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02-22-2011, 07:10 PM
|  | Supporting Member | | Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Ohio | |
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Dear Dirtbag, if you are going to commit an armed robbery at a convenience store, don't do it on foot, in 6 inches of fresh snow, two blocks from your apartment, and run directly back there.
Just another tip to make your life easier. |
02-22-2011, 07:23 PM
|  | The Lowdown Diggler | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Huntington Beach, CA | | Hahahaha.  |
02-22-2011, 07:28 PM
|  | I fling carrots | | Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Make a left at the Taco Bell | | The only thing better than a dirtbag criminal is a cognitively impaired dirtbag criminal!
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Originally Posted by MatticusMania  Strange to say it... but Perry is a man who understands. | Quote:
Originally Posted by macaroni tony Back in the day, I thought I was hard. I think we all know I was pretty much lying to myself | |
02-22-2011, 07:34 PM
|  | is, against all odds, still a scuba viking. | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Alta Loma, California | | | post of the day!
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Originally Posted by Dr. Cheese It is never the duty of the oppressed to make a bigot feel comfortable. | |
02-22-2011, 07:35 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: New-brunswick | | Damn it  |
02-22-2011, 07:38 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Harrisburg PA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by cheezewiz Dear Dirtbag, if you are going to commit an armed robbery at a convenience store, don't do it on foot, in 6 inches of fresh snow, two blocks from your apartment, and run directly back there.
Just another tip to make your life easier. | idk, if they absolutely must commit the crime i'd hope more of them choose this method.. easier to weed them out |
02-22-2011, 07:47 PM
| | Supporting Member | | Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Ohio | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by Eric Perry The only thing better than a dirtbag criminal is a cognitively impaired dirtbag criminal! | Fortunately for society, the great majority of criminals are not entirely bright. |
02-22-2011, 08:11 PM
| | Registered User
Beta Tester: Source Audio. Hacker: Heavy Drone FX | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Spokane, WA. | | | Candidate for the Darwin Award? |
02-22-2011, 08:15 PM
| | | Around where I live, years ago, a guy robbed a bank wearing an old army jacket with his name on it.
...If I can remember correctly, they caught him relatively quickly after the incident.
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02-22-2011, 08:28 PM
|  | Friends, Romans, Bass Players... | | Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Spencer, MA, USA | | | Wasn't there a TV show on years ago about stupid criminals? I remember it being pretty funny!
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02-22-2011, 09:06 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Central Alberta | | | That's my favorite section in Bathroom Readers. |
02-23-2011, 07:46 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Tampa, Florida, US | | I saw a news story where two burglars didn't have ski masks, so they painted their faces black with sharpies. No joke.
Edit: Found the link http://nextround.net/2009/10/fail-bu...rkers-arrested
I think though, what's on all of our minds is, Cheeze, did you summarily beat him into a pulp, taze him in the testicles multiple times, and then shoot him as he was restrained and being hand cuffed? I hear that's standard police procedure.
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02-23-2011, 08:00 AM
|  | Yeah, I've got the moves like Jagger. | | Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: G.R. MI | | Quote:
Originally Posted by cheezewiz Dear Dirtbag, if you are going to commit an armed robbery at a convenience store, don't do it on foot, in 6 inches of fresh snow, two blocks from your apartment, and run directly back there.
Just another tip to make your life easier. | You too? They just tracked a guy here using the same technique. 
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Originally Posted by hover He's got the Moo OO OO OO OO OO OO OObs like Jagger.... | |
02-23-2011, 08:14 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Coeur d'Alene | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by warwick.hoy Candidate for the Darwin Award? | Only if Cheezewiz shot him in the garbage. :crosses fingers:
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02-23-2011, 08:50 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Eh? | | | We had a thief run away at night with those '90s light-up running shoes.
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Originally Posted by tom once dead Also to prove my Australianism, I've been stung by an irukandji jellyfish before, while snorkelling at an island looking at stingrays. | |
02-23-2011, 09:04 AM
|  | That's the way uh huh uh huh I like it.. | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Robbinsville, NJ | | | At my ex wife's house, they have a group-type home next door. A couple of years ago my wife started finding things missing from the house. Once it was my son's change jar full of quarters, then she would find cash missing from her desk drawer... that sort of thing.
Then one fine snowy day, it happened again and she called the cops who were able to follow the footprints from the home next door, right to my son's bedroom window, through the wet footprints inside. He went next door to talk with the folks there and was able to match up the tread to the shoe to the culprit pretty much right on the spot, it was so obvious. The guy never got charged though as he was mentally handicapped. The supervisor of the home got a pretty nasty reprimand but that was it.
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02-23-2011, 09:05 AM
| | I fling carrots | | Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Make a left at the Taco Bell | | Quote:
Originally Posted by sloasdaylight | That's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Not only were these wastes of life caught, but their colossal stupidity lives on forever via teh intrawebZ.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by MatticusMania Strange to say it... but Perry is a man who understands. | Quote:
Originally Posted by macaroni tony Back in the day, I thought I was hard. I think we all know I was pretty much lying to myself | |
02-23-2011, 09:18 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Oak Park, MI | | Quote:
Originally Posted by sloasdaylight I saw a news story where two burglars didn't have ski masks, so they painted their faces black with sharpies. No joke.
Edit: Found the link http://nextround.net/2009/10/fail-bu...rkers-arrested
I think though, what's on all of our minds is, Cheeze, did you summarily beat him into a pulp, taze him in the testicles multiple times, and then shoot him as he was restrained and being hand cuffed? I hear that's standard police procedure. |
Actually, I suspect all Cheese did was confiscate the criminals large stocked Single Malt cabinet so he could take it back to the Freemont CSI for testing.
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02-23-2011, 05:01 PM
| | Supporting Member | | Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Ohio | | Quote:
Originally Posted by sloasdaylight I think though, what's on all of our minds is, Cheeze, did you summarily beat him into a pulp, taze him in the testicles multiple times, and then shoot him as he was restrained and being hand cuffed? I hear that's standard police procedure. | I couldn't. He wasn't a minority. |
02-23-2011, 05:11 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Winnipeg,Siberia | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Relic At my ex wife's house, they have a group-type home next door. A couple of years ago my wife started finding things missing from the house. Once it was my son's change jar full of quarters, then she would find cash missing from her desk drawer... that sort of thing.
Then one fine snowy day, it happened again and she called the cops who were able to follow the footprints from the home next door, right to my son's bedroom window, through the wet footprints inside. He went next door to talk with the folks there and was able to match up the tread to the shoe to the culprit pretty much right on the spot, it was so obvious. The guy never got charged though as he was mentally handicapped. The supervisor of the home got a pretty nasty reprimand but that was it. | that's one nasty reprimand more than he'd get here.....the punishments for property crimes here are so light that they may as well make them legal.....
just the other day a thirty year old cold case homicide was concluded with a second degree conviction because the dude who tied up a 13 year old girl and left her to freeze in an abandoned shack after raping her could not be found to have the intent to kill beforehand......
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