Musically un friendly ex's

Lowner · #1 05-14-2011, 06:43 PM

I had an ex that was didnt appreciate the fact that I am a musician. And made me sell all my equipment except for my amp that I was able to keep in storage at my parents house. I miss my yamaha basses. Especially my bb 3000 ma. For some reason my ex thought that becuase I ws not playing in a band that it was useless for me to keep my basses, and effect and the guitars I had.

Now that I am with a new guy. he appreciates my bass playing and has allowed me to purchase a new bass, an Epiphone EB-3. Its kinda muddy. i just cant find a Yamaha that I like right now and is in my budget.

So i now ask have any ogf you had musically unappreciative exes that just didnt get that you play music for the love and joy of it. And Did they ask or bug you so much that you caved in and sold things off only to reget it later. then had to begin the buy process.

NoiseNinja · #2 05-14-2011, 06:50 PM

You shouldn't let your girl/boy-freind decide such things.

cableguy · #3 05-14-2011, 06:51 PM

That's usually why they are ex's. My ex thought I played to pick up women and sleep around. She didn't take into acount the extra money that cam in or the fun I was having with music and music alone. She also thought I should not have to practice to keep up with a 40+ songlist. But she sure liked the attention she got with being with a musician. You don't realize until you're away from the situation that you should have kicked them to the curb much sooner. Good luck with your supportive new person. It makes all the difference in the world.

Bloodhammer · #4 05-15-2011, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cableguy

That's usually why they are ex's. My ex thought I played to pick up women and sleep around.You don't realize until you're away from the situation that you should have kicked them to the curb much sooner.

This. ^^^ My ex-gf made my life hell while I was in a band.

She would get pissed off that I was going to practice, that I was at practice, that I didn't get home from practice soon enough, that if she went with me she'd be uncomfortable, that if she stayed home she'd be lonely, that all musicians are big-headed megalomaniacs who only do it for the groupies (like a local original band ever has any), that any time spent away from her side meant I didn't love her, etc. etc....

One time my band had a gig and she said she was thinking about going to a different bar to see a group that's been around for a decade and she'd already seen fifty times. And I actually had to explain how screwed up that was and why that hurt my feelings!!! Nothing but hate hate hate

Never sold my gear though.

johnny rg · #5 05-15-2011, 02:42 PM

I can't imagine ever letting anyone make me sell a piece of gear I didn't want or need to sell. I'd never ask anyone to sell their things for me. Congratulations on moving on.

knumbskull · #6 05-15-2011, 02:45 PM

past is past. good luck getting your Yamahas back

Pilgrim · #7 05-15-2011, 02:46 PM

When someone tries to control your life - including telling you what you can have - RUN. FAST. Don't go back.

One Bad Monkey · #8 05-15-2011, 02:54 PM

I haven't had that at all, but then again, my exes were either fellow musicians or artists in other areas, so we both had a mutual agreement. When I started dating my now-wife, I was upfront with her in telling her what part music played in my life. She's been understanding and supportive, even though it means that she's home many nights by herself while I'm out gigging.

Rockmusician · #9 05-15-2011, 03:00 PM

[quote=Lowner;10897556]I had an ex that was didnt appreciate the fact that I am a musician. And made me sell all my equipment except for my amp that I was able to keep in storage at my parents house.
QUOTE]

Nobody can make you do anything. You are your own person. If you sold your gear, it's because you made the decision to do so and stay with your boyfriend. If he really cared, he would have accepted you as you are. He obviously didn't. Hopefully you learned a valuable lesson.

Floyd Eye · #10 05-15-2011, 03:05 PM

When I met my first wife I was in a working band. At first she dug it. Came to all the shows etc.. Soon enough she decided she didn't want me in bars 3 or 4 nights a week. I never sold ANY of my gear, but I did dissolve the band and remained dormant for about 15 years until about 5 years ago when my current wife surprised me with a bass rig and told me to go get a band.

Zooberwerx · #11 05-15-2011, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cableguy

My ex thought I played to pick up women and sleep around...

