My Favorite Blind Joke

[LongHairFreak]

Being blind myself, I figure I'm eligible to tell this one, so don't hate me for it.


What did Helen Keller think the first time she came across a cheese grater?

Yikes!! That's the most violent book I've ever read!

[Oxblood]

lmao

[FL Knifemaker]

I worked on a project once that involved applying Braille to stainless panels. Getting them right was tough, at first, almost impossible. Seeing blind people reading it was amazing. It also never occured to me that there are people who aren't blind that can read it by site AND feel as well One of the most interesting projects I was ever involved with!!

[RWP]

I have tried to read braille in places like elevators and can't feel anything useful at all. It's amazing the blind can read that.

[LongHairFreak]

Ain't no thing to read it; it's just another written language. Though it was certainly a clever formulation, it's core is rather simple.

[peterbright]

That is funny.

[NKUSigEp]

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver?

[Lalabadie]

Originally Posted by FL Knifemaker

I worked on a project once that involved applying Braille to stainless panels. Getting them right was tough, at first, almost impossible. Seeing blind people reading it was amazing. It also never occured to me that there are people who aren't blind that can read it by site AND feel as well One of the most interesting projects I was ever involved with!!

That sounds like an awesome thing to work on! Talk about multi-disciplinary.

[Scarlet Fire]

Originally Posted by NKUSigEp

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver?

Because she was a woman!

[Mark Wilson]

Originally Posted by NKUSigEp

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver?

Which car has the worst blind spot?






Stevie Wonder's

[TrooperFarva]

How do you torture Helen Keller?

Put her in a room, put doorknobs all over the wall, and close the door.

[Valerus]

Originally Posted by Scarlet Fire

Because she was a woman!

BINGO

[Bard2dbone]

Not quite a blind joke:

Two guys are out walking their dogs and kind of hanging out when they decide a beer would be nice. Just down the block is a pub, so one guy says to the other "Let's go in there and get a beer." and the other says "I don't know, man. I don't want to leave the dogs tied up outside and they won't let us take them in." The first guy says "Just follow my lead." and puts on a pair of sunglasses. He goes in to the bar. The bartender says "Hey, man. You can't bring a dog in here." The guy says "But he's my seeing eye dog. I can't go anywhere without him." So the bartender lets him stay. The second guy puts on his sunglasses and goes in. The bartender says "Hey, man. You can't bring a dog in here." The guy says "But he's my seeing eye dog. I can't go anywhere without him." The bartender says "Oh come on. I belived the first guy, but he has a German Shepherd. You're not going to convince me that Chihuahua is a seeing eye dog." And the second guy says...

"They gave me a CHIHUAHUA?!?!?!?!"

[Sonic_Death]

Originally Posted by LongHairFreak

Being blind myself, I figure I'm eligible to tell this one, so don't hate me for it.

Uh, sorry to ask, but how are you blind? I assume it must only be in one eye or something, because I don't think you'd be posting on an internet forum otherwise.

[LongHairFreak]

LOL Those are all awesome. I'll have to remember more to post.

[LongHairFreak]

Originally Posted by Sonic_Death

Uh, sorry to ask, but how are you blind? I assume it must only be in one eye or something, because I don't think you'd be posting on an internet forum otherwise.

Hmmm. A skeptic.

Actually, I have two major eye issues. Retinitis Pigmentosa (RP) in both eyes and Acute Angle-Closure Glaucoma in one. They both carry a host of conditional problems that I won't bother listing here.

To answer your unasked question. My PC uses a screen-reading program called JAWS. It does nothing useful with graphics, but does allow my PC to speak all text... well, unless they're imbedded in graphics.

[Sonic_Death]

Originally Posted by LongHairFreak

Hmmm. A skeptic.

Actually, I have two major eye issues. Retinitis Pigmentosa (RP) in both eyes and Acute Angle-Closure Glaucoma in one. They both carry a host of conditional problems that I won't bother listing here.

To answer your unasked question. My PC uses a screen-reading program called JAWS. It does nothing useful with graphics, but does allow my PC to speak all text... well, unless they're imbedded in graphics.

Interesting. I wonder how that program works and sifts through the text so you wouldn't have to read all of the garbage it may pickup.

[LongHairFreak]

Originally Posted by Sonic_Death

Interesting. I wonder how that program works and sifts through the text so you wouldn't have to read all of the garbage it may pickup.

Man, I'm not so technically savvy that I can say, but I'll tell you what... It's a whole lot easier doing all my reading (not posting) here on TB in the archives. In the archives it's all text, whereas in the 'regular' area, there's a lot of sifting going on. Navigation is much more difficult there.

[LongHairFreak]

How Helen Keller Broke Her Arm

One day Ann Sullivan was driving Helen Keller to another of her many lectures. They were on an unfamiliar road and realizing time was running short, Ann began looking around distractedly. She didn't want to be ticketed for speeding, but she had to drive faster.

"I wonder what the speed limit is here." Ann said distractedly.

"Let me check." Helen replied as she rolled down her window.

[Phalex]

There's this blind guy walking down the street. He comes to the fish market, and as he's walking by he turns towards the door, tips his hat and says..................