Office Survival

mike_v_s · #1 11-25-2008, 01:11 PM

I've been "in house" for over a year. Every now and then I get to venture out into civilization and I cherish those precious moments, but mostly my services are needed at the office. As such, every small nuance of office life has started to grate my nerves.

We ran out of labels yesterday. Apparently the guy that designed them only prints up a batch for us between benders, so we're waiting. Nevermind that it would have made sense to just GET A COPY of the "blank" with our logo and run with it. That makes too much sense.

So I've gone "My Side of the Mountain". I'm making all my own stuff out of neccesity. Today several reports were mailed through an unapproved shipper using labels without our logo. I told a coworker to tell anyone looking for me that I was in the bathroom while I drove to DHL.

The ink is low in my printer. I was down to two options. The first was to make my own from wild berries and animal fat. I went with option two: trap our Administrative Assitant and "harvest" any ink catriges she might have on her person. I've designed a deadfall with our copier for just such a scenario. I'm using a stale donut for bait.

I'm making a coat from manilla folders and paperclips for the winter.

Mike

jady · #2 11-25-2008, 01:27 PM

Offices are just Elementary Schools without recess where childishness abounds and irrational reactions are the norm.

mike_v_s · #3 11-25-2008, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jady

Offices are just Elementary Schools without recess where childishness abounds and irrational reactions are the norm.

Well, I NORMALLY spend weeks at a time in the field doing my own thing on my own schedule and emailing/calling in the updates. Staying in here is driving me mad. People obsess over the size of the margins on our letterhead and the pros and cons of "staple vs. paperclip". Getting supplies to do my job is like asking for a glacier to be brought in for ice cubes. I'm going to fashion a bow and arrow out of an old office chair and rubberbands to see if I can bag one of the slower and weaker secretaries. I need pencils.

Mike

Darkstrike · #4 11-25-2008, 01:42 PM

Can I have a job? This sounds like great fun!

MJ5150 · #5 11-25-2008, 01:44 PM

I work from home more often than not, but I've had to come to the office quite a bit in the last few weeks to train some people. It's terrible, and I agree with the elementary school comment. Some of the people I see in the building and their antics just blows me away.

The thing that has really soured me to office working is the office politics. I worked in construction for 15+ years. If you had a problem with a guy, you went right to him and ironed it out. Sometimes right then, or in the parking lot before you went home. The slow, less skilled workers got laid off. Around here, you got these alliances, brown nosers, back stabbers, political correctness, and so on. Yuck!

-Mike

mike_v_s · #6 11-25-2008, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJ5150

I work from home more often than not, but I've had to come to the office quite a bit in the last few weeks to train some people. It's terrible, and I agree with the elementary school comment. Some of the people I see in the building and their antics just blows me away.

The thing that has really soured me to office working is the office politics. I worked in construction for 15+ years. If you had a problem with a guy, you went right to him and ironed it out. Sometimes right then, or in the parking lot before you went home. The slow, less skilled workers got laid off. Around here, you got these alliances, brown nosers, back stabbers, political correctness, and so on. Yuck!

-Mike

I can sympathize, but my big concern is the hoarding of office supplies and the failure to ensure that we have what we need to do a job. I could go further, but I regularily enjoy my job and REALLY like the My Side of the Mountain parallel so.....

I fear I might be running out of the heavier report binders. At this point, the only solution is tanning the skin of a coworker and using that. Besides, everyone like leather bound reports. They look more professional.

Mike

MJ5150 · #7 11-25-2008, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mike_v_s

......my big concern is the hoarding of office supplies and the failure to ensure that we have what we need to do a job.

Any other companies in your building, complex? A couple of yahoo's where I work will go to the other companies in our building and see how much office supplies they can come back with. It started with taking their coffee and using their bathrooms, now they get pens and such while they are there.

-Mike

mike_v_s · #8 11-25-2008, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJ5150

Any other companies in your building, complex? A couple of yahoo's where I work will go to the other companies in our building and see how much office supplies they can come back with. It started with taking their coffee and using their bathrooms, now they get pens and such while they are there.

