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View Poll Results: How do I get out of murdering the wife's orchids | |
Say nothing. Know nothing. See nothing.
|    | 25 | 30.49% | |
Tell the truth, get down on knees and beg forgiveness
|    | 31 | 37.80% | |
Blame it all on the dogs and/or cat.
|    | 2 | 2.44% | |
Lie my arse off in about a week. IE: "OMG it looks like your orchids have some sort of disease!"
|    | 9 | 10.98% | |
Transplant all with carrots.
|    | 15 | 18.29% |
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12-22-2012, 05:46 PM
|  | Just one more question | | Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: San Franciscco, CA | | | Get really drunk then tell her the truth. She might be afraid to say anything to you when you are really drunk and if she does you won't remember anyway. Or maybe she will want to get really drunk too.
I hope you noticed the irony font.
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12-22-2012, 05:49 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Brooklyn Park, MN. | | | Well?
How did it go?
How long do you think you will be cut off?
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It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it.
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12-22-2012, 06:46 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Robbinsville, NJ | | | *whistling*
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Originally Posted by Relic  meh | |
12-22-2012, 07:38 PM
|  | Moderator
Endorsing Artist: Martin Keith Guitars Moderator | | Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Long Island, NY | | Quote:
Originally Posted by HaMMerHeD Otherwise, nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. | OTOH, I can't disagree with one of the best lines from one of the best movies ever.
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12-22-2012, 07:47 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cary NC | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by hdracer That's what you get for cleaning.
You should be on the couch with a beer watching tv. | +1.
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12-22-2012, 10:14 PM
|  | The Lowdown Diggler | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Huntington Beach, CA | | | Pee on them. It balances the bleach. |
12-22-2012, 11:33 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: New Zealand | | | Probably too late now but spritzing liberally with actual water may have done the trick.
I dunno about the disease idea. She could take some cuttings and be back in business come spring 2014, about the same time you get your privileges back if you own up.
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12-22-2012, 11:57 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Plano, TX | | | I figure you'll get a bit of leeway because you cleaned the house.
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12-23-2012, 07:10 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Make a left at the Taco Bell | | Quote:
Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar Pee on them. It balances the bleach. | ...and add some poop to fertilize.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Phalex My thumbs look exactly like my wife's big toes. They're like smelly little doppelgangers! | |
12-23-2012, 07:28 AM
|  | Registered User | | | | Quote:
Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar Pee on them. It balances the bleach. | Nope, that's just more ammonia.
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12-23-2012, 05:02 PM
|  | Am I on time? | | Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: WA State | | Prized orchids, oh man - you did it now! 
Just tell her the truth - you spaced on the bottles - she will understand ..... I hear orchids make great Christmas presents 
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12-23-2012, 07:07 PM
| | The Lowdown Diggler | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Huntington Beach, CA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by jbrooks Nope, that's just more ammonia. | Oh, I thought this was the bad advise thread. Whoops. At least, I didn't tell him to spray windex on his flowers. That would have been a really dumb mistake. Only a complete idiot would do something THAT dumb....  |
12-23-2012, 08:00 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Robbinsville, NJ | | | HAHA
I took each one, flushed the leaves with water, dried them (yes DRIED THEM, dammit) addressed each one by name in soothing tones (yes, they have names. Now you know the depth of my terror) ran water through the root system, carefully put everything back into place and I'm NOT SAYING SHNIT!!!
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Relic meh | |
12-23-2012, 09:29 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ottawa, ontario, canada | | | Dilute with plain water spray . |
12-23-2012, 09:31 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ottawa, ontario, canada | | | Ya don't say anything , |
12-23-2012, 09:35 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ottawa, ontario, canada | | | What you've done in effect is a common infestation prevention method. ie spider mite
If the orchids are picture perfect with no discoloration they're probably fine.
At worst you might have killed the next large leaf. |
12-24-2012, 05:36 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Robbinsville, NJ | | | Dear Diary,
Day two of my dilemma. She has not noticed. There is a very slight inkling that I might get away with this, though I dare not hope. Perhaps Christmas miracles are true. Specimen 1 - aka "Cornelia" appears to be outwardly fine. In fact much cleaner than she/it was a few days ago...downright sparkly clean if I might say so. Specimen 2, "Matilda" on the other hand lost her flower. What a dreadful moment. There we were sitting in the room when Matilda's single vomit pale yellow flower spontaneously falls to the floor...fluttering down to the ground like a single glob of reeking Hill Giant dandruff.... The warden...errrr..wife looks at me and in a moment of weakness, I almost confessed. I opened my mouth and paused...my brain swarmed with a roiling bees' nest of ways to say "I sprayed your orchids with windex!!! I'm sooooorrrryyyy!!!!" but...somehow... none of those little "bees" seemed to carry just the right words. I inhaled...... the moment of truth approaches....I paused.....and out it comes:
"awwww looks like she lost a flower...too bad..."
And there it stands, dear diary. There it stands.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Relic meh | |
12-24-2012, 05:40 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Make a left at the Taco Bell | | | Hahaha!!
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Phalex My thumbs look exactly like my wife's big toes. They're like smelly little doppelgangers! | |
12-24-2012, 06:13 AM
| | | | Don't you have kids?
They are convenient scapegoats.
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12-24-2012, 07:32 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: South Florida, in the U.S.A. | | | Say Nothing , maybe they will live.
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