn't change my opinion that I think the guy was a douche, but it certainly taught me to be a little more respectful of the recently departed, not for his sake but for those who cared for him.

bassplayer1494 · #8 12-28-2011, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jrthebassguy

Even if he meant no harm, it's certainly insensitive.

Believe it or not, I was in a similar position a few years ago. A guy I went to high school with and went to the same church with for most of my life OD'ed on a combination of drugs. I never liked the guy (for various reasons), and said something to that effect at a party soon after his death. What I didn't realize is that no matter how much of a douche I thought the guy was, in some people's eyes he was a great person and was being horribly missed by friends and loved ones. So, I basically became the douche I thought he was, and was physically threatened by a few people. I apologized and left without further altercation, but it may not end so well for your friend.

Well at least you apologized. this kid has not even made an attempt to apologize or delete the status. And he is not my "friend" i barely even talk to the kid he is an idiot lol

fourstringdrums · #9 12-28-2011, 11:12 PM

I remember when I was about 19 or 20, an acquaintance of a friend of mine died tragically while "car surfing" (riding on the hood of a car). I made a comment to the effect of how yes it was tragic, but it was his own fault and deserved it. I didn't mean it in the way of "well the moron deserved to die!", but just in a statement of fact that he chose to do something stupid, and therefore he was setting himself for the unfortunate result. I don't see that as quite the same as your friend, but I admit it was insensitive even if it was just an observational statement.

Unrepresented · #10 12-29-2011, 01:12 AM

The rest of the world rarely appreciates us "big picture" guys.

Simo98 · #11 12-29-2011, 01:35 AM

I will say he probably shouldn't have posted it on the Facebook page as it would obviously have the potential to offend those who were close to the subject of the page, and it was a pretty stupid decision on his part.

However he is completely correct, people do die every day, it is a part of life, and sooner or later it will happen to everyone you know and everyone you ever have known, yourself included.

The people who blow up at him and make death threats are just idiotic. Mourning the loss of a human being, yet they themselves threaten to take his life because he doesn't see a great importance in the loss of the life of another human?!?! Teh ****?! He makes a careless statement about death, and then they proceed to make an even more irrational and careless statement about death that has even more potential to offend than the original statement (as well as potential legal implications) which was simply a fact of life posted at a rather inappropriate time.

fhm555 · #12 12-29-2011, 02:13 AM

When I was a little kid my best friend got run over by a car and killed.

I missed him badly and couldn't really grasp the concept of him never coming back. I knew what dead was, but it was something in movies and books, not something I should have to deal with personally.

Anywho, my dad took me aside one day and told me that missing Mat was fine, but nothing was ever going to bring him back so I should get used to the fact that he was gone. He went on to explain that death was something we all had to deal with in our lives but we could not afford to dwell on it for long, that life is too precious to waste wishing for things that were never going to happen.

Those words served me well throughout the years and to be honest, since my buddy Mat's death all those years ago, I've never placed much significance on death. I see it being as much a part of life as being born, or living between those two events. Beyond that, we are returned to the elements from which we were formed, but to make a huge emotional event out of it is as much a waste of time as wishing for world peace.

It is the inevitable end of the cycle of life so even when it's a surprise, it's still what it is and no amount of emotional upset is going to change it so why put yourself through it? That's not to say you can't be saddened by it, or miss the hell out of the departed, but to dwell in a place of negative or destructive emotion only hurts you and does not a whit to change the fact your loved one is gone.

And before someone decides I've not had enough personal experience with death to have an objective view let me assure you I have. In the last couple of years I've lost all my father's bothers and sisters, 4 long time friends, a great uncle and 2 great aunts. Nothing sinister or untoward in any of their passing, just time marching on to the end and my loved ones using up the time they were given. To be perfectly blunt, there were a few instances in those I mentioned where I was actually relived to see them slip away as it ended their suffering, which was much harder to deal with than the death that followed.

All that said, I hope I go before wifey. Selfish I know, but I've made sure she'll be well provided for and I honestly don't know what I would do without her.

Munjibunga · #13 12-29-2011, 03:03 AM

Dying is natural. However, there are better times to say that than right after the death of someone, especially a young person. The impact of dying is about the people left behind. The remark didn't annoy the decedent in any way. It was mighty insensitive to the loved ones, though.

Strat-Mangler · #14 12-29-2011, 03:53 AM

I've met people like him many times, especially in college. It's a somewhat confusing mix of trying to sound smart by being a contrarian while dismissing any emotional reaction to anything. Unfortunately, that carries over into adulthood.

I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts that he's a hipster, too.

Strat-Mangler · #15 12-29-2011, 03:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fhm555

Selfish I know, (...)

With all due respect, your entire post is thoroughly polluted with concentrated selfishness.

Yikes.

i_got_a_mohawk · #16 12-29-2011, 05:39 AM

I was raised to never speak ill of the dead.

Maybe he is lucky enough to have never really dealt with death. I was in my early 20s when it 3 people my age passed in relatively quick succession. That was a bit of an eye opener.

To be honest, the little brat probably got what he was wanting. A reaction.

The people threatening him are no better than he is IMO. Rise about that level, don't give him the satisfaction of a response.

sloasdaylight · #17 12-29-2011, 06:16 AM

Meh. I think people need to get over the outrage. The only ones with any legit claim to being outraged are the kids immediate family and close friends, and even then I don't think outrage is the right response.

Actium · #18 12-29-2011, 06:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bassplayer1494

Yeah well the kid is around my age so you would think that there would be some sense of maturity in that noggin of his but there isn't. This kid failed the 8th grade too. And people definitely are going to treat him differently. 100+ students at my school want his head.

Age and maturity are unrelated.

Keano · #19 12-29-2011, 06:36 AM

The guy sounds like an attention whore, more than anything. Had he truly believed that someone's passing isn't as big of a deal, he wouldn't have bothered to say anything at all. He was just looking for attention and reactions from others.

sloasdaylight · #20 12-29-2011, 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Keano

The guy sounds like an attention whore, more than anything. Had he truly believed that someone's passing isn't as big of a deal, he wouldn't have bothered to say anything at all. He was just looking for attention and reactions from others.

The kids sounds like a kid who doesn't have the maturity to deal with death yet, but is also under the constant scrutiny and magnifying glass that is the internet and the 21st century.

I'm willing to bed that there is a VERY small percentage if people even in this thread who have not said something just as ignorant or perhaps even more so about the passing of some one.

Throwing the first stone and the like...