Need SERIOUS advice...

AmazingGracePlayer · #1 02-05-2008, 11:23 AM

Well, maybe this type of problem doesn't "deserve" to be too tangled up with the law, but...

So here's the story, my college roommate and I have problems. The problem in short, is that he likes a girl, she turned him down. The girl liked me, and I turned her down, and now she's mad and tells my roommate all these stories about how me (supposedly my roommate's good friend) had a relationship with her behind his back.

We shall call my roommate XYZ.

So then he gets all mad at me, and wanted to talk to me. So we are in our room, and he is threatening me. He is not the type of person who likes to fight or get angry easily. But, whatever. So afterwards, I reported him, just to teach him the lesson of not threatening people. And we signed a contract, which pretty much says...

"Me and XYZ agree to remain roommates of ABC Building, Room 203, unless the following rules are violated... We must not speak or act in a threatening manner or a manner that causes emotional distress; we must behave civilly when it comes to solving problems..."

Now we both signed the contract. A week after, I want to switch roommates, because it is really awkward living with him. So I ask my Residence Assistant, and she says that we cannot switch because we signed a contract that keeps us as roommates unless the rules are violated (the violater will be moved, so I can't start threatening him if I want to remain in this building). I know that a RA does not have the right to keep me from my freedom of switching roommates, but the contract was the problem.

I want to switch roommates, but I can't really just disregard the contract that we signed, but is there a way to work around it? Are there any laws or anything that states that contracts drafted by non-legal individuals (in this case, the RA) is void under certain conditions or whatnot? In short, how can I switch roommates given the contract? If anyone can give me any advice that can pull laws into the picture, that would be awesome. If not, just any method to work around the contract would also be fine.

Please provide me with some (serious) advice, this means a lot to me.

Thanks guys!

EDIT: since roommate switch involves 4 people (us two and another group of 2), I already got consent from both of the other 2 people. And in my school, I only need consent from the 2 who are physically going to be moving. So getting consent is not a problem.

MakiSupaStar · #2 02-05-2008, 11:29 AM

Off-campus housing. [/thread]

**Thor** · #3 02-05-2008, 11:30 AM

Not all roommates are going to get along.

That being said, you entered into an agreement to act in
a civil manner with your roommate. A part of this is a
learning experience. Now you guys have to actually talk
about your issues and work them out. Doesn't sound like
you guys spent much time resolving this stuff in a week.

Go about your business and act in a forthright and curteous
manner. Dump YOKO for sure, she sounds like trouble.

MakiSupaStar · #4 02-05-2008, 11:34 AM

Drink beer and go buy some whores like a good ol' god fearin' american. That'll patch things up right tightly.

FuturePrimitive · #5 02-05-2008, 11:34 AM

They actually had you two sign a "contract" saying you would be civil with each other? I think that's the most distressing thing in your post.

morf · #6 02-05-2008, 11:34 AM

talk it out with the guy. obviously this is a misunderstanding.

Dan1099 · #7 02-05-2008, 11:35 AM

bummer of a situation, but....
-You wanted to teach him a lesson about threatening people? Just doesn't seem like something you should do if you want to maintain a healthy relationship with this person.
-You don't have a "right" to switch roommates. The dorms are owned by the school, and as such, their own rules apply. There's no "right" listed anywhere to be able to switch roommates any time you want. The only "right" you have in the matter is to not live there anymore.
-Most schools aren't in the habit of allowing students to just move around at will. It's a logistical nightmare. And it's not the real world. They only move students in extreme cases, like the threat of violence, property theft, extreme disturbance etc. The "threat of violence" might have held you some ground, but you already brought that up with them, and resolved it in a manner that didn't involve either of you moving out.

disenchant · #8 02-05-2008, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thor

Not all roommates are going to get along.

That being said, you entered into an agreement to act in
a civil manner with your roommate. A part of this is a
learning experience. Now you guys have to actually talk
about your issues and work them out. Doesn't sound like
you guys spent much time resolving this stuff in a week.

Go about your business and act in a forthright and curteous
manner. Dump YOKO for sure, she sounds like trouble.

+1

Realize YOKO is the cause of you two fighting. She's just being a woman scorned and trying to cause trouble between two friends because she didn't get what she wanted. Two people who get along will not fight unless a third party enters the scene and causes trouble.

Talk it out with your roommate, and make YOKO the bad guy. Show that you two are on the same side. That's step one to healing the breach. You two need to be on the same team again. You could say something like "look man, sorry about all the **** that happened. YOKO is a real troublemaker isn't she? She had me snowed, how about you?"

Then go do some fun thing together, rent a movie, drink beer, play Guitar Hero III, something.

You can't run away from all life's problems. And if you got along before you'll get along again. College is supposed to teach you about life. Consider it a lesson in life.

