My Father Will Pass On Shortly

RayG · #1 12-17-2012, 08:04 PM

My 85 year old father has decided to stop the dialysis treatments he has been receiving since January 2. This means he will die sometime in the next few weeks according to his doctors. I am leaving for Ft. Myers, Florida at 6am tomorrow to have our last time together.

When his kidneys failed, he did not want to undergo dialysis based on the suffering he saw his identical twin brother endure a few years earlier with his dialysis. Our family, his doctors and even his priest encouraged him to give it a shot and he consented. I still can't believe he lasted this long. He has only left the hospital and rehab facility for an occasional day trip to his condo (to play music on his piano) or feast (against his doctors wishes) at a local restaurant when he felt up to it. He is now in hospice care and is too weak to play but still taps a mean toe according to my step-mom.

My father is the reason I started music (as his father was his) in late '67. One night as he played his Wurlitzer organ, he asked me what I wanted to play and I told him I thought second base for the NY Yankees would be OK. He said that's not going to happen and said to pick an instrument. I started music on an upright and have him all to blame. That was tough love, but the finest love there is. Truly a love supreme. I switched to guitar in the 70's until finding my way back here and now play both with reckless abandon whenever I get the chance. I also play with my older son and his friends when asked which really brings it home full-circle for me.

I ask those of you who will pray for him, please do. For those that don't pray, play something hot and tasty when you get the chance. He would dig it. He has been suffering terribly and although I will miss him soon, I will always have his music.

Regards -----------------------

bassplayer1494 · #2 12-17-2012, 08:09 PM

So sorry to hear about your pop. Right now my grandpa is going through dialysis. Been doing it for the past 5 years and it is hell. I send my condolences to you send your family.

**bassistjoe93** · #3 12-17-2012, 08:10 PM

Prayers your way man, that's tough stuff.

MJ5150 · #4 12-17-2012, 08:12 PM

Good man you are Ray. Safe travels.

-Mike

i_got_a_mohawk · #5 12-17-2012, 08:13 PM

Sorry to hear about that

Seem's he's made up his mind and I'm sure that won't have been an easy decision to make

Spatial · #6 12-17-2012, 08:14 PM

I'm sorry to hear that, losing a loved one is never easy. I am sorry for your loss.

bombjack · #7 12-17-2012, 08:15 PM

Love and prayers coming your way from a fellow NYer....I lost my Dad 3 years ago and while we knew his time was short and did spend time with him till the end...it wasn't enough.

Enjoy the time with him in Florida and remind him how much he has meant to you.

Peace to you and your family,
John

pocketgroove · #8 12-17-2012, 08:17 PM

I'm sorry to hear about that; it's hard to deal with the thought of someone close to you passing, but it seems as though he's accepted it as the best choice. Best wishes to both of you, and your family as well.

BawanaRik · #9 12-17-2012, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by i_got_a_mohawk

Sorry to hear about that

Seem's he's made up his mind and I'm sure that won't have been an easy decision to make

But one that must be respected.

pedroims · #10 12-17-2012, 08:23 PM

I am so sorry to hear about this. Your dad seems to be a though guy since he already accept what he needs to face soon. Keep your dad in your memories and all good things you learn from him be sure you pass it to your sons. HAVE THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER

MarkMgibson · #11 12-17-2012, 08:45 PM

I don't pray, but I'll send some good vibes your way. I lost my father to cancer about 9 years ago. He was 62, and a great man. I did get to spend his last year with him, and I hope you enjoy the time you have with your father. Make the most of every minute.

Best wishes,
MarkM

bassteban · #12 12-17-2012, 09:54 PM

Prayers comin

**MAJOR METAL** · #13 12-17-2012, 10:15 PM

Peace and healing to you and your family.

pflash4001 · #14 12-17-2012, 10:16 PM

Man, take a guitar and share some music with him. It's amazing what music can do for your soul...for both of you...may God bless your Christmas together and help your family find peace. I don't know how I'll handle this when I get to this point with my parents. My family's prayers are with you...

hrodbert696 · #15 12-18-2012, 05:31 AM

So sorry for you. He sounds like he is a great guy. I was with my father when he passed a couple of years ago. It's hard, but I'm glad that I was there rather than not being there when the time came. Prayers for you and your family.

**bassybill** · #16 12-18-2012, 05:37 AM

Ray, so sorry to hear this. You have met me and my Dad and so you'll doubtless realise that I can understand exactly what you're saying about the positive influences music can have on a father-son relationship. My thoughts are with you in this situation.

Jim Nazium · #17 12-18-2012, 07:25 AM

Sorry to hear that man. I lost my dad to cancer in July. I am glad that you have time to say goodbye properly, and that you had a good relationship with him.

Peace to both of you.

MrLenny1 · #18 12-18-2012, 07:37 AM

Stay strong man.
Losing a parent is one of the hardest things in life.
I lost my Dad 27 years ago.

slobake · #19 12-18-2012, 08:48 AM

Sounds like your dad is a great guy. I'm sorry to hear about his health but glad you have this time to spend with him now. Prayers for your dad and your family.

Smokin' Toaster · #20 12-18-2012, 09:02 AM

Prayers and good thoughts, and hopes for peace and acceptance for you and your family. It sounds like your dad was a heck of a guy, and he gave you the gift of music and you have loved it and passed it on.

I still have my dad at age 85. i used to come home from school and play guitar until 5. That's when my dad would come home and say the same thing everyday: "Son, play that thing solo... So low I can't hear the damn thing." He is by no means a bad guy, I just didn't get much musical encouragement. He made up for it in many other ways.