my dads in the hospital..

[groooooove]

sitting down eating dinner last night, he suddenly became completely unresponsive, looking as if he's asleep but his eyes are open and he cannot be woken up, drooling, even snoring if we did not hold his head up. my mom called me and my brother into the kitchen saying "i dont know whats going on with your dad...what do i do?" and we call an ambulance shortly after. he spent the night in the hospital, hooked up to a respirator "just incase" even though he did breathe on his own the whole time. we were told a few hours later that it was not a stroak, he was not waking up, and they could not figure it out.

we found out this morning that he had half a bottle worth of xanax in his system, as well as small amounts of alcohol, in his body. he does not have a history of drug use, but he does have a history of some pretty bad depression, so its understood that this was a suicide attempt. when we visited him this morning he was hardly coherent, and kept saying to go away that he did not want visitors, particularly to my mother (whom he has not lived with 'as a couple' for 3 or so years, and has just started the divorce process.) when asked if he would let my other brother (who was upstate on his way home) in to visit him in a few hours he nodded yes. the only other thing i recall being able to understand was him saying "i want to go to sleep." he was hardly able to move, and never opened his eyes more than slightly.

i dont know the official situation or anything, but i do know that he's going to need to be committed to a psych ward, and may even be there by the time we are able to get there in the morning to visit.

its just so bizarre that this really happened. its a long shot but, has anyone been here before?? i can't imagine him being able to recover (mentally) from where he's at now, and if he does, who knows how long it would take, and what its going to be like for him and us.

we just need some good energy over here.

t

[Staccato]

Prayers going out for your family!

[Fassa Albrecht]

You can only hope that he does recover.

My prayers will be going out for you.

[Salizander]

I really hope your pop turns around both mentally & physically. I'm not the praying type, but you'll definitely be in my thoughts.

[BloFish]

I can't even imagine how your family is feeling, or the state your father must have been in to do that. I wish your dad and whole family a fast, healthy recovery.

[runmikeyrun]

Hang in there. I've dealt with mental illness my whole life. I was hospitalized twice a couple years back for major depressive episodes, brought on by a major life event. I thought about suicide almost constantly for several months. It was really scary. People who say you just need to "get it together" and don't take suicide attempts seriously need to know this is no joke. I found myself going 110mph down the freeway (in my 92 honda wagon, truly a suicide mission!) more than once just because I honestly didn't care. I had to have my parents take all my medications and only give me enough at my house that I couldn't OD on because there were many times I was standing at the sink bottle in hand.

Make sure he gets proper help and stick by him. It might get trying for you and your family, but do NOT leave him to do this by himself. Also the holidays are the hardest for people with depression- less daylight coupled with the stress of the holidays triggers a lot of depressive episodes and suicide attempts.

I'm not a praying man, but I believe in science- meds, therapy, and support WILL help him. Things will get better.

P.S. please visit him while he's in the hospital. Every day. For longer than 5 minutes. See if you and other family can go in "shifts" so he is spending more time visiting people throughout the day. The first time I went into the hospital I was so embarrassed I only had one visitor on one day. It was really really hard being there all alone. Find out what the rules are- some will let you take in outside food (they keep it at the nurses station) and your own pajamas and/or clothes. No belts or stuff with strings (hoodies, shoes, etc). Toiletries are nice too- toothbrush and paste, soap, etc. They give you stuff to use but it's super crappy. No shaving razors. Books, magazines, whatever. Anything you can do to help give him some kind of connection to the outside world will help him feel less alienated and more cared about.

P.P.S. Please PM me if you need anything- I should have an honorary degree in Psychology having spent 16 years as a medic and all the therapy I've gone through lol

[groooooove]

Originally Posted by runmikeyrun

Hang in there. I've dealt with mental illness my whole life. I was hospitalized twice a couple years back for major depressive episodes, brought on by a major life event. I thought about suicide almost constantly for several months. It was really scary. People who say you just need to "get it together" and don't take suicide attempts seriously need to know this is no joke. I found myself going 110mph down the freeway (in my 92 honda wagon, truly a suicide mission!) more than once just because I honestly didn't care. I had to have my parents take all my medications and only give me enough at my house that I couldn't OD on because there were many times I was standing at the sink bottle in hand.