If you still can't heal the breach, consider talking to your roommate about which one is going to leave. Then find someone else willing to switch. That's what I did when my college roommate and I didn't get along. She found someone who needed a roommate cuz their roomie was dropping out. Then her and the new roomie went to housing and declared that they wanted to be roommates. Housing pushed it through, and I found someone else I wanted to live with and got them bumped up (they were on a waiting list). If you go together and declare you want to be roommates, they'll usually honor it.

**Horny Toad** · #9 02-05-2008, 11:42 AM

AmazingGracePlayer,

You've got a hot asian chick explaining YOKO to you. I suggest you heed her advice.

AmazingGracePlayer · #10 02-05-2008, 11:43 AM

There's nothing to talk about. He acts like a 12 year old all day. There's nothing to reason. It's like reasoning with a little kid, they don't have the mind of an adult.

Also, roommate switch involves 4 people (us two and another group of 2), I already got consent from both of the other 2 people. And in my school, I only need consent from the 2 who are physically going to be moving. So getting consent is not a problem.

casualmadness · #11 02-05-2008, 11:50 AM

Find yourself a g/f, fwb, or a fb and spend most of your time at her place. Once the semester ends, move out and get your own place off campus. Or at the very least, get a different roomate. But for the love of god don't get a place with your g/f, fwb, or fb. That's just asking for trouble.

Deacon_Blues · #12 02-05-2008, 11:50 AM

You'll learn to live with that/get over it/whatever. Sometimes you just have to accept things aren't like you would want them to be, and you have the signed contract there against you. Sorry to tell you this, but in the army I had no option to choose which roommates I got. I just had to adjust to the situation... Some of them I got well along with, others were pain-in-the-***'s.

Anyway, in your situation...

- if you can find a guy "X" who want to switch room with you (perhaps one of his friends?), and
- your roomate doesn't mind getting X as a new roommate, and
- X's current roommate doesn't mind you moving in with him,

..I don't see a reason you couldn't get around the contract...

EDIT: Just read your post above. Looks like you could make this work.

LowDown Hal · #13 02-05-2008, 11:54 AM

I'm confused, who ended up tapping the tramp

disenchant · #14 02-05-2008, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Horny Toad

AmazingGracePlayer,

You've got a hot asian chick explaining YOKO to you. I suggest you heed her advice.

YEAH!!!

You're going to let a GIRL get between you two? Bros before Hos!

I had a similar situation and I had to apply Chicks before D----. My friend was hurt and upset because she liked the guy and she did take it out on me. But you know what, she got over it and we're still friends.

Dood, give this some TIME before you make irrational decisions. There are people who will have to do a lot of paperwork because YOU and your roomie couldn't get along. If after a month you still can't get along, then approach about switching. At least then they know you gave it a chance.

**cheezewiz** · #15 02-05-2008, 12:12 PM

Sorry man. I made it through the first line or two before I stopped caring enough to read any further.

casualmadness · #16 02-05-2008, 12:14 PM

Why would you just hang out in the dorms anyway? It's college. You should be driving a ho runner, going to parties, hanging out with your friends, exploring nearby cities if you aren't from the area, taking road trips, etc. You should only be in the dorms to sleep and maybe to study. But really though, if you do it right; you don't even need to be there for that. My dorm mate was an idiot for the one semester that I lived on campus. But I didn't care because I was rarely ever in the room. Luckily my neighbors also hated my roomate so I became friends with all of them based on the common hatred of my roomate. So even when there wasn't anywhere else to be, I always had cool neighbors to hang out with. I think I opnly saw the guy about a dozen times the entire semester. At the end of the semester, I packed up and moved out. I was gone before he even got home from class. Too easy.

MakiSupaStar · #17 02-05-2008, 12:40 PM

The sad part about this is that neither of you got laid and you let a chick get between you. Need I remind you of the following Man Law.

Man Law 63. Bros before Hos (Kind of implied but it needs to be documented none the less)

JNowiski · #18 02-05-2008, 01:08 PM

just tell him the chicks a lying wench and that you don't want to touch her skanky ass.

morf · #19 02-05-2008, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JNowiski

just tell him the chicks a lying wench and that you don't want to touch her skanky ass.

Exactly.

Pilgrim · #20 02-05-2008, 01:22 PM

I work at a university.

Your question isn't to us, it's to the housing authorities at your school. Nothing we say here means anything...because their rules are what matters.

You may possibly have the option of moving off-campus, but only if school regs allow it. And if you do, you'll probably be financially liable for penalties for breaking your housing contract.

You signed a contract. Maybe you thought that it just meant your roommate would have to play nice, but the contract MEANS something. Read it. You need to man up and work through it.