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View Poll Results: Which punchline is funniest? | |
No, I prefer my shrimp to only have had a mild talking to.
|    | 4 | 12.90% | |
No, I prefer my shrimp waterboarded.
|    | 5 | 16.13% | |
No, I prefer my shrimp to have been obedient.
|    | 1 | 3.23% | |
No, I prefer my shrimp verbally abused.
|    | 2 | 6.45% | |
No, I prefer emo shrimp. They de-vein themselves.
|    | 2 | 6.45% | |
No, I can't eat around the bruises.
|    | 7 | 22.58% | |
No, I prefer my shrimp only mentally tormented.
| | 2 | 6.45% | |
That depends. Why weren't they listening?
| | 1 | 3.23% | |
No, I prefer my shrimp dead.
| | 3 | 9.68% | |
No, I prefer my shrimp assassinated.
| | 1 | 3.23% | |
That depends. Are they cooperating now?
| | 3 | 9.68% |
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03-18-2010, 07:38 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Northern Illinois | | | Pick the punchline
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Help me with picking a punchline for my joke.
My family and I went to Lonestar Steakhouse celebrating my son's awesome report card and teacher conference. The waiter asked me if I'd like to add battered shrimp to my dinner. I said,
1 No, I prefer my shrimp to only have had a mild talking to.
2 No, I prefer my shrimp waterboarded.
3 No, I prefer my shrimp to have been obedient.
4 No, I prefer my shrimp verbally abused.
5 No, I prefer emo shrimp. They de-vein themselves.
6 No, I can't eat around the bruises.
7 No, I prefer my shrimp only mentally tormented.
8 That depends. Why weren't they listening?
9 No, I prefer my shrimp dead.
10 No, I prefer my shrimp assassinated.
11 That depends. Are they cooperating now?
Which is funniest?
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If the choice is butterscotch, I'll have the scotch. - Member: Sadowsky#386. Mediocre Bassist#41 VT-Bass#19
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03-18-2010, 07:54 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Lincolnshire, UK | | | I pick none of them.
Instead:
"But my wife is already at the table" |
03-18-2010, 08:03 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Madison, NJ | | | Frankly, none of them are funny...
__________________
- Timothy P. Lyons
Your Neighborhood Friendly Candyman
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03-18-2010, 08:04 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Lincolnshire, UK | | | The set-up isn't great either really. |
03-18-2010, 08:05 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Lincolnshire, UK | | | |
03-18-2010, 08:06 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: PA | | | agreed
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Dean 4 String
Olp 5 String
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03-18-2010, 08:09 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Here we are... | | | Carrots are shrimply delicious!
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Phalex  generic gigantic ice breaking schlong | Quote:
Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar generic gigantic ice-breaking schlong | |
03-18-2010, 08:12 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Lincolnshire, UK | | Since we're on the subject of bad shrimp related jokes Quote:
Two guys were working in a morgue. While the supervisor was quite switched on, his assistant was rather daft.
One day they were talking and the assistant said, “Did you notice the young girl that was delivered this morning? The one that died from an overdose?”
“What about her?” asked the supervisor.
“Well, if you look closely, you’ll see she’s got a shrimp in her [lady garden]!”
“[BS]!” said the supervisor, “That’s impossible! You’re mad!”
The supervisor then decided to settle this once and for all. So off they went to the morgue. The assistant pulled open the drawer, pulled apart the deceased girl’s legs and said, “See, I told you there was a shrimp in there.”
“You idiot, that’s not a shrimp, that’s a clitoris,” corrected the supervisor.
To which the assistant responded, “Well, it tasted like a shrimp!”
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03-18-2010, 11:17 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: QLD, Australia | | Quote:
Originally Posted by onlyoneZ Lonestar Steakhouse | Oh man, sudden craving to go to Lonestar, haven't been there in a good 10 years or so.
I wonder if there are even any left in the country 
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Stigs I could never get past anything involving exponents, atheists don't believe in higher powers. | |
03-18-2010, 11:46 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Maine/Vermont | | Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDarkReaver Since we're on the subject of bad shrimp related jokes |
What'd the blind man say when he walked past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies." |
03-18-2010, 11:59 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: AZ | | Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDarkReaver Since we're on the subject of bad shrimp related jokes | 
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Traben Club #51 Praise & Worship #617 AZ Bands #3
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03-19-2010, 05:24 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Seattle | | | Could I get a lightly tossed dwarf instead?!? |
03-19-2010, 09:18 AM
| | | Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDarkReaver | Well there it is. Why don't you put this one into the poll?
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Ray Salamon I think what is being said is that he can't find porn on the internet. Massive fail. That's like, Mark Wilson sized failing. | |
03-19-2010, 10:03 AM
|  | Yeah, I've got the moves like Jagger. | | Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: G.R. MI | | I'm surprised they even offered to give you a portion of shrimp at all. After all, they are Shellfish!
Wocka Wocka 
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by BassChalice Everybody pay attention to Phalex now! | Quote:
Originally Posted by champbassist My cat breath smelling a cat's odor is eating. | Quote:
Originally Posted by hover He's got the Moo OO OO OO OO OO OO OObs like Jagger.... | |
03-19-2010, 10:07 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Purple Mountain Majesties | | | okay, so it's corny. so what.
I was torn between #4 and #6. |
03-19-2010, 11:00 AM
|  | The older I get, the better I was. | | Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Pasadena, CA | | | I like corny crap like that. I voted for #6, but I'd keep a few of those in the arsenal for use at different times. |
03-19-2010, 01:01 PM
|  | The Lowdown Diggler | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Huntington Beach, CA | | | I would have said, no, I like my shrimp anal raped before being put on the plate. That way they're nice and tender. |
03-19-2010, 01:55 PM
| | Yeah, I've got the moves like Jagger. | | Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: G.R. MI | | Quote:
Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar I would have said, no, I like my shrimp anal raped before being put on the plate. That way they're nice and tender. | I like my shrimp restrained with duct tape and anal raped before being put on the plate.
I dunno why, but any rape joke just get's better with Duct Tape. Huh, I think I just discovered the one thousand and second thing you can do with Duct Tape; Make rape jokes funnier. I think I'll write a letter to the Duct Tape people right now.....
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by BassChalice Everybody pay attention to Phalex now! | Quote:
Originally Posted by champbassist My cat breath smelling a cat's odor is eating. | Quote:
Originally Posted by hover He's got the Moo OO OO OO OO OO OO OObs like Jagger.... | |
03-19-2010, 04:12 PM
| | The older I get, the better I was. | | Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Pasadena, CA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Phalex I like my shrimp restrained with duct tape and anal raped before being put on the plate.
I dunno why, but any rape joke just get's better with Duct Tape. Huh, I think I just discovered the one thousand and second thing you can do with Duct Tape; Make rape jokes funnier. I think I'll write a letter to the Duct Tape people right now..... | Sure. Nothing says funny like rape and duct tape. |
03-19-2010, 04:15 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Maine/Vermont | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Phalex | Quote:
Originally Posted by EricF Nothing says funny like rape and duct tape. | A fantastic picture/caption combination | | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | 
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