Missing ex-bandmate

powderfinger · #1 05-03-2011, 12:09 PM

So as some of you know, I have started a band recently. So, I thought in honor of this occasion, I would track down the greatest drummer Ive ever met ... my old bandmate. Lets call him.. Big B.

So I call Big B up on the phone. Phone # has been disconnected. I kind of expected as much, considering I havent seen the ol' chap in about 6 years. So, I decide to go to Facebook and see if he has an account. He doesn't. Nor does he have one on Twitter or Myspace (and mind you, this guy was a net junkie).

I Googled him as well... nothing...

So I decided to hop in the car and cruise on out to his house. I pull up in the driveway and an old lady is watering the flowes. I ask her if "Big B" lives here? She says she has been living there for several years, and didnt know the previous owners.

So I start asking around. No one has seen or heard from him in my music circle. I started getting nervous. I scanned the online obituaries on my town's newspaper website. I didn't find him.

I went to White Pages and did a search, and found his last current address was about 50 miles outside of town in the mountains. So one Sat. I drove out there. It's an abadoned home on top of a damn mountain. No one lived there. Infact it looked dilapidated. And honestly, he didnt have a neighbor within 10 miles.

I did more Google searches at home. Googling his name/and the town of the mountain house. Nothing... Nothing AT ALL.

So at this point, Ive forgotten about asking him to joint he band. I am on an episode of UNSOLVED MYSTERIES at this point.

I have no more clues to go on. I tried Google searching his parents and found nothing at all. He had no siblings or other family I was aware of in town.

Anyone have any idea on how to proceed. Perhaps I am overlooking something? Id love to find out where the HELL Big B is at this point.

MJ5150 · #2 05-03-2011, 12:14 PM

We'll need more info than his code name to help you find him.

-Mike

Relic · #3 05-03-2011, 12:16 PM

have you tried Pakistan yet? I hear there's this million dollar mansion...

Sonic_Death · #4 05-03-2011, 12:19 PM

You mentioned that you asked people in your "music circle" if they have seen him. Did you happen to know anyone who was close to him, or know any of his friends who would have better knowledge of his whereabouts?

Is it possible he joined the service in some manner? Perhaps he is even in another state. It's really hard to say, especially given the limited information.

I wouldn't wrack your brain too much, though I understand being nervous. Perhaps you can email him at any known email addresses he had. You said he was a net-junkie, so perhaps he still checks them.

fenderhutz · #5 05-03-2011, 12:20 PM

Sorry. I had to.

Selta · #6 05-03-2011, 12:23 PM

Maybe he doesn't want to be "found"?

MJ5150 · #7 05-03-2011, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ray Salamon

Maybe he doesn't want to be "found"?

Well, there is that. Looks like this guy isn't going to give up though.

-Mike

powderfinger · #8 05-03-2011, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sonic_Death

You mentioned that you asked people in your "music circle" if they have seen him. Did you happen to know anyone who was close to him, or know any of his friends who would have better knowledge of his whereabouts?

Is it possible he joined the service in some manner? Perhaps he is even in another state. It's really hard to say, especially given the limited information.

I wouldn't wrack your brain too much, though I understand being nervous. Perhaps you can email him at any known email addresses he had. You said he was a net-junkie, so perhaps he still checks them.

Yes, he had a Yahoo email. It comes back with that "mailer daemon" message. He moved to my town in the early 90s. He was pretty much a transient before he settled here with his mom and dad. I think that the dad moved them around alot when he was a kid, and that dad ended up retiring here in the Carolinas. Far as I know he never had a steady home before moving here to finish high school. I did Google the town he moved here from, but he has no roots there, or anywhere really.

No one in the music scene has heard from him since he apparently moved into the mountains. Only theory I can come up with is that he got sick of modern life, so he disconnected his phone, got rid of his computer, deleted his email address, and moved into the mountains... to be like... a mountain man? This is totally, TOTALLY NOT him though... but thats what the clues make me think.

powderfinger · #9 05-03-2011, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ray Salamon

Maybe he doesn't want to be "found"?

He owes me 10 bucks.... he will be found

Demon_Hunter · #10 05-03-2011, 01:07 PM

You could always try this Genealogy, Family Trees & Family History Records at Ancestry.com
you'll have to pay, or you could try any of those other pay sites.
or these
Memory Lane | Step back in time - Previously Classmates.com
People Search - Find People with MyLife™

shouldn't be to hard to find somebody these days. Heck, bill collectors can find anybody.

MatticusMania · #11 05-03-2011, 02:00 PM

Maybe you always confused him for that other guy, whose name was similar, and youve actually been trying to hunt a person who doesnt exist.

MakiSupaStar · #12 05-03-2011, 02:02 PM

Why is it that drummers are always the hardest guy in the band to get ahold of?

fenderhutz · #13 05-03-2011, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

Why is it that drummers are always the hardest guy in the band to get ahold of?

Because all of the bills are in his parents or girlfriends name.

Da-Dum......Crash

geeza · #14 05-03-2011, 02:31 PM

Have you tried this?
http://www.zabasearch.com/

powderfinger · #15 05-04-2011, 11:39 AM

RED ALERT RED ALERT

So, after I did this thread, I sent out a text to all my friends in music. One of them did a search for him, and apparently there is new info on this cat online. My friend sent me his new address.

He lives 1/4 mile from me....

*slaps hand on forehead*

Guess its time to pay Big B a visit!

**Staccato** · #16 05-04-2011, 11:45 AM

Lost, and found!

Update us-when you have more news...

R. Laevinus · #17 05-04-2011, 12:00 PM

While I applaud your efforts to find this guy, I would like to point out that often (usually, in my experience), if somebody disappears like that and doesn't leave you with forwarding info, IME, it means they don't want to be found.

I've known a few people who have put themselves through complete self re-inventions, and did not wish to be in contact with any of their old crowd. It always sucks when that happens, but I can dig.

Let us know what happens.

powderfinger · #18 05-04-2011, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by R. Laevinus

While I applaud your efforts to find this guy, I would like to point out that often (usually, in my experience), if somebody disappears like that and doesn't leave you with forwarding info, IME, it means they don't want to be found.

I've known a few people who have put themselves through complete self re-inventions, and did not wish to be in contact with any of their old crowd. It always sucks when that happens, but I can dig.

Let us know what happens.

Yes, I suppose people often *do*disappear with the intention NOT to be found. Only difference with Big B was this... Big B was an awesome musician (he also composed music as well... this was no *regular* caveman drummer). B was an awkward kid though and didnt have many friends. I was his first friend here in town, and pretty much stood by him when everyone else thought he was just this random weirdo. He loved music, and I was the guy who encouraged him, and brought him into his first band, and boy did he shine, and boy did he LOVE music. His disappearance hurt my feeings in a way. I was always his biggest supporter and loyal friend. I mean, when he needed a place to stay, he was on my couch. When his broke ass couldnt afford to go out, I bought him beers. I am curious to know what happened to him. Ill try to get by his house this weekend.

hrodbert696 · #19 05-04-2011, 12:41 PM

Glad you found him. Just to add that sometimes it's not a matter of "not wanting to be found." If your lifestyle or career is the kind of thing that would involve multiple moves over the course of a few years (I know mine does), then there may be someone who knew you five years ago, didn't keep in touch in the meantime, and now the forwarding address they have is about three moves out of date. If you got a new cell phone and don't have a web presence, it's no big surprise that you'll be a bit hard to track down. No mystery there.

R. Laevinus · #20 05-04-2011, 01:26 PM

Fair enough, Powderfinger, and of course I meant no offence. I was just sayin', IME and all that.