-Mike

Nah, we own the building and no one else has keys to our suite. We just have incompetent people incharge of these things. We ran out of paper last year. PAPER. When paper went on sale, we overbought. I could have built a shelter out of the cases we had stacked in every corner. We're a small outfit that makes a lot of money, there is no reason for any of this to happen.

I love my job, but I work better (or more sane) in the field.

Mike

Selta · #9 11-25-2008, 02:04 PM

After being trapped in the loonie bin where I work for 2.5 years, I've come to realize that it sucks.
This mostly happened with some "adjustments" they did to mis-"management". I have a lot of respect for some of the cats there, but damn, sometimes I just wish I could do my job the best I know how, without having to deal with the politics and such along the way.

Office war-fare for the win.

EricF · #10 11-25-2008, 02:36 PM

The corporate cube-farm habitat is an interesting place to observe human behavior. People will resort to actions and behavior that they wouldn't even consider in any other part of their life.

MatticusMania · #11 11-25-2008, 02:37 PM

I equate office work more to high school than elementary school. youve got all the relationship troubles betweent his person and that, gossip abounds, back stabbers, "teachers" pets, and all the like. I hang out with the school bully, so no one messes with me. And in my spare time I build things with our abundant office supplies, like the time I fashioned a boat out of a three ring binder, 2 sharpies, some paperclips, a rubberband and some white out. Or the super cool post-it poster I made of my cat.

MatticusMania · #12 11-25-2008, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EricF

People will resort to actions and behavior that they wouldn't even consider in any other part of their life.

except high school

EricF · #13 11-25-2008, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

except high school

I've seen way more sneaky, back-stabbing, political, self-serving, irrational, and immature behavior in the cube-farms than I ever saw in high school.

MatticusMania · #14 11-25-2008, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EricF

I've seen way more sneaky, back-stabbing, political, self-serving, irrational, and immature behavior in the cube-farms than I ever saw in high school.

Maybe my high school had a lot more sneaky, back-stabbing, political, self-serving, irrational, and immature people in it than yours. Or maybe my cube farm just isnt as bad. I try to disassociate myself from most of the interoffice politics. But they did just lay off a pregnant chick when they should have layed off this other chick who spends all day writing email and doing school work. (or me, I am on talkbass all day...)

EricF · #15 11-25-2008, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

Maybe my high school had a lot more sneaky, back-stabbing, political, self-serving, irrational, and immature people in it than yours. Or maybe my cube farm just isnt as bad. I try to disassociate myself from most of the interoffice politics. But they did just lay off a pregnant chick when they should have layed off this other chick who spends all day writing email and doing school work. (or me, I am on talkbass all day...)

High school and cube-farms may well be a toss-up for all that, then. I'm plenty happy to not be in either any more.

jady · #16 11-25-2008, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EricF

I've seen way more sneaky, back-stabbing, political, self-serving, irrational, and immature behavior in the cube-farms than I ever saw in high school.

+1, it is downright stupid around here.

The only way I have found to survive is to view the office as a reality show. I just sit back with popcorn and enjoy

BishopM05 · #17 11-25-2008, 03:36 PM

man, you must have it rough. Other than the occational stupid management decision, it's pretty clean around here. Perhaps I'm not in the in-crowd though.

Shoot, my guitarist used to work here in cube land, and we would jam in an empty office during lunch. That was sweet until he got laid off...my guess on that is our VP is a guitard instead of a musician and was jealous.

EricF · #18 11-25-2008, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jady

+1, it is downright stupid around here.

The only way I have found to survive is to view the office as a reality show. I just sit back with popcorn and enjoy

My wife (who works in corporate hell) and I have often talked about how entertaining it would be to have a Survivor-like TV show based in a cube-farm setting.

MatticusMania · #19 11-25-2008, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EricF

My wife (who works in corporate hell) and I have often talked about how entertaining it would be to have a Survivor-like TV show based in a cube-farm setting.

You just might have a million dollar idea there, unless they try and turn it into the apprentice.

EricF · #20 11-25-2008, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

You just might have a million dollar idea there, unless they try and turn it into the apprentice.

No way - Apprentice has been done. This has got to be a Survivor-format kind of elimination, complete with pointless (yet entertaining) challenges. Kind of a Survivor meets Office Space kind of thing.

Based on mike_v_s' posts in this thread, I nominate him as creative director for designing the challenges.