Which one is more likely to cheat on their spouse?

[jive1]

My wife and I were discussing on how it seems that in our experience, it's not the confident, outgoing slicksters that cheat on their wife as much as it is the quiet, shy guys who have a hard time saying no.

The theory is that the confident guys are more in control of the situation and are better able to see where a situation might lead, because they have more experience with people and the opposite sex in general. Not to say they can't cheat on their wives, but that they are more aware of when an opportunity exists and how their actions could lead the situation.

On the other hand, the shy guys who can't say no have a hard time setting boundaries. They are not as experienced with dealing with others, so they don't see how a situation can unfold and may have less control over it. They are also more likely to take part in passive-aggressive behavior such as cheating on your spouse out of anger, as opposed to confronting your spouse about the issue.

This is just some thoughts and a half-baked theory of ours.
What are your thoughts?

[JonathanD]

Degree of Confidence = relative "size"
In this situation.

[jomahu]

people who cheat are the ones most likely to cheat.

[Mon Rominee]

Originally Posted by JonathanD

Degree of Confidence = relative "size"
In this situation.

You BETCHA!

[Thor]

I really think the issue is much more complicated that this and
you can't categorize human behavior that simply.

For example, it doesn't address whether the woman he potentially cheats with is married or single/divorced. It doesn't address potential financial motivation of the single/divorced woman either.

It also doesn't address the state of the existing relationship
with the spouse, and if there is a dominant partner, or
unhappy partner(s).

And another example is whether the husband was a
product of a broken home, or had parents that were
adulterous. Same goes for the adulteress.


In my mind, all that factors in.

[MoD_Scotty]

Of all the people I've known to be cheaters, 90% of them fit type A. The quiet shy ones might be the first to engage in questionable internet dealings (emailing ex's, stuff like that), but the outgoing ones were definitely more likely to flirt with everything that walks, and follow up on it when the opportunity arises. That's just what I've observed though.

[Son of Sanford]

Originally Posted by Thor

I really think the issue is much more complicated that this and
you can't categorize human behavior that simply.

For example, it doesn't address whether the woman he potentially cheats with is married or single/divorced. It doesn't address potential financial motivation of the single/divorced woman either.

It also doesn't address the state of the existing relationship
with the spouse, and if there is a dominant partner, or
unhappy partner(s).

And another example is whether the husband was a
product of a broken home, or had parents that were
adulterous. Same goes for the adulteress.


In my mind, all that factors in.

+1 too many other factors to consider.

[dave64o]

Originally Posted by Son of Sanford

+1 too many other factors to consider.

Yep. However, based on people I know who've cheated on a spouse or have been cheated on by a spouse, it seems like the confident, outgoing slicksters do it more often.

By the way, that goes for women as well as men. I have two friends who are decent guys and outstanding fathers who had their "strong, confident, modern woman" tell them they wanted someone more like them. In both cases, their wives first set up a new relationship and spoke to a divorce lawyer before they finally told the guys. You might say they had their heads in the sand if they didn't see it coming, but knowing their ex-wives it didn't surprise me that either would do something that calculating.

[ROON]

Carrots. Cheaters come in all shapes and sizes.

[Deacon_Blues]

Alternative A. In my experience, all (three) people I know that have cheated on their spouses have de facto been very outgoing, social guys. Anyway, the equation is not really that simple. It's only easier for them to cheat because they have the social skills needed.

A woman I know who has studied sexual behavior has once told something in the lines with that men wants 1) a woman that is a good sex partner (to him), 2) a woman to "impress" their friends and family with. Sometimes the woman only falls into one of these categories, and thus she's "not enough" for her partner. Then if I further elaborate on the issue, it feels that if the partner falls into group 2, the man is more likely to cheat on her than if the partner belongs to group 1. (I don't know any women that have been cheating on their partners but I guess the theory works the other way as well).

[Stumbo]

...a series of well-known surveys conducted between 1990 and 2002 by the University of Chicago, which revealed:

• 30% of all adults who say that their marriage is not too happy report having an extramarital affair.

• 17% of all adults who say their marriage is pretty happy report an extramarital affair.

• And a surprising 10% of all adults who say their marriage is really happy , also admitted to having an affair.

See: http://www.marriagemissions.com/infi...-of-the-heart/ for full article.

[Chunk-O-Funk]

I really don't think the personalities have anything to do with cheating at all.

just to use the same example. One could argue that the more confident guy who is in control of the situation and have more experience with people have the better skills at manipulation and believe himself to easily get away with it.

The shy guy not having this skill will rely more on what's right and what wrong and stick to that knowing he will more than likely not get away with it due to lack of confidence.


Either way. You have a problem with cheating or you don't. I think it's more about ones conscious, assuming everything in the relationship is going well.

[Curtybob]

Originally Posted by Stumbo

...a series of well-known surveys conducted between 1990 and 2002 by the University of Chicago, which revealed:

• 30% of all adults who say that their marriage is not too happy report having an extramarital affair.

• 17% of all adults who say their marriage is pretty happy report an extramarital affair.

• And a surprising 10% of all adults who say their marriage is really happy , also admitted to having an affair.

See: http://www.marriagemissions.com/infi...-of-the-heart/ for full article.

They missed the part where 60% of people don't admit to having extramarital affairs.

[MakiSupaStar]

Another factor to consider is whether any of the chicks involved are asian.

[eedre]

Confidence and cheating really don't have anything to do with each other imo.

It really depends on if the guy has the will power to say "no" when his pants are saying "why not"

[Curtybob]

What's with the focus on guys being the cheaters? IME, it is at least as common for females to cheat as it is for males to cheat.

[Lalabadie]

Originally Posted by Curtybob

What's with the focus on guys being the cheaters? IME, it is at least as common for females to cheat as it is for males to cheat.

You mean it takes two people to make love?

[Curtybob]

Originally Posted by Lalabadie

You mean it takes two people to make love?

Yes. Unless Palmela (for males) or the Finguh brothers (for females.... or ewwww. Nevermind.) show up for the party.

[Chunk-O-Funk]

Originally Posted by Curtybob

What's with the focus on guys being the cheaters? IME, it is at least as common for females to cheat as it is for males to cheat.

I think it has something to do with the topic of jive's discussion with his wife.

Outgoing slicksters vs. shy guys.

Try to keep up.




EDIT: Oh, you were probably talking about the article. Ahmm, I'll be over there if anyone needs me........