...which is exactly why I became a musician. Well, it didn't work but I turned out to be a decent performer, collected a lot of nice gear, and got to meet a lot of creative people who share the same interests.

"Opposites attract but likes endure"

Riis

krovx · #12 05-15-2011, 03:13 PM

Everyone wants to date a musician or enjoy the fruits of musicians, but many do not want to endure the sacrifices a musician has to undergo to be a musician. [Obviously this applies to other fields as well.]

The sleeping around crap is insecurity and self esteem issues exposed. I am smart enough to avoid relationships with those types. I prefer to choose partners who are interdependent, and empower my personhood, enhancing my life. I hope I can do the same for them as well.

EskimoBassist · #13 05-15-2011, 03:32 PM

I can't imagine ever being forced to sell off my gear. My music, like many of my hobbies, is a great part of my life and my personality. I don't ask my girl to be at every gig or match or game that I play, just to support me (or leave me alone to what I do) and not to meddle. In the same way I respect her hobbies and her interests.

capnsandwich · #14 05-15-2011, 03:46 PM

One of the reasons I chose the woman I chose to be my wife was the fact that she loved me being a musician. She loves watching me on stage and loves it when I get the acoustic out and strum some on the little strings. In fact, when we were on our honeymoon she told me a story of when I was playing guitar in a coffee shop that she fell in love with my playing (she's a musician as well.) She told me that when she drove home, she prayed to God that "whoever her husband was going to be, let him play as good as Matt." I guess God had to honor her request.

If I had a woman that didn't appreciate my musicianship then we wouldn't get too far in a relationship.

Stingray89 · #15 05-15-2011, 06:13 PM

I've dated women that either really dug that I was in a band or hated it. My current girlfriend is really supportive which is cool. No one has ever tried to get me to sell my gear tho, not that they could anyway.

The Owl · #16 05-16-2011, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pilgrim

When someone tries to control your life - including telling you what you can have - RUN. FAST. Don't go back.

AMEN!!! Long ago, I dated a lady who turned out to be very controlling and possessive that way, NEVER AGAIN!!!!

Plantbrain · #17 05-16-2011, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lowner

I had an ex that was didnt appreciate the fact that I am a musician. And made me sell all my equipment except for my amp that I was able to keep in storage at my parents house. I miss my yamaha basses. Especially my bb 3000 ma. For some reason my ex thought that becuase I ws not playing in a band that it was useless for me to keep my basses, and effect and the guitars I had.

Now that I am with a new guy. he appreciates my bass playing and has allowed me to purchase a new bass, an Epiphone EB-3. Its kinda muddy. i just cant find a Yamaha that I like right now and is in my budget.

So i now ask have any ogf you had musically unappreciative exes that just didnt get that you play music for the love and joy of it. And Did they ask or bug you so much that you caved in and sold things off only to reget it later. then had to begin the buy process.

Unlike BF/GF:

The Bass never lie, they never cheat, they never try and control you, of you put passion and hard work into a relationship with your bass, you are rewarded. They never get jealous if you pick up another bass and play it. When you are with your bass, none else matters. Basses do not care if you have more than one. Or upgrade to a newer leaner model. Basses never ask you to give up the stuff you love.

Manipulative relationship ex's?
Dime a dozen.

The bass is good for your soul and will heal any past issues. Put your energy there, not thinking about that loser ex.
New relationships are all honeymoon, after 2-4 years......then see how they behave. If still good and supportive then you found a good one.

Kenner · #18 05-16-2011, 09:07 AM

like they say....put your gf and your bass in the trunk for the ride home from a gig...which one do you think is gonna be pissed when they see ya....

s_mcsleazy · #19 05-16-2011, 09:11 AM

my ex stole a guitar i was building for my best friend. were not allowd custody or to even see the guitar on weekdays

i miss you

Brandon D. · #20 05-16-2011, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pilgrim

When someone tries to control your life - including telling you what you can have - RUN. FAST. Don't go back.

+100 This is true never let anyone control you. I have made a mistake with a girl like this. She wanted to run my life and I put up with it for a while. The final straw we get into my car and I had my James Brown CD in she said " what is that crap you are listening to" I knew it was over after that.