A most curious ***hole.

Kwesi · #1 01-08-2012, 04:11 AM

So, I think I've run into my very first true douchebag musician... with a bit of a catch. The guy plays guitar and drums and he's REALLY FREAKIN' GOOD but he hasn't a shred of humility and his cock-o-meter is completely off the charts.

I've been at an event for the past few days where there are quite a few hours in the day for an open jam. Every time someone wanted to play drums he would deem them unfit for the position and hop on the second drum set to "do it better" and after a few minutes of laying down something solid (and running over whatever else the other person was doing; There were two sets) he'd proceed to do fills and mess with the time until everything sounded like a mess. Keep in mind, this isn't some pro shed session, just a bunch (50+ over the course of a day) of folks who just want to jam. It was just bleh. But by the same token once he got together with a few other musicians of his caliber he was cool... until our guy on guitar played Amaj7 instead of Amin7b5 then he decided to channel a bit of James Brown or Buddy Rich (ok, not that bad). I've got no issue with trying to correct a mistake that someone made but he goes about it with all the finesse of a coke junkie doing ballet.

In the right environment, everything is AWESOME but if the slightest thing is off he'll suck ALL the joy and fun out of creating music. He's a black hole and shining star all at once

. The funny thing is that I have more in common with him musically, than possibly anyone I've ever known. With any luck, I won't see him again after tomorrow.

Tituscrow · #2 01-08-2012, 06:01 AM

"He's my shining star and my black hole...he's so wrong, yet so right..."

Sounds like the tag line for a chick flick.

Come on Kwesi, grow a pair, man up and sort him out. Tie his shoe laces together or put a 'kick me' post-it on his back.

Crockettnj · #3 01-08-2012, 06:41 AM

It took you this long? I'd consider yourself lucky.

As a bass player I've had the opportunity to "meet" quite a few DB musicians. (No, not double-bass.)

Really, its astounding this is the first!

Oh, and you have a way with words man.

guy n. cognito · #4 01-08-2012, 06:44 AM

Unfortunately, these guys are a dime a dozen. Get used to it. The longer you play, the more of these types you'll experience.

capnsandwich · #5 01-08-2012, 06:48 AM

Most of the musician douches I've met are that way because they're trying to hide their insecurities as an actual player. The good ones are the quiet and confident ones, at least IME.

I'd like to run into that guy one day. He's seems like an interesting fella.

stratovani · #6 01-08-2012, 07:04 AM

Nothing a Clint Eastwood-style fist wouldn't cure. Believe me, someone will do that to him someday if he doesn't straighten out by then. Douchebags eventually get their comeuppence!

**SamanthaCay** · #7 01-08-2012, 07:21 AM

Yeah I got nothing that anyone else hasn't already said but I must say from the title of this thread I thought this was going to be a very dirty coming out story.
I for one am disappointed.

sandmangeck · #8 01-08-2012, 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SamanthaCay

Yeah I got nothing that anyone else hasn't already said but I must say from the title of this thread I thought this was going to be a very dirty coming out story.
I for one am disappointed.

+1

XtreO · #9 01-08-2012, 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kwesi

The funny thing is that I have more in common with him musically, than possibly anyone I've ever known.

So what you really wanted to tell us is how shining star you are at playing bass?

Smurf-o-Deth · #10 01-08-2012, 10:57 AM

Fassa thread incognito?

SoonerMatt · #11 01-08-2012, 11:13 AM

Sounds like he's doing everything in his power to not be asked back to these sort of events. Someone just needs to up and tell him he isn't as good as he thinks he is.

Phalex · #12 01-08-2012, 12:16 PM

Yep. I know that guy. If he packs the house, he may be worth putting up with, if he's just Douchy McDoucherson, drop him like something hot.

**cheezewiz** · #13 01-08-2012, 12:20 PM

Ah yes. There are SO MANY of those douchebags out there. The good part about being an older guy is, were I there playing with him, and he started that crap, I would feel absolutely free to bust out a "shut up and just play a-hole". It doesn't matter if he's a great player. It doesn't matter if he is 100 times better than me. Some people just need to be told to STFU.

TBird1958 · #14 01-08-2012, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SamanthaCay

Yeah I got nothing that anyone else hasn't already said but I must say from the title of this thread I thought this was going to be a very dirty coming out story.
I for one am disappointed.

Me too!

john grey · #15 01-08-2012, 02:00 PM

There are various grades of "very good": you see that in sports or academics all the time. If the guy were truly so wonderful he would not be trying to run the put-down tape on people just having fun. He MAY be VERY good -- but if he were of a caliber that major league he would have better things to do with his time.

On the other hand, this guy may be seriously great but SUCH a turd-ball that he CAN'T keep a place in any band or any professional venue so he get's his applause from playing the role in his head.

nortonrider · #16 01-08-2012, 02:04 PM

why didn't you tell him to chill out?

hover · #17 01-08-2012, 02:21 PM

Kwesi, I didn't know you were a-curious.

MEKer · #18 01-08-2012, 09:14 PM

Kwesi---I do not understand. What is "***hole"? Do you mean donut hole, sink hole or something? Whazzup with ***hole? ( I ask with all innocence) <snicker>

Is it bigger than a bread box? Can you poke a finger in it? Can you hock one for money? I don't get it. And are you a-curious? (whatever that is).

Pilgrim · #19 01-08-2012, 09:18 PM

If that's at a jam, it's not unreasonable to get the other guys on the stage together (or get the jam organizer on board) and ask him to leave the stage. OTOH, if they're not as annoyed as you are, then that's not going to happen.

Dr. Cheese · #20 01-08-2012, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by john grey

There are various grades of "very good": you see that in sports or academics all the time. If the guy were truly so wonderful he would not be trying to run the put-down tape on people just having fun. He MAY be VERY good -- but if he were of a caliber that major league he would have better things to do with his time.

On the other hand, this guy may be seriously great but SUCH a turd-ball that he CAN'T keep a place in any band or any professional venue so he get's his applause from playing the role in his head.

+1,000

Now that I am older and have seen a fair amount, I believe that actual talent is very common, and actually a pretty small factor in professional success. Do you think that Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant is or was physically that much better than most of their peers? Similarly, Marcus Miller probably does not have more chops than most genuinely top level players. I'm sure Marcus Miller would do a gig with inferior musicians and make everyone around him sound like a million dollars. If he could not do that, he would not have had such a great career as a sideman. A bandleader has more room to be a jerk, but only if he truly is making music worth hearing, and even then, great players have options. How many times have heard of a great player who played with someone a short time, and then moving on?

In my own line of work, we are all smart and know a lot of stuff. It comes with the territory. However, only a few of us really write the books or articles that really make an impact. A lot of us never really do that much after our dissertations. Some really smart people can't even publish that. Others figure it out and become prolific, and rare few, become stars.

Talent is common. Social skills, work ethic, a good plan, networking, among other things, really make the difference in life.