Make sure he gets proper help and stick by him. It might get trying for you and your family, but do NOT leave him to do this by himself. Also the holidays are the hardest for people with depression- less daylight coupled with the stress of the holidays triggers a lot of depressive episodes and suicide attempts.

I'm not a praying man, but I believe in science- meds, therapy, and support WILL help him. Things will get better.

P.S. please visit him while he's in the hospital. Every day. For longer than 5 minutes. See if you and other family can go in "shifts" so he is spending more time visiting people throughout the day. The first time I went into the hospital I was so embarrassed I only had one visitor on one day. It was really really hard being there all alone. Find out what the rules are- some will let you take in outside food (they keep it at the nurses station) and your own pajamas and/or clothes. No belts or stuff with strings (hoodies, shoes, etc). Toiletries are nice too- toothbrush and paste, soap, etc. They give you stuff to use but it's super crappy. No shaving razors. Books, magazines, whatever. Anything you can do to help give him some kind of connection to the outside world will help him feel less alienated and more cared about.

P.P.S. Please PM me if you need anything- I should have an honorary degree in Psychology having spent 16 years as a medic and all the therapy I've gone through lol

thank you.

unfourtunately as far as i know we're only able to visit him at two points during the day tomarrow, in the morning me my mother and one brother, and later in the afternoon my oldest brother. its unfourtunate that 2 of his 3 sons are in college, and we all have jobs, and will probably only be able to get down there once a day, hopefully at different times so he is not alone.

i will let family know to focus on un-alienating him.

it's just so strange. the most disturbing thought is that this was intentional. he purchased the pills for this purpose. its also bothering to know that he did this and tried to go about a normal evening, and it hit him while he was sitting at the kitchen table. did he want my brother and i to see him like that? i almost want to accuse him of being selfish- he has a family, and he was to whatever extent just trying to end it. he was more willing to swallow pills last night than he was to just say that its time to really get help.

this is all stuff i doubt i'll be able to speak with him about anytime soon, if ever. i understand that he just needs to be shown love now. i, and im sure the rest of my family, just cant help but have these thoughts i suppose.

thanks guys.

-t

[sandmangeck]

Originally Posted by groooooove

i dont know the official situation or anything, but i do know that he's going to need to be committed to a psych ward, and may even be there by the time we are able to get there in the morning to visit.
t

He most likely won't be committed. Depending on the health insurance he carries. a 72 hour hold at the most, depending of what he actually admits to the access staff.
I feel for you man. It usually gets darkest before dawn.
Hang in there, and be there for him.

[Sonicfrog]

it's just so strange. the most disturbing thought is that this was intentional. he purchased the pills for this purpose. its also bothering to know that he did this and tried to go about a normal evening, and it hit him while he was sitting at the kitchen table. did he want my brother and i to see him like that?

I suspect he probably didn't think that far ahead.

Man, this is a tough thing to have to deal with. I'm at a loss for words. Runmikeyrun seems like a great guy to talk to. He has more insight than I could possibly offer. Take care.

[MAJOR METAL]

Peace and healing to your dad and family.

[groooooove]

Originally Posted by Sonicfrog

I suspect he probably didn't think that far ahead.

Man, this is a tough thing to have to deal with. I'm at a loss for words. Runmikeyrun seems like a great guy to talk to. He has more insight than I could possibly offer. Take care.

of course i understand that. its just like, something you cant help but think.

thanks again for all the love everbody. i guess i'm using this thread just to vent. i'm sure you all understand...

-thomas

[RosieB]

Originally Posted by Sonicfrog

I suspect he probably didn't think that far ahead.

That was what I thought, too.

I worked at a counseling center for eight years and what I learned is that people who are truly suicidal are usually so wrapped up in their own issues that they aren't thinking of how it will effect others. It probably never occurred to him that the pills might take effect in front of you and your brother. Not because he didn't care, but because he just wasn't capable of thinking about it that way.

Very sorry you and your family are having to go through this. I agree, just keep visiting him and being there for him even if it gets difficult and he's pushing you away.

I would like to say that this will make everything better, but unfortunantly, I've also seen that this is not always the case. But I'm praying that everything will work out for your family and that your dad, and you, will get through this.

