My horoscope today......

[fenderhutz]

Taurus April 20 - May 20
While it's true that we all wear masks in our day-to-day lives, yours is the only one with both an elastic band and plastic eyeholes.



http://www.theonion.com/content/horoscope/jan-22-2008

[HollowBassman]

Well, I do make excellent coffee.

[Fontaine]

mine:

The stars predict the start of you getting a little more proactive about your own ******* future for a change. Seriously, enough is enough.

/pwned

[f'nar f'nar]

Misery may love company, but it's been over a month now that you've been crashing on its couch, and, well, you're really starting to bum misery out.

[Mark Wilson]

Cancer June 22 - July 22

Look to nature for encouragement and inspiration this week. Do this for as many ungodly hours as it damn well takes.

[unclejam]

Originally Posted by Mark Wilson

Cancer June 22 - July 22

Look to nature for encouragement and inspiration this week. Do this for as many ungodly hours as it damn well takes.

What he said

[IconBasser]

my two favorites are:

Your heart will be in the right place this Thursday. Unfortunately, the same can't be said for the rest of your inner organs.


and


Your lucky gastrointestinal parasites for this week are: Cryptosporidium, hookworm, Giardia, and Trematodes.