A memorable trip to Cologne

Blazer · #1 02-15-2009, 04:14 PM

Okay I guess you all remember my stories about my former bass player Ade "Dark one" who we kicked out of the band a few months ago, due to his unruly behavior.

Because Ade is still a friend to me and the other band members me and "Caveman" Josh, our drummer were planning on going to the music store in Cologne which is one of Europe's biggest Music stores this weekend and taking Ade with us. But just a day prior "Caveman" bowed out because of other obligations. Anyway, Yesterday was the day we decided to go.

When I picked Ade up, he showed up with a smile on his face, his irises wider than the english channel and a 1/5 liter beer bottle in his hand. Nevertheless, he was keen on going because he wanted to buy a guitar as a birthday present for his younger brother Conner.

When we arrived at the train station, Ade went to the shop and bought three more of those 1/5 liter cans of beer "For on the road." Because of there not being much people on the train, he and I decided to sit on different benches so we had all the freedom we wanted and that may have been my savior too. Because Ade then decided that the smoking prohibition law was stupid and lighted one up. Just moments after doing so, one of the staff members caught him and threatened to throw him off the train if his didn't put out that cigarette right now. I'll save you guys the words that were exchanged between Ade and the staff member but it wasn't pretty and it made me just want to vanish into thin air... Seriously, if it weren't for the fact that I had to be driving him home, I would've been happy if he really was thrown off the train, right there and then.

Three 1/5 cans of beer later, Ade apparently decided that it was a little too quiet and began to sing out loud (and extremely off key I might add) along to the songs of his portable MP3 player. And we still had five more stops before arriving in Cologne. For me personally, it was more like it were 500 stops before we arrived.

When we DID arrive, Ade told me straight that he wanted to get the guitar and get back straight away because he wanted to be back home at 20:00 h. to see his girlfriend before she would leave for Brussels for her study. I at that moment, happily agreed since this day was already proving to be tiring enough and to spend even more time with this extremely embarrassing drunk man would kill me. Still, when we arrived at the shop I saw a lot of cool new guitars from Brands like Ibanez and ESP that I hadn't seen before and I was itching to try them out. But Ade insisted, that we should get the guitar and go.

After buying the guitar, we found out that there was no gig bag that would fit (The guitar in question was a Flying V) so to make sure that the thing wouldn't get damaged I asked the staff of the music shop if they could wrap the thing up tightly with packing material.

When arriving back at Cologne Central station, Ade ran off to the station's liquor store and bought another five 1/5 liter cans. This time, the train was packed, so I had no choice but to sit next to him. And as luck would have it, guess which railway staff member we ran into.

The journey by train to and from Cologne takes about two hours and every five minutes Ade was asking me if we were there yet. All the while chugging one can of beer after another and just tossing the empty beer cans across the cabin instead of binning them. He then put on his music again and again started singing out loud (and off key) with the music. People sitting across me looked at me with eyes of sympathy, they could tell that I was NOT enjoying this.

When we arrived at Aachen station where we have to switch trains, Ade was so far gone that I had to tell him six times that we weren't in Maastricht yet and that we had to wait an further 30 minutes before our train would arrive. Ade then told me that this was starting to piss him off and that he needed a good smoke. While Ade was enjoying his cigarette outside the hall of the station I went into the book store, just to regain my sanity. But when I bought the magazines I intended to read on the train I found Ade tearing the protection from the guitar because he "wanted to see the beauty of the guitar his brother would be getting."

Only ten more minutes before our train was about to arrive so me and Ade made our way to the platform. We weren't even there for five minutes when I suddenly saw Ade opening up his zipper and pulling his ding-a-ling out. You can guess what happened next. While he was busy relieving himself I made sure to be at least 300 yards away from him just to make sure that IF the railway staff would get him, I wouldn't be seen as an accomplice. While this was going on I said to myself "I'll be able to laugh at this later." because I sure enough was NOT enjoying it while it happened.

When we finally arrived back in Maastricht Ade almost puked in my car but I managed to close the door in time. By then he had chugged 14 cans of beer away. And I had the feeling that as soon as he would get home, he'd drink a couple more. When I dropped him off at his place he went "It was fun hanging out with you again Walt, let's do this again next month." To which I replied in thoughts "No way, if you wanna go to Cologne again, go on your own."

When I got home I got a phone call from my friends telling me that "Burn out" a band who are friends with my band would be playing to night and if I could make it. I told them I couldn't because this trip with Ade had drained me completely. I slept as a log that night.

NOT to be repeated...