Moving out: Some Advice?

Jimbob Jones · #1 05-20-2011, 05:34 AM

Hi guys!

Let's start with a little back story.

I am a second year Engineering student, and I'm all set to do a paid placement year starting in June as part of my degree. I'm currently still living at home, and am hoping to move out.

My best mate (also the guitarist in my band) just got himself a permanent IT job at the place he was doing a 3-month placement. He also would like to flee the nest.

So, with that in mind, it would make sense for use to get a flat or small house together. I love the idea, and we've talked about it a lot, but like any good friendship, we annoy each other all the time, and I'm a bit concerned that living together is going to end up completely destroying that friendship.

So, Is moving in with my guitard a good idea?

I know this isn't as entertaining as a lot of threads on tb, so here's a funny picture of a goat.

TL;DR: will moving in with my best friend mean we end up not being friends?

TJ55 · #2 05-20-2011, 05:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbob Jones

but like any good friendship, we annoy each other all the time, and I'm a bit concerned that living together is going to end up completely destroying that friendship.

I understand what you are saying but then again I don't. Friends living together will w/o a doubt irritate one another from time to time (all the time though as you stated

) but ultimately it should be easy to quickly get over any issues if you guys are that close.

If you are having doubts then my first impression would be to take a step back and really talk to your buddy and try and get as clear a picture as possible of what might come between the two of you. You don't really know someone until you've lived together.

fmoore200 · #3 05-20-2011, 05:52 AM

Is your 'paid placement' a position that you are guaranteed to keep? Or is it more like an internship, where if they like your work they have the choice of keeping you?

If the position is not permanent I would hold off on making a large financial commitment like moving out. Nothing can ruin the best of friendships like money, and nothing feels worse than moving back into your parents house. And I speak from experience on both matters

Skitch it! · #4 05-20-2011, 06:18 AM

I would spend a bit of time considering this, you seem to know your friend well enough to know what his M.O is but I have seen a few situations go pair-shaped, usually to do with simple stuff like cleaning up after each other and such. A few month's playing 'mother' to someone, usually upsets the applecart no end.

But that's only something you can know, but I will say, living with someone is when you really get to know them and their habit's, can you deal with it 24/7 that's the question? On the other hand, if your pal is the type to pull his weight around the place and is the considerate type, then that's a good start. It also depends on what your lifestyle preferences are too.

I have a few good friends that will always be, but I'd find them difficult to live with all the time and vice versa. Weigh it up.

DwaynieAD · #5 05-20-2011, 06:19 AM

good practice for getting married one day.. you cant run from all your problems.. deal with em as they come up

MatticusMania · #6 05-20-2011, 10:25 AM

Be careful living with friends. If you annoy each other on occasion now, be prepared to deal with what can come up. Living with someone, you end up having to suffer all their bad habits. If your friend is messy, he'll be a slob around the house, and you might get frustrated at him for not doing the things you'd expect of a roommate. Everyone Ive ever lived with has gotten on my nerves at one point, even my fiancee (though I find it much easier to get over it in her case). Little things like not doing dishes when the sink is full will start to grate on your nerves.

That said, enjoy yourselves!

Hoover · #7 05-20-2011, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbob Jones

here's a funny picture of a goat.

You sure that's a goat? My parents' friends had a herd of alpaca in their farmstead that all looked exacty like that.

MJ5150 · #8 05-20-2011, 10:55 AM

As long as you understand times won't always be the greatest, you guys should get along fine. Where I see these arrangements falling apart, between married/romantic couples or just friends, is when there are false expectations.

-Mike

Bongolation · #9 05-20-2011, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbob Jones

TL;DR: will moving in with my best friend mean we end up not being friends?

In my experience and observation, yes, eventually, a permanent rift.

TJ55 · #10 05-20-2011, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bongolation

In my experience and observation, yes, eventually, a permanent rift.

No disrespect to Bongo but the opposite was true for me. Epic foosball battles both against and with, same w/ Playstation, with only the occasional grievance which was cleared up quickly and without incident. Employment eventually took us to different cities but we are still very, very tight.

As many have said, just talk it out and lay down some ground rules. If everyone is an adult then you should be fine.

Linas · #11 05-20-2011, 07:49 PM

In my experience, I would rather live with acquaintances or strangers rather than friends.

Absentia · #12 05-21-2011, 03:15 AM

God Roommates, any roommates suck.
That's just me.

Jimbob Jones · #13 05-21-2011, 07:11 AM

Thanks for the advice guys!

I will post an update when more is confirmed.

Thanks again.

hover · #14 05-21-2011, 07:22 AM

When moving out, I would advise putting your multiple smaller belongings into larger yet movable crates, bins or boxes. Also, lift with your legs, not your back. I would utilize an appropriate size vehicle to haul said belongings where they can be conveyed securely without risk of damage to them, or potential spillage to the motorway, causing accidents. I would suggest a pickup truck, a rental mover van/box truck, or station wagon. I would also advise using said guitard to help with the bulkier and heavier objects.

Solid moving out advise.

fdeck · #15 05-21-2011, 07:41 AM

When I moved out, I photocopied my mom's entire recipe collection, most of which she came up with while feeding 3 growing boys on a shoestring budget.

Restaurant / prepared food will bankrupt and kill you.

Absentia · #16 05-21-2011, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fdeck

When I moved out, I photocopied my mom's entire recipe collection, most of which she came up with while feeding 3 growing boys on a shoestring budget.

Restaurant / prepared food will bankrupt and kill you.

Aunt Charlene's "Spaghetti"
Mac & cheese
ground beef or hotdogs (optional)
Ketchup
Mix it all together

extra points if you manage to scrounge up chili powder or a canned veggie.

McHaven · #17 05-21-2011, 10:27 AM

Make sure you know how your friend lives on his own. I moved into an apartment with a friend of mine about a year ago. We had lived in the dorms together for the previous 6 months. In the dorms, it was fine. We didn't have a kitchen, and had such a small space that we had to constantly make sure we picked up after ourselves. Once we moved into a house, it was entirely different. Turns out the man was a total slob, a passive aggressive jerk, and never respected our shared space.

bassist11 · #18 05-21-2011, 02:57 PM

Yeah you may think "o my friend is just a little messy" or "o my friend is a little loud in the wee hours of the morning" but those little things that bother you now can turn into bigger things quickly. You have to have an idea of what you can and cannot tolerate.

I moved in with a buddy who I knew was a little messy but I thought I could handle it. I was out of the door as soon as I could after putting up with his mess for a year.

Also like the above said, what his room and etc looks like with his parents right now will give you an idea but it will probably be worse than that once his parents aren't there.

fdeck · #19 05-21-2011, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Absentia

Aunt Charlene's "Spaghetti"
Mac & cheese
ground beef or hotdogs (optional)
Ketchup
Mix it all together

extra points if you manage to scrounge up chili powder or a canned veggie.

Well, we weren't on that tight of a budget. Also, I'm glad that I learned how to prepare vegetables.

TheSuzie · #20 05-21-2011, 04:52 PM

Aside from money frequently being the bane of relationships you also need to consider if you two have the sort of relationship that will cause negative behaviors to escalate too much if you live together.

Is it the sort of relationship where you tend to party too much, act out a bit, blow off responsibilities etc when the other person is around? If so, then living in the same place could be poison.

Just something to consider.

S