My little one is not so little, when do I get to play again?

[FF Petro]

I am an extremely happy father of a girl that is about to turn two years old. Granted for the first year I think I got to play my instruments about 3 times and these past several months I have gotten to play substantially more... but when am I going to get to play enough that I can actually sustain a good, strong technique?

Am I asking too much and just have to wait until she it 6 or 8?

So when did you young TB fathers get start playing regularly after having a little one liven up, and take over your life?

[mike_v_s]

Originally Posted by FF Petro

I am an extremely happy father of a girl that is about to turn two years old. Granted for the first year I think I got to play my instruments about 3 times and these past several months I have gotten to play substantially more... but when am I going to get to play enough that I can actually sustain a good, strong technique?

Am I asking too much and just have to wait until she it 6 or 8?

So when did you young TB fathers get start playing regularly after having a little one liven up, and take over your life?

I really got back into playing when my youngest was 4. Then I impregnated my wife again. I should mention that i haven't slept all the way through a night since February.

Mike

[bassteban]

If you're not prepared for EVERYTHING to change, do NOT have children.

[MakiSupaStar]

I watch less tv. Play more bass. It's getting so I can also start to include my boy. He reads music almost as good as he reads a storybook.

[Pacman]

When does your kid go to bed?

[WalterBush]

Originally Posted by FF Petro

Am I asking too much and just have to wait until she it 6 or 8?

So when did you young TB fathers get start playing regularly after having a little one liven up, and take over your life?

I don't know that it gets any easier to practice, play, or gig just because kids get older. If you don't figure out how to play more now, simply waiting until the kids get older won't help unless you're willing to wait until they move out.

I've got four kids. Playing music is just something their daddy does, like other dads, um...well, I don't know what other dads do. Go to bars, watch TV, reload shotgun shells, go on fishing trips, whatever.

Ditch other stuff you might do and take up bass now. There's little in life that's as rewarding as watching your toddlers giggle when you play Old MacDonald for them (great slapping practice, btw), or having your own kids rush the stage at an all-ages event. I should take pictures next chance I get, in case I get too old to forget the cuteness some day

[flipper_gv]

buy a soundcard for your pc and play bass in silence with your favorite mp3's. That would be the best option to play while he is sleeping.

[SteveC]

Originally Posted by bassteban

If you're not prepared for EVERYTHING to change, do NOT have children.

More people need to realize this. I haven't slept through the night for over 4 years. We have a 4 year old daughter and a 1 year old son. I tend to practice after they are in bed. I still gig about 5 times a month. My daughter gives me the "I miss you when you're gone" stuff, but I get over it - eventually.

You just have to be creative and you can practice and gig, but family should always come first. The guys I play with know this, and I/we have turned down gigs, adjusted schedules, etc. You don't want to miss these years with your kids. It goes by SO fast it's hard to believe.

[mike_v_s]

Originally Posted by SteveC

More people need to realize this. I haven't slept through the night for over 4 years. We have a 4 year old daughter and a 1 year old son. I tend to practice after they are in bed. I still gig about 5 times a month. My daughter gives me the "I miss you when you're gone" stuff, but I get over it - eventually.

You just have to be creative and you can practice and gig, but family should always come first. The guys I play with know this, and I/we have turned down gigs, adjusted schedules, etc. You don't want to miss these years with your kids. It goes by SO fast it's hard to believe.

+1

My wife and I both work, so our time at home is very valuable. When I got back into playing more regularly a little over a year ago, it was difficult. When my wife delivered our 3rd last February, I told the band to find a replacement. I sit in from time to time, but I've set my priorities. I missed a lot of my first two kids' early years because of work. I'm not making that mistake so I can play a gig or go to practice.

Mike

[PSPookie]

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

I watch less tv. Play more bass.

Remember back in the day when you could come home from work and have time to hang out with the wife, watch some TV, play a game of Madden and then pick up your bass for a bit? Life's not like that any more, is it?

I have two kids (3 and 7 mo.) and I can usually manage to do one of those things on any given evening.

Meh, TV is pretty dumb anyway.