[HaMMerHeD]

My father committed suicide when I was 12. He lived a few states away, and I hadn't seen him in several years. He was severely bipolar, with years-long depressive bouts punctuated with far shorter manic periods. He refused counseling and medication, and I believe that suicide is a predictable result of such untreated illnesses. Just as cancer will likely kill you if you don't get treatment, many mental disorders will as well.

I've struggled with depression myself. I've been in counseling for a few years, and it is helping. Depression makes me very irrational and unreasonable, and above all else, counseling has helped me to realize that certain thoughts and impulses are not genuinely mine, but rather come from my depressive disorder.

I'm not sure what you can take from all that, except I suppose to know that you are not alone in this ordeal.

[Jay Ralston]

I am sorry to hear this news. I will be praying for your Dad and the rest of your family. PM me if there is anything else I can do for you guys.

[groooooove]

Originally Posted by HaMMerHeD

My father committed suicide when I was 12. He lived a few states away, and I hadn't seen him in several years. He was severely bipolar, with years-long depressive bouts punctuated with far shorter manic periods. He refused counseling and medication, and I believe that suicide is a predictable result of such untreated illnesses. Just as cancer will likely kill you if you don't get treatment, many mental disorders will as well.

I've struggled with depression myself. I've been in counseling for a few years, and it is helping. Depression makes me very irrational and unreasonable, and above all else, counseling has helped me to realize that certain thoughts and impulses are not genuinely mine, but rather come from my depressive disorder.

I'm not sure what you can take from all that, except I suppose to know that you are not alone in this ordeal.

it helps to hear that you can get ahold of it if you want too. im sorry to hear about what happened to you, that sounds significantly worse than this.

thanks again guys. i think i'm going to see him in the morning before work. i hope he's coherent enough to at least speak, or open his eyes all the way; regardless of weather or not he wants us to see him like this (witch is what i assumed from him telling us not to visit)

thanks everyone.

t

[Stumbo]

I suggest counseling for your whole family. I've been my brother's caretaker for many years.

Here's link you should check out: NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness | State & Local NAMIs

NAMI has helped my family and me immensely over the last 40 years. They do good work.

It's a life time commitment to mental health! Your dad needs your support and NAMI can and will support you and your family.

[cyclomatic]

Very sorry to hear about what your family is going through. I most certainly am the prayerful type! For those who believe we know that God moves into action, not through doubt, but through our faith. Those who have faith, let us pray for God's healing and comfort upon this family in a time of need.

This must all be very raw and emotional right now. I hope you guys are able to pull closer to each other and encourage one another. Staying positive right now is important. Now matter how tough it may seem at the moment, it can all be turned around. Keep faith.

[groooooove]

Originally Posted by cyclomatic

Very sorry to hear about what your family is going through. I most certainly am the prayerful type! For those who believe we know that God moves into action, not through doubt, but through our faith. Those who have faith, let us pray for God's healing and comfort upon this family in a time of need.

This must all be very raw and emotional right now. I hope you guys are able to pull closer to each other and encourage one another. Staying positive right now is important. Now matter how tough it may seem at the moment, it can all be turned around. Keep faith.

i hate to have to say this, but im so far from religious that i strongly prefer the "god and faith" talk be kept out of this. i hope you understand.

so i saw him yesturday and he was awake and speaking. nobody discussed if he knew why he was there, what he did, any of that crap, just sat and chatted for a bit. i guess it was relaxing to be able to just chat with him, or atleast see him with the strength to stand up.

he now has a room with a TV and phone and all that, and this morning did talk to my mom about what happened and talked about how he was feeling that day, and admits that he did try to kill himself that night.

as far as i know he's starting to realize what he did and feel even more depressed, but i was told to expect that. going to see him now.

peace

t

[bassteban]

Good vibes your way- that's all I got.

[runmikeyrun]

Originally Posted by groooooove

i almost want to accuse him of being selfish- he has a family, and he was to whatever extent just trying to end it. he was more willing to swallow pills last night than he was to just say that its time to really get help.

-t

Now is definitely NOT the time for accusations. I had a young daughter at the time I was suicidal. I wasn't thinking about her, or her future without me, I just wanted to stop hurting. Remember, a person is not thinking rationally when they are suicidal. You don't sit down and think things through.

Personally I wouldn't bring it up with him unless he talks about it first. Let him know you understand but that everyone is there to support him and his recovery.

Hang in there.