Phone Number Disclaimer

[TheGrizz]

My friends were talking about my constant drunk dialing and drunk texting. They suggested I need to hand out disclaimers when I receive someone's phone number. I took the time to write it up. Tell me what you think.

Disclaimer:
To whom it may concern, if you give me your number you may be subjected to random call or texts
at any hour of the day. I can not stress enough that this WILL happen. Seriously, ask any of my friends.The reasons are exemplified by,
but not limited to, the following:

-Me being lost, drunk, and in dire need of directions.
-Me being drunk and having a cell phone.
-Pocket dials
-Misguided Booty Calls
-Boredom
-Spite
-The need for a deep and meaningful conversation (doesn't happen often)

You are given every right to contact me at anytime if you see fit. However I may not answer right away,
Especially if I'm at work or if it's after 10pm.

I do urge people to contact me as they please, but I reserve the right to not answer the following:

-One word text messages
-Text messages asking if I know where a party can be found.
-Text meassages that consist only of a smiley(any and all varieties)
-Chain texts
-Texts with lyrics from a song that is totally irrelevant to the situation.
-Text messages inquiring about the availability of any and all controlled substances.
-Text messages from underaged parties asking me to buy them alcohol.Specifically, large quantities of cheap hard alcohol.
-Calls or texts from young women asking me where their clothing may be.
-Calls or texts from young women asking me where their dignity is. (Under my bed. Next to your clothing.)
-Dude Nudes

However, in fairness I will always answer the following:

-Late night booty calls/texts
-Early morning booty calls/texts
-Any text or call informing me of something stupid I've done.
-Texts from people too drunk to drive that need a safe ride home.
-Texts involving the words "bro", "jager", and "hammered".
-Calls/Texts from Wade Jones. (cause he's my boy.)

Thank you for reading this. If you agree please contact me at anytime. If not, delete my number and I'll do the same.

[Gopherbassist]

This tale has quite a chill to it, brethren.

[Joe Gress]

Actually, that is pretty damn useful come to think of it. I may steal that idea.

[jp58]

That could come in handy.

[beelzelboss]

Mind if I copy that and use it myself?

[TheGrizz]

Originally Posted by beelzelboss

Mind if I copy that and use it myself?

It's fine with me.

[stinger12345]

Not too bad, but I've found that if you buy younger people lots of cheap alcohol, and over-estimate the price, that leaves you with a nice bottle of Jack. Or smirnoff, if you have a vagina.

[Pilgrim]

I think the OP needs to stop getting drunk and texting.

If you can't drink and behave yourself, don't drink.

This is a major behavioral problem, and you need to deal with it.

[TheGrizz]

You know what Pilgrim? You're right. I should really seek help for my rampant use of a cell phone while I'm intoxicated. Do you have the number for Drunk Dialers Anonymous? I want to put a few back and give them a ring.

[KeithBMI]

Originally Posted by Gopherbassist

This tale has quite a chill to it, brethren.

cool story, bro

[MatticusMania]

Originally Posted by TheGrizz

Do you have the number for Drunk Dialers Anonymous? I want to put a few back and give them a ring.

lol

[DigMe]

"Where their clothing may be"

Logical mistake though as your brain was probably thrown off by the word "clothing" in the same sentence.

bc

[username n/a]

I really want your phone number now.

[TheGrizz]

Originally Posted by DigMe

"Where their clothing may be"

Logical mistake though as your brain was probably thrown off by the word "clothing" in the same sentence.

bc

Touche, sir.

[drteeth]

If you could fit that on a card the size of a credit-card, you could sell those