[mike_v_s]

Originally Posted by PSPookie

Remember back in the day when you could come home from work and have time to hang out with the wife, watch some TV, play a game of Madden and then pick up your bass for a bit? Life's not like that any more, is it?

I have two kids (3 and 7 mo.) and I can usually manage to do one of those things on any given evening.

Meh, TV is pretty dumb anyway.

Yeah. I pretty much stopped watching TV after the birth of my first. I used to follow a few programs but was completely unable to after that, so I just gave up. I think I'm better off. Video games? Used to love 'em. Haven't touched my PS2 in 5 years. I wouldn't even know what to do with a PS3.

Mike

[jady]

Originally Posted by Pacman

When does your kid go to bed?

+1

I had a headphone amp and practiced after the kids bedtime.

Now I have an acoustic bass guitar in the living room that I can pick up and play whenever I want.

Stopping gigging was never an option due to relying on the income.

Good luck brother!!!

[EricF]

My kids are 11 and 5. I manage 1 rehearsal a week (late night), and the occasional weekend evening gig. If we can find a sitter, my wife will come to a show, but often time she stays home with our girls. My at-home practice time is usually late evenings a couple of times a week, and the occasional moment when I can sit down with my bass for a few minutes in between other activities. Rule #1: Family comes first. This is what works for me. Everyone has to find their own balance.

[Pilgrim]

All of the above are on target. I didn't play at all during their first 10 years, but I was working on a PhD as well as holding down a full-time job. Priorities were fixed.

It can be done - but you won't get to spend an hour a night practicing.

[Staccato]

Originally Posted by flipper_gv

buy a soundcard for your pc and play bass in silence with your favorite mp3's. That would be the best option to play while he is sleeping.

Use an amp that handles a headset, or plug into a attenuator/dummy load box.

I'm of the opinion that our children or babies should be accustomed to music, guitars, amps ON A REGULAR BASIS in the womb, and after birth. When you live a block from the train tracks, you get accustomed, and hardly notice after conditioning...

[gm2_in_co]

Much of my playing is vicarious now: Three of the four chose the route of professional musician to one extent or another. I think that's how it should be. As you procreate, your passions, your life energy begin to transfer to your offspring as you, no matter what your beliefs are headed to the same end we all face.

That being said, I started finding myself with some time and energy for my own music when my youngest was around 16. Now that one is 18 and will be a senior in high school while taking most of his classes at the local community college and I find that I desperately NEED to play or write or photograph or SOMETHING to give my remaining years some purpose and direction.

[hrodbert696]

My youngest was two when I started to play bass (for the first time since college). What exactly is the problem? How much time do you think you need to be able to sustain your technique (since you say you have been playing more over the last year)? Is mama cool with you having one night a week you're out on a gig or at practice (I assume there's a wife or girlfriend or something involved here)?

[FF Petro]

I guess, maybe I was expecting too much. I do get to spend a little time after she goes to bed through headphones, of course.

Is just about to turn 2 and has always gone to sleep around 8pm and slept through the night well over a year. I knew that everything would be turned upside- down when we got pregnant. My girls are my number one priority since I met both of them and I would gladly give up anything (including music) if it came between them and myself.

Maybe I just feel bad that all this equipment is downstairs and I just can't find anytime to use it. I haven't cranked up the amps in well over a year. I have a POD XT Live and I use that to send the signal to my headphones.

Thanks for all the responses! Keep 'em coming if anyone else has something to add.

[FF Petro]

Originally Posted by mike_v_s

Yeah. I pretty much stopped watching TV after the birth of my first. I used to follow a few programs but was completely unable to after that, so I just gave up. I think I'm better off. Video games? Used to love 'em. Haven't touched my PS2 in 5 years. I wouldn't even know what to do with a PS3.

Mike

I learned the tv problem a while ago. We cancelled cable tv a few months after she was born due to lack of interest. Now that we do have some more time on our hands instead of veg-ing out in front of the tube we can clean or get to things around the house more.

I seriously suggest canceling cable to friends and they look at me like I have three heads.

[Joe Gress]

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

He reads music almost as good as he reads a storybook.

Dude that is too cool to hear.